Title: Confessions
Author: Miss J.Lynn
Chapter: 1. I might make this into a series of different types of
confessions. Not sure yet.
Disclaimer: Mature Content
Rating: R
Distribute: Ask first
Feedback: Pretty pretty please?
Type of Fiction: Part Fiction part Non Fiction. Hey, I have some
issues to work out. Leave me alone. First person narrative
Characters belong to me. Take and you will burn in hell, maybe. =) And
this was written kind of spur of the moment, so please overlook any
typos or grammical errors.
I never thought I'd be here. In this point in my life. But here I am,
looking back at the last few months, wondering who this woman was that
was leading my life. She certainly wasn't me. This woman had no
morals, no values.
I had grown up as the good Christian little girl. All through high
school I was known as the untouchable. I did no wrong. The teachers
loved me. I volunteered for all sorts of projects. I worked part time
and my boss loved me. I was untouchable.
Now I'm here. I've sunk lower than I could have ever imagined. I quit
college 9 credits shy of graduating with my degree in Arts and
Sciences. I moved out of my parents home and into a place where I rent
my room. I worked overnights in a small gas station. Everyone's dreams
for what I would one day become are just a mocking reminder of how far
I've fallen.
That's not the worst of it though. None of that ever displaced my
morals or values. I was still the good girl. The innocent one. I was
just on a rocky path. Trying to find my way, is what they said. I
found my way alright. My way to him.
God, I had never been so tempted by one man before. I had always had
some perverse pleasure in turning men down. And then Karma spit in my
face.
He was everything I had ever wanted in a man. He was charming,
good-looking, had a body to die for, made me laugh and could commit in
a relationship. Unfortunately, he was committed to another woman. He
was engaged, and the daddy of their 5 month old daughter to boot.
That should have stopped me. Prior to him, that would have stopped me
dead in my tracks. But his brown eyes were to hard to turn away from.
I couldn't say no. I tried, more than once, but a few words from him
and I was back at his feet. Lapping up the attention he gave me.
I became the other woman in the most oblivious fashion. By the time I
knew it was happening, my heart was already gone. I had been cheated
on in the past, and I had hated the other woman. Now I sympathized
with her. I knew her pain. The pain of being the one hidden from view.
The one called on in the wee hours of the morning. The one nobody knew
about.
When he talks amongst our group of friends, I hear plans for his
wedding. I hear plans for romantic weekends away. I hear about her and
his love for her. And it kills me. Because I have to smile, pretend
I'm happy. Pretend I'm not dying. Pretend I'm not hurting.
Even if the truth comes out someday, I must pick up and move on like
nothing hurt me. I'm the other woman. I'm the cold-hearted, callous
bitch that stalked her prey supposedly. I am not allowed to mourn the
passing of this stage in life. I'm not allowed to feel sad or hurt.
I didn't mean to hurt her. His fiancee. I have no ill will towards
her. In fact, in my mind, she doesn't even seem truly real. Like some
force from the imagination. But I have hurt her. Even if she doesn't
realize it yet, I know I have hurt her. And that hurts me too.
For now, I'll hide here in the shadows. I'll claim that I'm moving on
with my life. That it's not fair that he goes home to someone and I go
home to my empty bed. But when he calls, I'll be there. I can't
resist. I'm not the temptress. I'm merely the tempted.
And this is the Confession of the Other Woman.