One of my esteemed co-workers, who hates what he does even more than I do, had the pleasure of calling a number of "below spend" custoemrs yesterday. He left a message for a "gentleman" (and I use that term very loosely for this guy) who called us back this morning. My co-worker wasn't available to take the call, so yours truly had the pleasure of talking to him.
First of all, this business owner said that we were full of excrement (he used the slang word that I, as a Christian writer, refuse to use) and that his bills are always above our minimum. I explained to this businessman, who I hope doesn't use this kind of language when dealing with his own customers, that the minimum usage charge doesn't include taxes. His response? "None of the *expletive* that you sent me says anything about that."
"Did you read the terms and conditions in the catalog?" I asked him.
There was a pause, as he tried to come up with a suitable answer that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot. Then he said, "Your catalog is 48 pages long and I'm running a business. I don't have time to read that *expletive*."
"Actually, the terms and conditions are only two pages of that catalog," I pointed out.
Another pause. I could almost hear the rocks in his head shaking around. "You should put'em in the front. Every other rewards program that I deal with puts their rules in the front."
Okay, moron, since the T&Cs aren't in the front of the catalog, you assume that their aren't any? AND THEY ACTUALLY LET YOU RUN A BUSINESS?!
I honestly think that every business owner should have to take an IQ test and score at least a 100 . . . That is, the national average. By the way, for those of you who have to scream obsenities when talking to somebody over the phone, they just make you sound stupid.
Neither I, nor the co-worker who originally left the message, made these rules. We just do what is necessary to make a living. When you don't know how to read, don't take it out on us. Either take it out on the company with whom you have a problem or on the school teacher who failed to teach you how to read.
September 9, 2004
