"Yes, I demand that everyone give hugs to all computer programmers. We're the people who slave away most of our lives to make sure your excrement goes to the excrement section and not into the fresh water system"
"Also, I would like to share a few conversations I had in my head while I was answering my departamental exam a while ago. It went like this.
'Do you think you're going to fail CMPROG2?'
'Hmmm... maybe.'
'Your entire future depends on this subject, you know.'
'Oh... is that so? Then my future consists of me living in a cardboard box under a bridge and eating rice and salt.' "
"I punched the vending machine. Mighty hard at that as it left a small dent. People then mistook me for a dyke which isn't possible since I was wearing a purty dress during that occassion."
"As for the grease, did you know that my ovaries went into overdrive when I once saw him with grease on his cheek after he slid out from under a car?"
"Blocks of cheese make very effective bludgeoning weapons if people try to steal the last hotdog on the table"
"I swear to all the bovine gods of fate, Jeffrey John McKee, that if you wear drag and turn out to be prettier than me, I will skin you alive"
"Sometimes, I take the CPU with me for a bath so that it explodes and I get to call the hunky technician and drool over him while he fixes my computer"
Silverlight: *gets all shivery* "Koth said I was cute again..."
EC: *snorts* "Like you have a chance, SL. You don't have the ummm... right plumbing."
"If I put a sock down my pants, would you marry me?"
"Also, last warning, there is implied homosexual content. If you're a homophobic person, kindly shoot yourself. The world has no need for you."
"If he sees you around campus, try saying 'I'm not Jeff. I'm his doppleganger
actually. Wanna see me hack somebody into pieces with a butter knife?' "
"Is it normal for meat to explode when it's superheated? Because I do not want to eat meat that has been scraped off of my once pristine microwave walls."
"So, my cellphone vibrated and what was my first thought which I blurted out not-so-silently? 'Oh my God, my crotch is vibrating!'"
