September - 1999

Why am I happier this month, then I can remember being in such a long time? My personal life certainly isn't the happiest of times right now. But all things change with time whether we seek the change or not. It's just that if we don't play a more active role, it can take a bit longer. And my being transsexual and acquiring a very low self esteem that began over 41 years ago will not be erased over night. No matter how happy I become, or how well something is going, there is always a feeling, whether it's voiced or not, that something will go wrong eventually. It's just something that I will have to work on. But still, inside at the very core of my soul, I am very happy right now.

My therapist that has been such a good friend, and support to me, is retiring at the end of this year. I will miss him dearly. But he has left me with the best, most precious gift ever! I was introduced to my new therapist only three weeks ago. My new therapist is literally a dream come true for me. The previous therapist had voiced concern that he "hoped" I could relate to my new therapist. He wanted to leave me with someone that could help me continue through my necessary therapy, helping me to finish preparing myself for transitioning into RLT (Real Life Training). He felt that my new therapist being a woman, would be better able to prepare me for the next few months to come. My make up, deportment, choosing more appropriate styled clothing, and through to SRS and afterward for as long as needed. That he has done. And though I've known her for only a few short weeks, I've already grown as fond of her as I would a sister.

The previous therapist personality was more quite and laid back. The new therapist personality is the opposite. She is much more outgoing and into physically doing things. In the beginning sessions I had needed the quiteness as exhibited of the first. And now as my life is progressing toward my goal for SRS, I was needing someone exactly as she is. She was well chosen. She can help me better prepare myself for the next few months to come.

And this is why I am so happy -

My new therapist believes that I can be ready for my SRS by the fall of next year.

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