The Tale of Dennis the AntiDepressant Lamp
By Malekith
Once there was a little lamp, sitting on the shelf beside some old tosters in a pawnbrokers shop.
It was the loneliest little thing one could ever lay eyes upon. There you have rows upon rows of shining, stainless steel toasters, then smack dab in the middle of them, is a happy-go-lucky, manic depressed lamp.
After serious urging by the toaster upperclass, lamp was forced to retire from the shelf and sit in the dusty corner. Then one day, Mr. Jack from the school board walked into the shop and said,
"Pardon me good sir, I am looking for a lamp to cheer up my students"
The pawner said, "Awk, sir! Canna ye mean a Toaster? Nothin' cheeer's up a kiddie more than a nice 'oaster! 'ust 'hink! 'f 'hey 'e 'ungry, 'll 'hey gotta 'o, 's, pop in some 'read, and 'ooom! 'hey 'otts 'oast!"
"No, I'm pretty sure I want a lamp, I have this niffty Vitamin D lightbulb that makes people happy happy, and i'm sure it won't fit in a toaster. I'll look around" said Mr. Jack.
He searched high and low, until he came across the dark corner where little denis sat, frowning to himself, because that is the only thing he could do right now, considering his smile was painted on upside down by his last owner.
"I'll take this little laddie" Mr.Jack said, and picked Denis up.
"Special price for you, Five dolla!" the Pawner said.
Mr. Jack paid the money and took little dennis home. With a quick flick of his paint brush, Mr.Jack turned Dennis's frown Upsidedown and Dennis beamed with unholy demonic happiness.
He sits now, in a room, spreading his demonic gospel for the occupants of that room, driving them crazy, and playing funny funny jokes on their heads.