Drunk/Stoner Moments
The Red Rocket Ride
One day during lunch we decided to take a little break from school. A smoke till you choke break. So we drove around the loop near the school after we snuck off campus. We had smoked a bowl of pretty good weed and were having each a ciggarette laughing having a good time. Then one of my friends said "Whats that smell?" everyone looked around but it didn't seem to faze one person then the same person said, "Look there is smoke." I said, "Nah dude that from a ciggarette." My friend in the front picked up this piece of paper that we realize the smoke was coming from and it WHOOSH, the paper was completly on fire. The driver had flicked his ashes and some of the cherry of the ciggarette got onto the piece of paper. It was madd funny.
The Swamp
me and my exboyfriend wanted to get high so we drove behind the trailer park cause i knew this trail. i was like 'i dunno whats past this. i haven't been any farther then back there.' well there was a reason i guess. it was a swamp. we got stuck for a little while...but we got out. just remember...if it looks wet it probably is.
Penguins
anytime my sister comes home drunk or high she always says, 'dude sorry...the fuckin penguins. they fuckin made me do it mom. u wouldn't believe how good they are a getting u to do shit.'
Mailbox
me, my sister shaunna, derek, and nick were walking down the road while while we were high. so anyways we pass a mailbox and nick hits it. i was like 'nick don't hit mailboxes. thats not nice' he was like 'fuckin mailbox hit me. as a matter of fact i should go back and kick it's ass'
Juice and uh...nothing
we were all riding around in a car. me, jess, shaunna, alex, and matt. alex had half a gallon of just orange juice and we had some gin too. they weren't mixed together though. alex said, 'matt what some juice?' matt said, 'is there any gin in it?' and alex is like 'uh no.' and matt said, 'what the fuck would i want fuckin juice with no gin for? don't be stupid'
Dude where's my water?
my sister had madd cotton mouth from smoking. so her and her friend went into a discount store to get some water. $0.70 for 2 bottles. so she was all proud and then suddenly her water was gone. and the cotton mouth was just getting worse. she looked and looked and looked till she took off her hoodie and realize it was in the hood of her hoodie.
Double or nothing
me and my friend rachael were drinking one night and i didn't want to get too fucked up. so i drank enough to get me buzz and then i stopped. my friend was like 'omg thats all u can drink. come on a little more. match shots wit me' so i put my tongue on the bottle so not alcohol would come out and shes like 'thats more like it' in the end she was doubly trashed and by the time i had to go home i was sober.
Bedside Noises
now to start off wit for n e 1 this has happened to...i feel your pain. i got really high, like most teenagers do, and happened to pass out on my friend rachael, her boyfriend's bed. they felt it was necessary to have sex while i slept right near them. like a foot away. i kinda heard noises while i was sleeping but dismissed them. i woke up all chinc eyed and shit and was like 'do did u guys scrog(that means fuck)?' and they laugh. fuckin laugh. one day i will pay back the favor don't u worry rachy!
Dis ya King
Me and my friend Megan were in Burger King getting food b/c we were hell high (duh reason enough), and this really annoying kid followed us inside. so he is sitting there talking to us and i keep thinking that he should shut his mouth or something. my friend said something and the guy was like 'i'm sorry my mind is somewhere else' and i'm sorry i'm not a mean person but this was too good for a burn. i said, 'why can't you go to were your mind is then?' haha. great!!
Passing Scare
Alright, so we are going for our morning burn cruise and we get behind a bus, whcich as you know has many stops and little kids looking out the back windows, so we passed them. There was another car coming in the oppisit direction and we just barely passed the bus and the car was like 3 and a half away. the dumbass driving the car flashes his lights at us. i was like 'move over' my friend meg laughed and said 'your scared' and i was like 'i wasn't until dumbass back there tapped his lights instead on his brakes'. it was funny then.
M&M Contest
We were madd hungry and went to Evans to get some food. my friend alisha got some M&Ms and opened them when we all got back into the car. it was the ones with the tie dye and she said 'uh dude you guys pull over i think we won.' see we thought that you just had to get the tie dye on some of the M&Ms and we pulled over and started flippin out cause we thought we won. we went back to the store and bought another bag and realized we really didn't b/c they didn't have the tie dye on all them. our few minutes in fame was fun though.
Pimp Line
this hott guy we know was talking to his soon to be slut of an ex wife. my friend is like 'call his phone' so my friend took his cell phone and walked outside, i called it and she answered 'Hello Scotty's Pimp Line? How may I help you?' the slut's face was priceless.
Pick me up later...
i was at a party and this really hot guy was trying to get with me. we were on the couch apparently talking (i don't remember about what) and i was like falling onto him and shit cause honestly i couldn't sit up. he said something about going into the other room and i got up and started walking in the other direction. he said 'this room is this way' i was like 'i'm going to puke'. i got outside and puke my brains out over the deck. it was priceless.
1-800-be-found
well when your high you seem to come up with a lot of great ideas? right...well i do. i was pretty stoned and i told my friend meg, "when baby's are born we should tattoo on them 'if found please call (phone number of child)'. wouldn't that be a good idea?" she is like "yeah it really would...but wait, what if they move" i thought about it and said "we will put their social security number on there chest then" and she brought up another important point "what about guys...people can steal their identity" and me thinking quickly..."we tattoo it on their ass" so now life can be safer and you can always identifiy unknown people.