February 14
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16
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February
19
March 5
March 27
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21
March 7
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22
March 9
March 30
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23
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April 1
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24
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25
March 14
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27
March 18
I am in London and is has been quite a trip. My luggage managed to get lost and I have been wearing the same clothes for three days. This morning, I went out and bought a bar of soap and a comb, so that I could take a shower, and comb my hair. My luggage finally came today and so I will be able to wear a fresh pair of underwear tomorrow.
London is very expensive. Everything here costs in terms of numbers what it might cost at home. The problem is that one Pound is worth like $1.75. So everything is really so much more. This Hostel is costing me 24 Pounds per night. That is really expensive for a hostel. I have mostly been eating sandwiches that run about two Pounds. Tonight I went to a pizza place and had a pizza. The tips are included here at 10%.
I got here yesterday and did a lot of walking around. I bought a day pass for the underground and so I also rode it quite a bit. There were problems, however, and I had to take different routes. There was an accident on one of the lines and it was shut down.
I am not quite over the jet lag. It has not been really bad, but this afternoon I took a long nap because I could not keep my eyes open. Still, I mostly have energy.
Tomorrow, I think,
I am going to go to Cambridge. Charles and Janet Echols have agreed
to put me up. I should call them tonight. I am not quite sure
how to best get there. I am betting that a train runs that way, but
I do not know where to catch it. I should look at a map.
Well, I am pretty
tired. I have been walking around quite a bit.
I am now in Cambridge staying with the Echols. The cold is starting to get to me a little, but I am enjoying it. The sun has been shining the whole time I have been here--a reversal of the norm, as I hear it has been raining in Phoenix ever since I left. Cambridge is a nice little town. It is definitely a college town. It is much more European seeming to me than London. I went on a walking tour of the town and many of the colleges. It was a nice and informative walk. I will say that my Achilles tendons are killing me. I think it may be the boots, but it may also be the walking.
The trop has been good so far. I have been feeling a real sense of adventure. It is fun to see new places. I went to a bar by the riverside and had a pint of Fosters. They were having a contest like in the movie “Cocktail”. I watched for a while, but not wanting to worry the Echols, I came back. Unfortunately the train did not leave right away. I also did not really get to talk to anyone. I did ask one guy about a tip, and it turns out that you only tip when you want to and most people do not tip at a bar.
I am probably going to go to a few museums tomorrow and then on Tuesday make my way back to London and then to Oxford. I saw a sign at King’s Cross station that had tickets to Dublin for only 19 Pounds. (I also saw the sign for Platform 9 3/4.) So I hope I can get a ticket. I need to look at the web site, but did not write it down when I first saw it. I forgot that I brought my memo pad. I will not forget from now on.
I am in Oxford now. The whole of yesterday was spent traveling. Actually, I had I left earlier I the morning, I would have been able to spend more time in Oxford. As it was, I spent time playing with Grace Echols and then waiting for Janet to give me a present for the Tucks. She went away somewhere, before I knew it, and I had to wait for her to come back. It was all fine though. It made the day more relaxing. I have really been feeling the pain I my Achilles tendon. It hurts like Hell! Sometimes it feels as thought I can hardly walk. I wonder if it is my boots. I am not sure.
The Tucks are friends of the Echols. Janet arranged it so I could stay with them. Thus the reason I wanted to wait and bring the present Janet had for them. They have been very nice to me. Katie’s sister, Emily, is very pretty, though much too young for me. They have been wanting to treat me more like a proper guest than a border, and have apologized for not been better hosts. I have told them repeatedly that they have been very gracious and that I am grateful for the food and hospitality that they have provided. Perhaps they simply do not believe me.
Stephen and I talked a little theology last night and he started me thinking again. But, tonight, as we discussed some other religions, Wicca in particular, I saw again the Matrix I action: so ready to condemn other religions, and so unwilling to see the shaky ground upon which a person’s own religion is built. Christianity has pretenses that are just as absurd as Wicca. The proofs for Wicca are just as much faith-based as Christianity. It is all in the heart. Science cannot prove God, nor prove one religion over another. Faith, in the heart, and in the head, is the ultimate proof. The Matrix is the ultimate proof.
I am now in Bath. I was only planning to stay one day, but I met a guy from Germany who wanted to go to Bristol to see a Shakespeare play, and I decided to stay another night and go with him. Before I go, however, I am visiting the Jane Austin Centre, more for Cherry’s sake than my own. Still it is a nice tour. I shall have to read more of her work.
I have been feeling sick lately. It hit me when I went to sleep last night. I tried rinsing with salt water this morning and taking some suphadrine. So far I am feeling okay, but I am suffering with a runny nose. I think I have a head cold, as I have a fever.
In Oxford, I went to C.S. Lewis’ house, a small red bricked house with perhaps 4 bedrooms. I also went to his grave, a flat stone with a cross carved in it and a dedication at the bottom. There were some yellow flowers placed there by someone.
I am still in Bath.
I have been in England longer than a week. Tonight I am taking a
bus to a ferry which will take me to Dublin, Ireland. The bus does
not leave Bristol until 10:30, so I have plenty of time to kill.
I wanted to go to an Internet place, but They seem more expensive here
than in other cities. I am thinking that I might take the bus to
Bristol now and then go to an Internet shop there. I think it was
cheaper there.
I was there yesterday with Dirk, the German guy. We went to see a Shakespeare play: King John. They did an excellent job with the play. I was very impressed though I never read it. Still, it is nice to see Shakespeare and not have to read it: that is the way Shakespeare meant it. The English accents were nice too. It seemed to make it more authentic to me. At times, I was the only one laughing. The introduction, like most of Shakespeare’s works is full of lewd jokes. I was honestly laughing, but no one else was. Did they not get it? How could that be?
I seem to be having a hard time writing, unlike the time before when I was in Germany. I hear these ideas in my head, but cannot seem to put them on paper. I think I should try. So, here are some memories:
As I left Phoenix, I was filled with fear and excitement. I did not know how I was going to live for the next month. It had been so long since I had been in a position like this, feeling aimless, direction-less, without set plans or goals. But as I stepped onto the plane, my fears seemed to melt away, as the spirit of adventure grew within me. I had little trouble talking to people on the plane, and adjusted to life on the go pretty quickly. Even now, as I sit in this place, with my huge backpack next to me, and nowhere to go for several hours, I am feeling calm and unafraid.
In Toronto, I was forced to go through customs, even though I was not staying, and nearly missed my connecting flight. I heard my name as a “last call”, and was worried that I might have to wait for another flight. But, I did not. Some people let me cut ahead to get through the security line in the terminal I was leaving from. I was about to be checked by another guard for my ticket; when I said exasperated that my name was just called, he patted me on the back and told me to go. I slept briefly twice on the plane and did watch the in-flight movie, Sweet Home Alabama. It was okay. I am glad that I did not pay to see it though. After the movie was over, I was looking out the window, trying to see I would be able to see more stars over the Atlantic Ocean. I could not. I think the lights of the plan itself prevented me.
Finally, as were started
descending toward London, I was trying to enjoy the sun for the last time.
The sky was covered in clouds and I was sure I would not be seeing the
sun for weeks. I was wrong, and I am very delighted that the sun
has been out most of the time I have been here. Before descending
into Heathrow, we had to fly circles for ten minutes. I guess it
was a security measure. Looking out my window, I could see two small
planes in the distance, hovering above the clouds, miles away. We
finally descended and I was at last in England, my
fears completely alleviated.
My luggage did not make it here to England with me. I think because it got searched, it got slowed down. Anyway, for the first two days, I had nothing but the clothes on my back. It did not frustrate me or trouble me. I just kept my head up and enjoyed the newness of what was around me. I had to buy a bar of soap and a comb, so that I could take a shower, and at least feel clean.
Once I made it to Cambridge, I felt completely at home. I have noticed, however, that English toilets do not always function properly. I have had a hard time flushing them. I was very tempted, at the Echols’, to take theirs apart, so that I could see why when I flush it and hold the handle, it will not flush. It is maddening.
Most Englanders are very polite. I have seen little rudeness here. People will try to step out of my way, they hold doors for one another, and say please and thank you more often then we do in America. One day, however, as I was walking in London, a man was walking very quickly and bumped into a girl who crossed his path. She turned around after he did not apologize and said, “Are you mad?!” When he did not respond, she just kept walking.
In Oxford, I was walking through an indoor marketplace. I was trying to find a coffee shop there that Stephen Tuck had recommended. I was in a world of my own when I was shaken out of it after I nearly bumped into a girl. I think her shoulder rubbed against my chest. I said that I was sorry and she looked at my starry-eyed. She apologized and I said that it was my fault. Had I been living in Oxford, I might have asked her on a date. I mean, she really that the look on her face like she was destined to bump into me. She was quite cute, by the way.
Last night, (I cannot believe what happened), one of the guys in the hostel came home really drunk. I woke up to the sound of someone peeing. I honestly thought that he was peeing in the sink, or something like that. Maybe he had to go so badly, that he was not able to make it to the bathroom down the hallway. Then a moment later, he tried to climb into my bed. At that point, I knew that there was no way that he could have been peeing in the sink. Michael’s bed was next to mine and the sink was on the other side of his bed. . He could not have my bed for his had he been at the sink. When I woke up this morning, I found that he had peed on the floor at the corner of my bed. I am glad that I was not on the bottom bunk. I had to tell Dirk (the German guy) about it this morning. I am laughing about it now.
Well, I feel much better about what I have written today. Maybe Queen’s Square in Bath has had some effect upon me. Until next time!
It was a long grueling ride, but I am here in Dublin. I am disappointed by what I have found too. It seems to me to be too much like a slum. It seemed, in many ways, like a ghost town. It is not clean and quaint like I imagined Ireland to be. I do not feel a connection to this place.
The bus ride started out for me very early. I took the bus to Bristol from Bath and got there several hours before I needed to be there. I was able to leave my backpack at a store there for 1 Pound fifty, but spent most of my time looking for an Internet Cafe. I wanted to check my e-mail and send out some stuff. I also wanted to check about working at a youth hostel. I think I will try to fill out the paperwork when I get to Nadine’s house. I did not want to pay for printing costs.
I got back with four hours left to wait for the bus and so I sat in kind of a park which connected several (British) subways--underground passages for pedestrians to walk through. I met a couple of homeless guys there who seemed nice enough, but when one left and the other invited me to tea, I had to say no. I was not about to risk being beaten up and robbed.
I finally went back to the bus station, whose toilets were closed ad the portable one’s locked, and waited it out, getting cold, and having to pee more than once. I wound up urinating outside once and then going into a pub another time.
By the time the bus got there, I was freezing. On the bus there were just no open seats that did not have someone in the next seat. I had to sit next to one of the women who had also been waiting for the same bus. She turned out to be a nice woman, and sitting next to her was a good thing. We talked a lot and she explained a lot of things to me. We stayed together until the ferry ride ended and then I had to switch busses. That ride was bad because I was so tired. I had only slept in fits on the bus and on the ferry. I did not get to see much of the landscape to the coast, as it was so dark, and it was really too cold and dark to go out and watch the ocean.
When I arrived in Dublin, I felt a bit lost, but wandered around and managed to find the youth hostel, without a map. I am staying to night and then on to somewhere else. I am not sure now. I need to figure that out.
After my second day in Dublin, I like it a lot more. It is busier on Mondays than on Sunday. Still, it is not the most beautiful city I have been to. I am also disappointed by the lack of great looking redheads. I thought at least a third of the people here would have red hair, and it is just not true.
I got lost today, because I lost my map of the city. I thought that I generally news where I was going, but I was wrong. I found my way back, but chance, I think. I did remember one street, which turned into the street that the hostel is on. I got a new map as soon as I got back. It still bugs, though, that I lost it. I am not sure where or how, when I went looking for it, I could not find it.
Tomorrow, I am going to leave and I have not figure out where. I am going to call Miriam’s cousin pretty soon and asking him. I wish I had more time to spend in Ireland. I also wish I could drive it on my own. I feel like I am missing a lot. I do not really want to be in the big cities anymore. I would like to see some of the landscape and scenery this country has to offer. Well, the lights are not working in here and it is getting too dark to write. . .
I am standing by the window sill so that I can write. I am not sure why, but I am really feeling alone now. The newness of being in Europe is wearing off a bit and I am wishing I were not by myself. I think I was also hoping to meet some nice Irish girls and I have not met a single one. Well, it is six O’clock and I think I am going to call Miriam’s cousin.
I am feeling much better today. I am in Galway on Ireland’s West Coast. I went to the beach and just enjoyed the ocean, the rocks and the beauty of the place. The town is quite small and easy to navigate. When I got here, I realized that the youth hostel is closed until summer, so I am staying at another one, more expensive. The rooms are coed and so far I have a couple of Italian girls with me. On the way here, I talked some with a girl on the train. She was really nice, with another girl who was mentally challenged. We did not talk a lot, but she suggest that I see the Aran Islands. This girl was not great looking, but I liked her a lot. She had a cute face, kind of like Kitty Bentley. Here eyes were kind tough, and she was not at all filled with pride. She seemed to just enjoy life as it came her way. I almost bought her a cup of coffee. I am not sure now why I did not. Even if I never saw here again, it would have been a friendly gesture. The stupid little decisions I make could have monstrous consequences, in this cast good. I never pay attention when I should.
Tomorrow, I am planning to see the Cliffs of Mohar on a tour. The next day, I want to see the Island. I hope to be able to come back from that and go to Killarny. I can stay two nights there and then go to Cork. Maybe I will only stay one night in Killarny. I want to be in Germany by Sunday. I will have to see how it goes. I figured that I could go to Karnival on Rosenmontag and Dienstag.
I sent out postcards today: to dad, glen, gray, cherry and Lynn Turner. I should have done it a while ago, but I have been lazy.
I also super glued the starter piece back on my zipper. I hope it works, so that I can zip my jacket up again. I need the protection from the cold, and I was not about to pay more than the jacket cost, to get a new one put in. I have at time, really wanted to zip up my jacket, and could not. I also realized that my army knife had a small pair of pliers. I could have tried to fix the jacket’s zipper myself and it might not have broken. Hindsight is always 20/20. It is close to 8 PM. I think I am going to check out some television.
I just saw the kind girl from the train. Her name is Geraldine and her friend’s name is Effa. I now think that Effa has some kind of muscular disease rather than a mental disease. I saw her at a bank teller machine, and I am afraid that I frightened her by tapping her on the shoulder. I was, however, very friend with her and she soon relaxed. I did not get much time with her, but I was glad for a second chance to see her. I thought she was going to join me for a cup of coffee, but Effa did not want to stay. It was okay. I felt good about talking to her.
Had I planned better, I would be leaving tomorrow night. I should have done the cliffs of Moher tomorrow and today gone to the Aran Islands. The latest bus leave at 6:05 and I do not get back until 6:30. Actually, I am going to stay on the Island one night tomorrow. I talked with the Italian girls, who said it was cheaper than here. Karnival starts tomorrow, and I am feeling pressed for time. I want to see more in Ireland, but if I go to Karnival, I doubt that I will get back: this time. Since I have been to Germany before, I am not planning on spending too much time there this time.
I really want to check the balance in my checking account to see where I stand. I have probably used one thousand dollars already, though I am not exactly sure. My money is going much faster now. I have been eating mostly sandwiches and drinking mostly water. But I did by that coffee tonight. At least it was not Starbucks. I am kind of glad that they have not moved into Ireland. The pace of life is a bit slower, I think, in Ireland and so people do not need their fancy coffee. I noticed that in England it was a more uppity crowd there. I guess I have become a coffee snob.
I am wondering whether or not I should skip going to Killarny. There is a great National Park there, but Geraldine said that I would need at least two days to see it properly. That is frustrating, because just now, I do not have the time.
If I had traveled better, in the night, rather than in the mornings, I could have traveled that night and then used the mornings to do tours or whatever. I was tempted to rent a car, but I think the cost would be too much. If I were traveling with someone who could split the cost. So much for being a loner. Tonight, I need to pack up my stuff so that I can meet the bus in the morning to go to the Aran Islands. Sometimes, I miss the way that Robert was so anal when traveling: always having a book, always planning. I could use some tips from him. With any luck, I will see him by next week. I don’t plan to stay with him for long. I am going to call soon and see what the penalty would be to chance my ticket home. If it is not too much, I may stay until the end of March. My Eurail pass would not be worth it otherwise. I am sure it will be a lot. I will have to see.
Today I went to one of the oldest fortresses in Europe. It is on the highest point of Inis Mor, the Island that I am staying on. One side of it is made up of cliffs that face the Atlantic Ocean, the rest of it is made up of a two large semi-circular walls. I stood at the edge of these cliffs, again the highest point on the island, and I was able see the entire west coast of the island, which was a huge cliff, hundreds of feet above the ocean. As I looked to the south, I saw cliffs that jutted out from the island and formed a V above the ocean. High tide was coming in and the force of the water was so powerful as it crashed against the cliffs, that it sent spurts of white foam high into the air over the top of the cliffs, dousing the ground at the top. The enormous power was awe-full. It inspired awe in me to see it. Those cliffs had to be more than 200 feet tall.
I went to the edge of the cliffs I was on, laying down on my stomach, and looked over the edge down below. I saw the foaming water smashing against the wall of the cliff, and the water out from the edge had a light green color and I finally understood the meaning of the term sea green. It was not at all like the dirty color of the water of the pacific. As the sun was setting in the distance, over the Atlantic ocean, reflecting the light, I was filled with amazement for that place. It was so beautiful. If a person believed in God, and wanted to find him, that would be the place where he could find him: the place where he could look upon God’s face and see all the power and glory, and splendor of God’s creation. The name of the place is “Dun Aonghasa”.
At first, when I was looking over the edge of the cliff, I was very afraid of falling. Then, I thought about jumping. I knew I could do it, if I really wanted to. At first, I tried to remind myself of the beauty of this place. Then, I thought about how lonely it can be by myself. Everyone else there was with someone; I was alone. I am not miserable, as I have felt, longing for some deep companionship, just aware that I was alone. I think I made the decision that I would jump off that cliff, if I ever decided to kill myself. It sounds morbid, but I would be happier having that view be the last think I ever see. I can only imagine the intense pain after hitting the water and rocks below, but it would not last long enough to really make me stop thinking about jumping.
I arrived here this morning by ferry. I sat on the bus to dock next to the two Italian girls who roomed with me on the first night. Their names are Roberta and Barbara. Roberta is really cute. Today as we were talking, there were a couple of times that she put her hand on my arm. The fist was when I said her name correctly and then she replied, “bravo” to which I replied, “gratci”. The second was when she was showing me a cemetery overlooking the sea. It is so nice to be touched. If she did not smoke, I would really be wanting her. Too bad for both of us. She is really cute and seems sweet too. I could really go for that. She is a little shy, but I like that. Perhaps it is our language difference that makes her shy.
Well, I rode a bike all over this Island today. The chain on the bicycle broke and I was glad that the Irish are so friendly and hospitable. I asked a man for a pair of pliers to re-fasten the link that came off and he literally ran inside to get a pair. He helped me fix it and I was very glad about that. I was very tired though, afterwards, and just made an early dinner of pasta and sauce. I needed some energy. I think I also got too much sun. I have a bit of a headache. I also had some instant cappuccino just in case I needed caffeine. I am drinking water as well, but with it being so cold, I do not notice my need for water as much.
I am now in Cork’s airport, ready to fly to London’s Standstead airport and then to Frankfurt. I should be al Nadine’s by 5:00 PM. I sent her an e-mail yesterday, but I did not get a chance to check it again to see how she responded. If asked her if I could stay with her. I am not sure that she would want me to. She is pretty forgiving and I think she will be okay with that. I just do not want to hurt her more than I already have.
I left Friday morning on the ferry from the Aran Islands to Galway. The night before, I went out with Barbara and Roberta, and an Irish guy name John. Before we went out, I gave them my address; that is when they invited me out. At the end of the night, I gave Roberta a really big hug: I held on to her for awhile, and she responded. I did, however, find out while we were drinking that she had a boyfriend. I also found out that she was planning to quit smoking. I gave Barbara a hug too, but it was not the same. They both gave me the traditional Italian good-bye (two kisses on the cheek), but I felt much more of a connection with Roberta. She is a cute woman.
I got in kind of late and had to wake up early to eat breakfast. I was the only one in the kitchen eating. It was pretty funny: everyone else slept through breakfast. Breakfast at this hostel was from 8:00 - 9:15 AM. They did not really want to feed people and for most people it was not worth getting up. I got to Galway a little earlier than expected, so I was able to buy a ticket and jump on the bus, but I could not call Austin and Susan.
The bus ride was four hour and a bit tiring. When I finally arrived in Cork, I called Austin at work and he agreed to pick me up as soon as he could. I looked for an Internet cafe to pass the time, but when I found one, it was full and the waiting time would have left Austin waiting for me, which I was not going to do. So, I had to wait. I finally checked my e-mail yesterday and I had 45 messages on one account. There have been some important messages, but I did not have time to check them. I was busy trying to forward all the spam to the spam desk. It is pretty infuriating to get so much shit. I wish I could set my e-mail filter to exclusive, except that I would not get mail from people I have met who are not in my address book.
The first day I arrived in Cork was really nice. Austin and Susan accepted me so readily. We became friends instantly. At first Austin would introduce me as Miriam’s friend, but after a day, he introduced me as his friend. It was nice . We had some dinner, one of the first really good meals I had eaten in a while, and then went out for a few pints. Nearly every Irishman I met was friendly and kind, but they do love their drink.
The next day, yesterday, we went to the Christening of Austin’s nephew. It was a big family event and I me the whole family. There were so nice and friendly. It reminded me of when I used to have dinner with Grandma Barron as a kid and the whole family was there. As I thought about it and though about how I wished my family was worth being that close with, I nearly cried. I really had to stop myself. We stayed there from about 3-4 PM until 11 PM. One of the guys that Austin knew was supposed to drive us home, but decided that we needed to go out for a few pints. It is funny that drinking a few pints at home is not the same as drinking them at a pub. So, we did not get home until midnight and I needed to get up at 7:00 to get on this flight. I am a little tired right now.
I enjoyed myself completely and if I have time and money, I am going to come back to Ireland and visit them again, as well as go to Killarny and some other places. A very cute girl is sitting next to me in the airplane. I will have to start a conversation with her.
* * *
Today has been one of those days that has made me crazy. I left my address book in the Hahn airport and now I have to go back and get it. Nadine told me that I could not stay with her, so I had to find a youth hostel at the last minute. I did not get to eat most of the day, and my German seems pitiful. I am not understanding much of what people are telling me. I also lost one of my gloves. I do not know where. I think on the train from Wuppertal to Cologne. I was really hoping to stay with Nadine’s family, so that I would not be so rushed with the youth hostel, but that did not work out. I am going to have to go to Karnival myself tomorrow, because she decided to go shopping with her friend from work. I don’t know why I expected a better welcome, but I did. Oh well!
I think on Tuesday, I am going to go back to the airport (a 3 and a half hour bus ride) to puck up my address book and then go to Frankfurt and then catch the train to Mallersdorf. At least there, they will let me stay with them. I was stupid to think that Nadine would welcome me warmly. I am really tired and think I am going to go to bed tonight in a few minutes. I also managed to forget my backpack in the airport, and even though I had a luggage check, they gave me crap about getting it back. I had to talk to way too many people. Finally I did get it back.
Today is Rosenmontag and I went to Karnival in Cologne. I did not pay to use the trains. With so many people, I knew that could not check. It did not stop me from being scared though. I did not want to get caught.
Karnival was fun, though not quite a debaucherous as I had hoped. At first I was only planning to go today, but an older woman told me that it was bigger and better tomorrow, so I am staying at the youth hostel one more night.
The mainstay of Karnival is a big parade in which the floats have political slogans and they throw out hoards of chocolate. I mean I gave a lot away to kids near me, and I still brought home a pocket full after eating much of what I caught. There were a lot of people dancing and just watching the parade. Many people were drinking. I bought a beer first thing, but then did not have anything else to drink. I also bought a had, like a jester’s hat, with bells on it. Being that I did not dress up, I felt that I should have something festive on. I stayed pretty late, though the parade ended at about 5 PM. It was jut hard to get away. I spent an hour in the Internet cafe checking e-mail, and forwarding shit-loads of spam to the automated spam cop on my e-mail provider. I hope it will do something. I am wasting so much time forwarding it all.
One thing great about Karnival is that it was meant for the young and old alike. Kids were there having a good time and many old people were too. NO one was ashamed to have a grand party. It was so much more fun than something in America. In America, the ones dancing would have been labeled as crazy. Here anyone danced and no one though them crazy. When I stayed, after checking my e-mail, I found a little spot where that had good music and people were dancing. After getting some napkins to plug my ears (it was extremely loud), I joined them. During one song a conga line started and I was on of the first to join. Well, I think I am going to go to bed now. I did spend too much money today though.
I cannot believe that the old lady lied to me. She told me that there was a celebration yesterday that was bigger and better than Monday. It was completely untrue. On the positive, yesterday was a really nice, clear day and it was a good day to be in Cologne, unlike my previous experience there in which I was so cold ant I just went to the museum. I do feel though that I wasted a day, even though I bought Cherry her clay baking pot. It is huge and I do not know what to do with it. It fits in my backpack, but I would rather not carry it with me to Italy. Now, I am on the train headed for main train station in Cologne. From there I will take a bus back to the airport where I left my address book. From there, I will take a different bus to Frankfurt and finally from Frankfurt, I will take a train to Robert’s or the Mandl’s house. I have to call Robert when I get to the airport. If I can talk to him, I will go there. If not, I will go to his parents house.
I have not called about my plan ticket. I do not have a telephone number for them. I need to call information. The phone at the hostel did not accept phone cards, so I was stuck. I did not want to walk back down the hill to find a phone that took cards.
There was an older little sitting across from me, and I think I made her mad by using the “du” form with her. When she got up to leave, she did lose something and I told her so, but I said “du” and “deine” when I should have said “Sie” and “Ihre”. I guess I am getting old enough that I should use “Sie” with everyone but children. So, I will end here as the last couple of days were not really exciting.
* * *
I am now on the train headed for Munich. I have been reading a lot today, though I did get to chat with a girl from New Zealand earlier. The bus ride to Frankfurt was tolerable because of that. The bus ride to the airport was three times as expensive as it had been (they reduce the price during Karnival) and the cute girl on the bus next to me did not want to talk. I actually tried, but to no avail. I was glad, however, for having tried. I am, however, very tired and cannot now enjoy or rather understand, what I am reading. I hate it the way the words can run through my mind, leaving a distant echo, but no real substance. They pass through and I am not the better for having read. I know, eve though it helps to pass the time, that I should stop reading then.
I am looking forward to Mallersdorf, the Mandls, and some quite solitude. I will likely not stay too long, but it was be a great respite. I can have a day or two of doing next to nothing. I also think that I will leave some of my things with them, and pick them up on the way back, so I do not have to carry so much with me though Italy and Switzerland. I need to plan a little for my trip. Perhaps I can by a guide book for Italy. I hope that Roberta and Barbara get in touch with me. I also hope that Matt’s fiancé with let me stay with her. I kind of doubt it now. The youth hostel will be nice enough though. I think I may save Holland/Amsterdam for Eric, if I can get him to go with me some day. I hope he will.
I am now in Italy: the north most part. Robert and I drove here today, making one brief stop in Innsbruck, Austria.
I only stayed with the Mandls in Mallersdorf for one night. Robert came the next day and I stayed with him. I did not like leaving Mallersdorf. I love it there. For whatever reason it feels safe and secure to me. It welcomes me; the Mandls welcome me. They are so kind and really treat me in many ways like a son. It is nice to have that, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable because of my language barrier or because I do not know what to talk to them about.
We drove though the Alps, and are really still in them, but we are in the southern part and the weather is much nicer now. It was warm and sunny--well, compared to Mallersdorf, Germany. I stayed last night with Robert and Diana and I slept on their floor. We went to dinner at a Greek restaurant and I am afraid that I did not really get something Greek. It was good, but a bit American. We then went back to their apartment and went to bed, so that we could get up early, at 5:00 AM.
Robert also showed me the place where he is going to build his house. It will be very nice. Today, Diana was going to try to change my ticket back to the U.S., so that I could stay longer. I think the second week in April I will go back, I hope. Anyway, I need more time to see more of Italy, Switzerland, and also Paris. I should write an e-mail to the woman I met in London and let her know what is going on. I need to see also if Roberta or Barbara wrote me back. It has been three days since I checked.
I have just left Bozen. When I first boarded the train in Frankfurt, the porter stamped my Eurail pass with the wrong date. His stamp was wrong, but I did not notice that. Then, as I left Munich, someone else stamped my ticket again. The pass allows me a certain number of days travel on the train, as far as I want to go. So, my trip to Mallersdorf cost me two days. I pointed it out to the second porter, and when he realize that my ticket was not valid on the day of the first stamp apologized, but could not do anything. He suggested that I ask someone about it.
I asked the woman behind the counter in Bozen about whether or not I could get my ticket fixed, and she said no, that it was a “German” mistake. I was really mad, but not emotional. I was mad in principle. I am on the train headed for Rome, lucky that my seat has not been taking from me by someone who reserved it. There are many more people on this train than there are seats.
Bozen was a nice little Alpine town. It had a university, and it was funny that the people who might be considered “commoners” all speak German, while the students spoke Italian. I think that there were two different schools (not at the University though) for students who spoke German vs. Italian.
Robert dropped me off at the train station after we went to the museum to see the ice mummy. I am feeling excitement, mixed with fear. I do not want to get robbed again. I am afraid of not having anything, even though I tried to make sure that would not happen. I took 250 Euros from the bank and only put 30 of that in my wallet. The rest is in my belt, that I keep inside my pants. Still, I would hate to lose this wallet, being that I just bought it. I think I know what to look for now, but I am still afraid that I will once again be “taken”.
I have not had a chance to check my e-mail since Cologne and I do not know if Roberta or Barbara wrote back. I may have to stay in a hostel tonight, and then perhaps I can contact them tomorrow. I will have to see. I hope to see them again, especially Roberta. She was really sweet and kind. Plus it is always nice to have someone show you around.
I just finished the book by C.S. Lewis that Stephen gave me, Surprised by Joy. I liked most of it, but the last part escaped me. I just could not understand he point of view or the experiences he was trying to describe. I was actually glad to read something not by Dickens; it read pretty quickly. The intended result, by Stephen, however, was not accomplished. I feel just the same, and I lack still and understanding of what Joy is. It is obviously something people think they know, and enough for people to give their lives for, but it escapes me wholly. I only know contentment, that exists for brief moments, but that is always surrounded by a sadness that causes me to cry my eyes out. Even now, it is behind me, lurking, waiting to strike ad reveal an infinite pain which I cannot escape or bear. It has been pushed back by my adventures, but I know it is there. It will always be there.
* * *
Well, it looks like I have to go home soon. That sucks. I really want to spend more time here, but tickets are going up and I cannot change the ticket I bought. It was too cheap. I am really annoyed by this. I have barely used my Eurail pass and I want to see more, but I am in a tight spot. I do not want to waste that money that I paid, but I also do not want to have to pay a lot more to get back home. That really stinks. I figured that they would charge me a little more, but that I could change the ticket. Now I do not know what to do. Ah shit! I think I have to go back to Mallersdorf tomorrow night.
I woke up yesterday fully intending to go home on Thursday. I put my stuff in a locker in the train station--actually I had to check it in--I decided to do Rome in one day, and then I would take the night train back to Munich. Then, during the day, I was really taken aback by how much there is to see and I much I want to see more. I mean, I think I covered Rome, as a tourist pretty well, but the world has so much more to offer and I wanted to spend more time in Europe. I also wanted to spend more time with the Mandls. So, I decided, after calling Robert, to stay. At that point, I had changed my mind and was going to come back. He found a cheap ticket for me though, so I again decided to stay.
Last night I took the train from Rome to Naples. It was 40 minutes late and arrived 15 minutes later than that. So, I got there after midnight ad the Metro was not running. I had to find a place to stay. After a somewhat harrowing time talking with cab drivers, and other people at the train station, I did find a Pension for 30 Euros. I did not want to stay there at first, but I just could not find anything else. I needed a room, and that was all I could get. This morning, I spent some time finding the youth hostel and then walked around. I actually got lucky. I mixed up the name of the Metro Station I needed to get off at to go to the hostel, but the train line I found went to the right station. So while I thought I was at the wrong station (in terms of the name), I was at the right one (because the hostel was there). However, when I walked to the one I thought I was supposed to go to because it was the right name (or so I thought) and could not find the Hostel, I realized my mistake. Thank God it was that way and not the other. Otherwise I might never have found the youth hostel, as it is nowhere near the station I thought I was supposed to get off at. Anyway, I really saw Naples today and tomorrow I am going to visit the volcano and Pompeii, I hope. If I cannot do it in one day, I will stay another night. At 14 Euros a night, I cannot afford not to stay.
* * *
Here are my impressions of Italy, or rather Rome and Naples. People here are pretty rude. I guess it is the hurry of the big city; you snooze you lose. People have cut in line in front of me, have not stopped to let me pass in the street, and they all drive like maniacs. People today were zooming down narrow streets in spite of the fact that there was hardly any room and that they were filled with people walking. The scooters are even worse. They do not always obey traffic signals and always try to use their small size to get ahead. The other drivers almost give them the right of way, like they are supposed to do it. I often say thank you to people and get no response.
There were, however two example of the opposite behavior. A man in the street stopped before a pile of garbage to let me go first. Plus there was the man at the wrong Metro station. He told me how to get back to the right one as best as could without English. He showed me the way, and did it out of kindness. On a side note, I saw a very beautiful girl on the train today. Her eyes were big and brown. I mean truly big. She really looked at me once, and I was afraid to look back. She had kindness in her eyes mixed with a little mischief. I trembled, literally, when she looked in my eyes.
There are coffee bars everywhere, and they are as good, if not better, than Starbucks. That company will never find its way into Italy. You go to the coffee bars and are not expected to stay long. Most people get their small shots of espresso, like a teaspoon full of medicine, and then they go away. I have been drinking cafe latte, which is really good. It is cheaper than what I am used to, but also smaller. The latte is about 8 ounces. Still for one Euro, it is not bad.
My feet are really sore from all the walking I have been doing. I walked all day yesterday and today. I went up to the Sant Elmo castle today and looked around. It is the highest point in Naples and I was able to see for miles. The city is spread out like Los Angeles, but much smaller and much more colorful. I was glad I paid the one Euro toll to get in.
One thing that really scared me when I got here last night: I was talking to a guy who drove a taxi and while I was talking to him, three other guys came up to me to ask me if I needed a taxi. I just said not and walked away, even thought I wanted someone to take me to the youth hostel. It would have cost me less, as he was charging only 10 Euros to bring me here, but I was not sure it was open.
I guess that is all I have to write; well, one of the reasons that I wanted to come back was that I started feeling alone again. I felt like what I am seeing might be more enjoyable with someone else. If I could share the experience with someone, a girlfriend, it might be a better experience. Then I realized that I cannot be sure that I will ever have a girlfriend while will want to do this, if I ever have on at all. Though thought is depressing, but a reality. So, I figured I would enjoy it on my own: something that is a reality, that I know is possible.
Yesterday I went to Pompeii. I was trying to go to Mount Vesuvius, but ended up going to a much smaller inactive volcano. It basically smelled and there were some steam geysers. I had a hard time finding it, because the tour guide told me to go the wrong way. The dumb thing is that I was almost there when I realized that I had gone the opposite way of the way I was told to go. Then I walked back. I asked a girl how to get there and she told me and I went.
After that I took the Metro to the main station and then I took a train to Pompeii. I went in and stayed until it closed. It must have been a booming a metropolis in its day. I could see the Roman and Egyptian influence on the architecture. I went inside many of the buildings and looked around at the details. I also tried to imagine what life was like for these people. I remembered the stories my uncle told me about Pompeii. I think that some of the bodies were brought to Arizona when I was a kid. I got home yesterday exhausted. I had a dinner of sandwiches and of cookies and cakes that I bought in a grocery store, and laid down. I though I would get back up and go out, but it did not happen. I went to like at like 9:00 PM and slept pretty well.
I am supposed to be flying back tonight from London in a couple of hours. That is not going to happen. I learned about Italian timing and work ethics today. I got to Pompeii today to go to Mt. Vesuvius and waited for the bus. I tried to ask yesterday to get a good idea about how to proceed about getting there and all the people I talked to (tourists) told me that people approached them outside the train station. I had no such luck. . .
Today is the first day of my uncertainty. I am not sure when or how I will get home. I think I can easily, but I am not sure. I had to stop writing yesterday because I went out with the Czech guy and then we met two girls: one from Italy and one from Costa Rica. We went out to eat dinner and then had ice-cream, and finally went to see the castle in the center of town. We got home about midnight and I went straight to bed. We had wine at dinner with a 10.5% alcohol content and that made me really tired. This morning, I first wok up at 6:30, I think, to see the sun rising through the window. The sky was red and purple and I could see the silhouette of Mt. Vesuvius in the distance. It was really beautiful. But I went back to sleep and slept very lightly after that.
* * *
Back to yesterday: when I could not find a bus outside the train station, I went to the tourist information office. The man inside gave me specific information and a time sheet. When I got there, I saw no sign or any other indication that a bus would stop at that spot. There were, however some people waiting: Americans. Then two Germans (a man and his son) came over. that was just before 10 AM. The Americans had been waiting since 9 AM. We sat there waiting until 11:30. The bus was scheduled to come at 10 and 11:20. When we asked to be sure, everyone told us something different. No one knew and they all gave us a different version of what was happening. It was aggravating. Finally, though, as we were ready to get a taxi or something, the bus showed up.
It took us to another spot to pick up more people before taking us to a roadside tourist stand to buy stuff. We stopped there and had a “layover” of thirty minutes until we could go up to the mountain. It was a big scam. Finally, though, we were brought to the mountain. That was nice. It was a rough climb, but I did it well. My breath was not too short and I really made good time. I was not surprised though, as I have been working out. I walked around and looked at it from as many angles as possible and wondered what would happen if it exploded again. I do not know, but I doubted that we would live. When the bus came to pick us up, he did not drop us off at the same spot. We had to walk about 1 3/4 miles to the spot where he picked us up. It was bad, not really. My feet were not sore and it was a nice walk. Plus I got to talk more to the German guy.
The only thing that spoiled my time at the volcano was that I had to pee so bad and that the wind really kicked up and was blowing dust around and made it cold. There were, however, two young women from New York who wanted to see both the volcano and Pompeii in the same day and realized that they could not. They got really moody and started whining and when they got on the bus one said, “Oh yay. Italy. We love Italy.” I mean, I understand the frustration, but we were all feeling it and knowing we could do nothing, just went for the ride. It is the best way to travel. As one English girl said, “Shit happens!” You have to deal with it.
* * *
Now I am on the train to Florence and 3-4 guys have tried to sell me stuff. One of two were selling snacks, water, etc. One wanted to sell me CDs and the last wanted to sell me jewelry. This place is wild. People just get on the trains and try to sell stuff to people. They do not have any official trolleys on the train that sell stuff, so I guess they can make a living. One other guy was begging. Crime must be horrible here. In Rome, I noticed in the place where I stayed, that ALL the mailboxes had been broken open. Cars have a “club” which is a round disk that fits over the entire steering wheel, which a huge lock on it, and bars that sit on the dash board.
I am spending too much money, I think, but I have been trying to eat cheaply (except for the last night, which was 12 Euros after everything). That was not bad, but I could have eaten three or four meals of sandwiches for that. I would have been better off if the breakfast at the hostel was better. I cannot expect the best for the price. I need to check my balance on-line and see how I am doing.
I have noticed that service here is not so great either. In the first tourist information office I went to, the woman was on the phone for 10 minutes before she got to me and then said, “I don’t know. Go to Geribaldi Station and ask there.” I could not believe it. So I was not quite as surprised yesterday.
The gas stations here are a trip. They are often a roadside pull out with only two pumps. It seemed wild to me. Also I noticed that on the subway, if I walked to the very front of very back for the train (depending upon the direction) I could usually not get squeezed in by so many people. The people here are too lazy to walk that far. During rush hour it is different, I think, but normally I am better off taking the time to walk as far away from the subway entrance as possible. Well, one other guy just asked me for one Euro to supplement his ticket to Rome. I just have to say no. I am sure it was a scam. Well, I have about 5 hours on this train. I bought myself a ticket because it was only 32 Euros. My Eurail pass is worth like 58 Euros per trip. I will use it more in Switzerland and France. I know those tickets will be more costly. I did not hear anything about an Air Canada plane crash, so perhaps everything is a mere design invented by the Matrix: I mean my silly thoughts about there being a “reason” I stayed. Everybody falls the first time.
So, anyway, yesterday was a relaxing day, mostly and it gave my feet a rest. I think after Florence I am going to Venice, then Verona, then France. I have to call Robert and find out about my ticket. I also did not check my e-mail in Naples. I am so far enjoying myself, but Italy is disappointing. It looks beautiful from a distance, but the streets are dirty and nothing is great, except perhaps the food.
I am now in Florence and on my way to Pisa for the day. I was thinking about the advice that the Czech guy gave me and I thought I would write it down. It is kind of funny. He taught me how to cross the street in Italy. Just start going, but walk really slowly. Don’t wait for a break all the way across. You will never get one. Instead, just start walking slowly and people will mover for you or stop. (Actually I remember seeing a Dog do this my first or second day in Naples.)
The second thing he told me was how to get into a social group. Every day that he was in Naples, he went to the same restaurant to eat dinner and the same bar to have a couple of drinks: every single day. After the third week, the manager (owner) of the restaurant would greet him warmly by name, and come out of the kitchen if he were not already. Everyone knew him there. He had already made friends and was able to see and talk to the same people every day.
Florence is by far the nicest city that I have visited in Italy. It is not so crowded, or industrial like Naples and Rome. It had a beautiful surrounding landscape. I stood at Michael Angelo’s lookout yesterday and saw the whole city at once. It is much more like a northern European city. I just walked around, both on Friday when I got here and on Saturday. I saw the statue of David my first night ad I was impressed by its size. He is twelve feet tall. I also though about why he was not circumcised. Perhaps Michael Angelo had no reference point. The Piazza where it stands has so many other statues that are equally impressive. Although I was thinking about Ruskin’s argument about turning a man into a machine, and robbing him of his brain. I do not think that was true of the statue carvers, but I do think it was true of the quarry men who cut stones and shaped them for pillars and banisters.
My first night in the hostel in Florence was not so great. I have been going to bed early, and the guys who were in my room came in late and made a huge amount of noise. Then in the morning, two of them had alarms and did not wake up for like ten minutes. I had to listen to it until they finally turn them off. It was aggravating. Last night, I slept much better.
On the first day, when I had just arrived in Florence, I was waiting for the bus to the youth hostel. I started talking to another girl who was also waiting. During the bus ride it was really crowded at times. Well, she got robbed. One of the women had reached into her purse (unzipping it first) and took her wallet. It was a pretty thin purse that hung at her waist, but still, she got her wallet stolen. She was lucky that she only had 30 Euros in it, but I felt bad for her. She was a nice girl and I know how it feels to be robbed. So far, my caution has paid off. I often keep my wallet in my front pocket and often I keep my and on it. The money belt is so well placed that I do not worry about it.
Last night I washed my socks in the sink in the bathroom: my thick socks. They were pretty smelly and I had not worn them for a while. I wanted to, though, because I got a couple of blisters the last two days. Nothing too exciting has happened. Yesterday, I wanted to send home my rent check for April. I could not find an envelope to save my life. So, I finally bought a stationary set at a vendor. It has the two finger touching as painted by Michael Angelo. I used that to send my check home and then I wrote Chance a letter. It cost the same to send letters and post cards. I was surprised by this.
I am in Verona today, waiting for the train to take me to Venice. This morning I met a homeless guy from Romania who is traveling around playing his guitar for money in the streets. I asked him some questions and he travels mostly by train. I said that the slow trains rarely have a controller on them, and he said that he prefers the fast ones. The can only throw you off at a stop and the stops on the fast trains are usually 150 kilometers apart. The slow ones are much shorter distances. That made sense to me. I never thought about it that way before.
There is a strike today, so the ticket I bought is not good for the train I can ride. I hope I will not get in trouble. I may have to pay extra.
Yesterday, I got here and waited for the bus to take me to the hostel. My phone card works, so I am not sure what happened at the Internet station I tried to use it. I mean a German family and we got to talking. The wife was amazed when I told her that I was from Arizona. The husband (Uwe) said that I spoke without an accent. That made my evening. They are from Kiel and flew here with Ryan Air.
The hostel here is nice, built out of a little villa. I stayed in a separate house with 7 others. One guy below me never cam in last night. I called him Mr. Howell, because he brought his own pillow (quite nice looking) and a bath robe. But I never met him.
I did a good walk through Verona yesterday. I had written a letter to the Echols and wanted to mail it. At “Juliet’s Balcony” I picked up some post cards and then thought I should send one to Mary Anne Burgoyne. I did that after finding a post office. I think she will think that it is really “cool,” as she often says. I saw “Juliet’s Tomb” as well, and found most of the sights in my guide book. I went out again last night and found all but one. I looked at the map on the hostel wall and found it this morning. It was a half an hour walk to the train station this morning.
On Sunday I made the trip to Pisa. There was not too much to do there, so I sat in the grass next to the tower for a while, bought two T-shirts, and had a few café lattes. I came back early and had a very leisurely night, checking my e-mail and going to bed early. The next day, when I was checking out, I met the girl who had been robbed. When we were on the bus going to the hostel, someone who was crammed into the bus with us took this girl’s wallet out of her purse. She had a slim purse that she kept at her waste, and someone opened it up and took her walled and then zipped it back up. She was okay, but now kept everything in her money belt. Her lesson was not as costly as mine. She only lost 25 dollars. It was a good thing, however, as the hostel people had put my membership card with hers. They could not find mine, so I said, “Maybe it was with the girl’s who was just here.” So it was. I did not even know her name. I would have been in trouble otherwise. Sometimes I do have luck.
Well, I guess my life has not been too exciting lately, so I am going to quit now and wait for the train. I have 8 minutes left.
Venice is a really nice city. I had to take a boar from the train station to my hostel, and I just thought to myself, ‘This is the coolest public transportation that I have ever taken.’ It is really neat the way that the “streets” are water. It is a crazy city though. I got horribly lost today, looking to find my way back. I had one of the tourist maps of the city, and it was just not detailed enough to find my way through the maze of tiny walkways and sidewalks. Half of the streets were just not listed and many of the streets bear no names. If you generally know where you are going, and generally follow the map, you will generally get where you are going. Once you lose a feel for where you generally are, you are screwed. I did find my way to the train station by mistake, and from there rather than getting on the board, I tried to find my way on my own. I finally made it, but felt like crying, laughing and screaming more than once. I was freak out, thinking that I would not be able to find my way to the one side of the “island” in time to get the boat out to this other “island”.
I just talked to an English guy and mentioned that I thought the city reminded me of London before the great fire. He agreed. He also told me that the city was built on woods, piles of wood set into the ocean. When you see the weight of many of these structures, it is no wonder there are problems. Venice might me the next Atlantis. I was thinking that I should sent Amy Robinson a post card too. I found a post office today, but it was closed already. They close at 3 PM. I do not know if I will be able to find one tomorrow. I might buy a “real” map. Well, in any case, I leave tomorrow night. The train to nice goes though Munich, and I thought I might as well stop in Mallersdorf and do some laundry and clean myself up a bit, or rather rest up a bit. I could use one or two days in Mallersdorf. Plus I could give Robert his wine and Espresso. I think it will be best. I am just feeling a little worn. I think I am getting a sun burn and this morning I peeled off a red piece (black-red) of skin from my temple. My left thigh is also really dry just under my cheek. Enough about my body.
I am underway again, this time to Zürich, after spending time in Germany with Robert and Diana. I went back to Mallersdorf for the morning and then Robert came and picked me up. It was good, as I took a nap to rest from the train ride. I got a sleeping car, and thank to the Italian lack of diligence, did not have to pay to go through Austria. I did not sleep very well in the sleeping car. There were five other people in there and it was a bit crowded. Actually in the beginning I was in the wrong car. The train split up and I need to be in the front, not in the back.
It turns out the at the train to Nice, which I thought went to Munich, then Zürich and then to Nice, actually split into three trains each to a separate destination. That is okay though. I do not regret my decision to go back to Germany for a couple of days. It was, however, not very restful as we went out a lot and as I had to get up early on Friday so that I could to Regensburg for the day; Saturday to go back to Regensburg (it was early considering when I went to bed); and Sunday to go have brunch. Today, I again had to get up early, so I could go with Diana to Regensburg to get the train to Munich and then to Zürich. I asked about them changing the number of days on my ticket, and they said no, they could not correct the mistake. I was pretty aggravated. But in an amazing mistake, the porters have not looked closely at my ticket today (two of them) and I have not had to use another day. I did, though, have to pay to go through Austria. I did not know that the train went through Austria.
In Regensburg, I bought some books and I bought two DVDs: raising Arizona and Edward Scissorhands. They are not German films, but they are good ones that I could show my classes in a pinch. Most of the German films are not suitable for my classes. Too bad! I also bought the second season of “Die Simpsons” on DVD. Now I really have to get a no region DVD player. I think in the meantime, I may just by a DVD drive for my computer, or use my dad’s.
I was feeling pretty alone with Robert. On Saturday night we went out and met Stefan. He had a girlfriend and, of course, Robert has Diana. I also had a very hard time following their conversations and so I was pretty quiet. Having not seen Stefan for 5 years, or really talked with him, I did not have much to say.
On Sunday at brunch, we met a friend of Diana’s and her husband/boyfriend and again, I was feeling like a fifth wheel and having, again, a hard time keeping up with the conversation. I mostly stared at the television, which was an amazingly stupid program: some hip hop music awards.
Today, I did not make it to Munich in time to the early train, so I left my backpack in a locker and I walked though the city. I bought more books and then got some bananas and pastry. I could not find the Calvin and Hobbes in German, nor the Simpson comic books in German. I will keep looking.
I am feeling a bit sick today. The “pimples” that keep growing in my nose are worrying me. They are occurring so often and cause such a swelling, that I wonder that it might be something else. Today the one has swollen so that my upper lip is hurting. My thyroid gland is also swollen. I hope I am not sick in Switzerland or France. Who knows? I bought a book about Switzerland and I am going to look through it more now.
I am in Zürich, but not for long. Last night, at the youth hostel, I learned that it is fully booked for tonight. Originally, I was thinking that I might stay at the hostel on the Rheinfall. But, after going there, I wandered around for a couple of hours and decided to press on. It was a truly amazing place. If I wanted a place to just relax and enjoy slowing down, this would have been the place. I am feeling sick and so I half wanted to stay a few days. But, I also used another day on my train ticket (hoping I would not have to use it, that they would not even check it), and so I thought I better get the full value out of it. So, I caught a train back to a larger town and then another back to Zürich.
The Rheinfall was a wonderful place. Even though the fall only drops 23 meters, it has an awesome power. Sitting on the platform, watching the water rush by, I could almost feel the power. The noise was loud, but soothing. When I went to the first lower platform, there was a mist being sprayed into the air and I could see a rainbow. For the first time in my life, I saw where the rainbow ended.
This was another one of those places where, if a person believed in God, that person would see him there. The power of the water was so tremendous, yet so good, so beautiful. The beauty of the place was overpowering. I was nearly brought to tears. I was thinking about how this is one of the few times we see in nature that power is not able to be corrupted. The water thundering over the rocks can do no evil. It simply is. One of the platforms was built over a part of the falls. When you look down, and watch the water roar by, you can trick yourself into believing that the water is still and that you are rushing by. I was just thinking that I understand better now why the poets sought solace in nature. Perhaps I should try reading “Tinturn Abbey” again with these feelings in mind.
Zürich was not too interesting. It is a typical European city, only more expensive. The lake is nice, but I was not too sad at only being able to stay at the hostel one night. I am now headed for Sion, a small town in a valley that looked really pretty in the book I bought. It is also closer to the Matterhorn. I will probably stay two nights and visit the Matterhorn tomorrow. I want to visit Lusanne, but I am pushing myself for time. I need/want to be back in Germany next Tuesday. I fly back to Arizona next Friday. I hate to admit it, but I think I am ready to go home. I want to slow down a little, and I have not done that yet. I was hoping to do that with Robert, but it did not happen: we went out too much.
On the train back to Zürich a young girl lit up a joint, and I started feeling sick to my stomach. I was surprised by her audacity, but perhaps it is legal here. Judging from the tourist pamphlet I got in the youth hostel in Zürich, prostitution is legal. There were lots of ads for escort services, one company called “The Joy of Sex.”
I will be passing through Lusanne today, so I will get to see if I really want to stay there. It is hard to judge from a train, but maybe it will give me an idea. That pretty much covers it for now.
One last thing, the breakfasts here in Switzerland are amazing. I had several good café lattes this morning and ate more than I needed to.
I am now in Sion. I got here late yesterday, at about 6:00 PM. The youth hostel is just around the corner from the train station. The many who runs it is a very kind fatherly type figure. As I was checking in, I heard him struggling to give directions in English to some people and I offered to speak to them. He was grateful for the help and looked at me very kindly from that point. He seems generous. I was worried about getting a bed, but no one is here. I had a room to myself yesterday. I am staying here one more night. It is beautiful. I love going out on the balcony of my room and seeing the mountains, covered in snow, just outside my window. It is amazing.
Last night, after I checked in, I went out to explore the town and ended up climbing a mountain (a small one) to go up to a castle, also called a Chateau, up there. At the top, behind the castle, was a small meadow with trees around the outside and lots of green grass. I thought that it would be the perfect place to have a picnic in the Summer. I could imagine having a large blanket and a basket full of food, some wine, and having a nice lunch, followed by a nap in the warm sun. I said that if the impossible does happen, and if I do get married, I am going to bring my wife for a picnic there for an anniversary.
While I was up there, I met a Swiss girl named Yvonne. She was cute, sweet, soft and sensitive. It turned out that she was staying next door to the hostel and so after talking on the mountain for a while (it was dark before we decided to go down), we walked home together and talked the whole way. She is from Bern, but is living here in Sion, going to school, to study art. She is an artist, and in a way, she is a kindred spirit.
We talked about the abstract, about being human. I shared with her my thoughts about the waterfall and about the cliffs on the Aran Islands. We shared with one another about the aloneness of being human, that no one can know you, can know what is inside you, except you. Of course, she added, that God can.
We also talked about God, and while I was not completely honest with her, I shared with her some of my struggles. She was a little aggravating on one point. She said to me, “you have been healed. You only have to accept it.” Again, I thought back to our earlier conversation, and realized that she cannot understand, because she cannot share my feelings. She does not know how it hurts to be me.
As we said good-bye, and reflected upon the coincidence of our meeting (she has been living in Sion five months and decided only today to climb that mountain) and living next door to one another. She told me that she was blessed by my voice. (Something I had not thought about for a long time, as no one has said that to me in a long time.) I gave her my address and asked her to write me. She hates e-mail, so I did not give her my e-mail address.
I gave her a little hug as we parted and began to think about what life would be like with her. I am just not sure. Still, she was a wonderfully kind girl.
There are moments when I begin to see that god must exist. Moments that seem to show me clearly that something bigger than me is out there. Then, the looking glass that shows me these images is shattered and I am once again surrounded by my nihilist beliefs. I felt that way as I talked about the ultimate incorruptible power I saw in Nature, or the realization that I am alone without god, or when I imagine that this girl was meant to be on that mountain for me to talk to last night. But, really, I am not sure that I will hear from her again, though I would really love to.
Today, I am going to the Matterhorn. It is about 2 hours from Sion. I am looking forward to seeing it. At first, I thought that it was in the middle of Switzerland, but it is actually on the border of Italy. I am using my train ticket again, today, because a round trip would have been more expensive than using my ticket.
I am still feeling sick and I bought more orange juice, though it is extremely expensive here, and I also got some better bread. The swelling in my lip is at its peak (I think) so hopefully it will hurt less tomorrow. I hope. I can hardly touch my nose and I almost could not shave one side of my mustache this morning. Well, that is about it.
I am in France now, after stopping in Geneva. I did not see much of it, but what I saw I did not like. I suppose one would have to get out of the inner city to see what was there. I am on my way to Marseilles. I have found two youth hostels there and I hope to find space in one. I will call from Lyon, where I have an hour layover and see if I can get a bed. Tomorrow, I am going to go to Paris. I will take a later train and get in later at night, but as I have already talked to Martine, that will be fine. She has again agreed (or rather confirmed her position) to let me stay with her a couple of nights. I was lucky to meet her and I will send her a thank-you card as soon as I get home.
Sion was such a great little town. I really enjoyed myself there. The landscape is so spectacular. Yesterday, after traveling to Zermatt to see the Matterhorn, I took a walk near the river and almost got lost. Still, it was nice to sit there for a while, watching the river and seeing the mountains.
My trip yesterday was a little aggravating because my ticket was not valid on the train to Zermatt, the glacier express. So, I used up almost all my cash paying for the train ticket. It was okay though, because I don’t need it anymore. Switzerland decided not to use the Euro, so I can only use the Swiss Francs here. I used the rest of my Swiss Francs to buy some orange juice and two post cards. I also bought a shirt for Zach in Zermatt and paid for my room with my credit card. I was able to use Euros today, however to make a phone call and use the Internet. I did some hiking in Zermatt, even though I was feeling sick. It was a beautiful place and I enjoyed it. I was sweating profusely and my head really hurts today. I stayed there a couple of hours and I got the impression that in the mountainous regions, there are German-speaking people, while in the Valleys there are more French-speaking people. I have met very few Italian-speakers. It is funny how the language priorities change between French and German on the trains.
Still, the man’s son from the youth hostel did not speak German and only a little English. I was surprised, but not much. I was hoping to make a reservation at the hostel in Marseilles, but it was not enough notice. If there is no room tonight, I may be in trouble. We shall see. I am really feeling queasy right now. I may have the flu. Considering the hot flashes and chills, it seems likely. Plus, my nose has not stopped swelling and the place inside is bloody.
I was thinking about Yvonne yesterday, hoping to see her again, but it did not happen. I do not know that I every will. Still, it was nice to know her and share what I said to her about enjoying the challenge of putting into words that which is indescribable. I was thinking that I might try with my own feeling soon. I feel too lousy to do it now. That is all.
I am in Marseilles right now at the beach. It is a nice beach; the water has that slight green tint which is often associated with beautiful beaches, but it is not fantastic. The landscape is, of course, very much like Spain and Italy. It is better cared for, generally, and in that way is much nicer. George had told me once that the beaches in the South of France are fantastic. Perhaps he meant somewhere further down the coast. Had I done my homework, I might be at one now. But, I don’t mind. This is just the way I travel, by instinct, not by planning. It works out well sometimes, poorly others.
Last night I bought some aspirin at a pharmacy, and I feel so much better today. These aspirin pills were, however, different from what I can buy in the states. They are effervescent, like Alka-Seltzer. They also contain Vitamin C. I had an idea that they were like that, but I also thought that maybe I was just supposed to chew them. Not wanting to make a mistake, I asked the woman at the desk at the youth hostel. I looked at the instructions that cam with them, but they were only in French. I felt like Homer Simpson, when he was building his barbecue pit and had to read the French instructions because the English had gotten too dirty. He looks at them and says, “Le Grille, Le Grille, what the hell is Le Grille?” It made me laugh to myself.
I also had to laugh at my complete inability to pronounce French. I was looking at an exit sign, which is spelled sortie. I would probably pronounce it “sorty,” and while I do now know how to pronounce it, if I said “sorty” to someone, they would not know what I was saying. That made me laugh too, even though it hurt to do so.
I was supposed to call Martine yesterday, but I could not because the phone at the youth hostel is broken. I also do not have a phone card for France. I really need to get one. I will leave her a message ad I think I am going to try to get to Paris by 8:00 PM tonight. She should be home by then ad she can give me some hints and tips. I think that about covers today.
I am on the train now from Marseilles to Paris. It is the TGV train, which can travel at nearly 200 miles per hour, I think. The trip will only take about 3 hours and 15 minutes. Trees, electricity poles, and any thing nearby, whips past me in milliseconds. The landscape changes rapidly and we pass through tunnels in a matter of seconds. It is amazing. I keep thinking that Arizona needs something like this. Of course with the war, no one will be glad to have the French come over and help design something like this.
I only had to pay three Euros extra with my Eurail pass. I figured it would be closer to thirty Euros. The weather had been cool and cloudy most of the day in Marseilles, but as I was leaving, the sun cam out. I stopped earlier to dip my feet in the water and it was numbingly cold I was surprised that some people were swimming in it. I had thought about swimming myself, but feared for my wallet or other stuff getting stolen.
Someone did open the pocket in my backpack today, but as there is nothing of value in it, nothing got taken. I think it was two kids, one walking slowly in front of me, while the other was behind me. The one in front moved in my way. When I tried to get around him, and when I finally did, they followed me. Still, nothing lost. I was glad of that.
I am writing this in the proverbial shadow of the Eiffel Tower. It is an amazing thing to behold. I saw it yesterday, but with all the times I have seen it as a symbol of Paris, I had to come back, to feel like I am in Paris. I really walked a lot yesterday. Martine took me on something of a tour of the old city, the Louver and some nice parks. After that, she left me at Notre Dame and I walked to the tower, past it to the Triumph Arch, and then back to the museum of modern art, because I was interested in some T-shirts there. They were only five Euros per shirt if I bought three. So I bought one for me and two for Chance, thought I am not sure now about it, as I got only two presents for the boys, and for her, actually six.
I am feeling a bit tired and could really go for a cappuccino or some other strong coffee. Today, I walked (after taking the Metro) up to the highest point in Paris. There is a big church there and it was full of touristy people. There was a service going on in the church and I thought, ‘how can these people stand all these tourists coming in while they are trying to worship?’ I almost bought some coffee around there, but it was too expensive. There is also a haze of the city, and my view was not very good. I could hardly make out the tower through the haze.
Near there is the Moulin Rouge, and a very seedy part of Paris, with many sex shops, strip clubs and adult video stores. It was okay seeing it, but it did make me realize how alone I am. I mean, there are couples everywhere and if I wanted any kind of sexual experience, I would have to pay.
There are a couple of nice looking foreign girls trying to take their pictures in front of the tower. Well, they were. They left now. I was wishing that I knew their language, but I doubt it would have made much of a difference. I am a stranger in the world. Someone that is alone and can find no soul mate. I keep thinking about the lyrics from a Sixpence None the Richer song. It goes, “My heart could not take anymore. Am I that easy to ignore?” I often wonder about that, why I am always overlooked by good women.
The place I went this morning was very touristy. I think that it is the one spot not regulated. There were tons of people wanted to draw your portrait, or sell you something. I saw several T-shirt shops and souvenir stores. Well, I think I am going to press on and visit a more modern part of the city. I will probably spend some time at the Louver tomorrow and then I think I will go back to Germany on Tuesday. I might make a stop in Strasbourg. I have to see how long it would take. There is a night train to Munich, but then I would miss Strasbourg. Decisions, decisions. Well, I realize that this will not be my last time in Europe, so I am not too worried about seeing everything. I know I cannot.
I am on the strain to Strasbourg. I will probably spend a few hours there and then head back to Munich. I will be back at Robert’s tonight.
Yesterday I spend much of the day at the Louver. It was a pretty amazing place. A person would really need weeks to see it well. It can be mentally tiring to take in so much at once. I enjoyed the painting and even wanted to try to get a poster of one, but they only had posters of the famous ones. I will look on the net though, and see if I can find something.
At the Louver, I wanted to find a post office to send post cards. To my belated amazement, the postal service guy behind the counter told me that it would be better to send them in envelopes. I had already bought the postage paid envelopes when I thought about how stupid that was. Still, not wanting to make a fuss, I just addressed the envelopes and sent them that way. I felt pretty stupid sending post cards in envelopes. Of course, it took a while to find the post office, because it was in the corridor, with the door that was supposed to be open, but was not. There is a shopping center in the Louver. One can get into the museum from the shopping center or through the main entrance. There is a large metal door that blocks the way. Normally it is up and allows people to pass, but it was broken today and was down. I thought the post office was on the museum side, but it was on the mall side of the door. So after finding my way to the wrong side of it, I had to find my way back. I was pretty frustrated, after all was said and done.
I then proceeded to walk though the city some more seeing Bastille Plaza and Nation. I found a grocery store and bought some food for the trip back to Germany. I was pretty free with my money in Paris, knowing that I am going home in a few days. Still, I now have only fifty-five Euros left and I would rather not have to take more money out of the bank. I also bought a bottle of French wine to bring back for Robert and Diana. I paid a lot hoping it would be really good. I honestly know nothing about wines.
I had to get up pretty early today to get to the train station on time and I could honestly use some coffee. I had to say good-bye to Martine last night because she was going to get up later.
Well, the last time I wrote, I kind of censored myself, but I want to express what I have been feeling regardless of what anyone who may read this would think. I have been very tempted, during my travels to find a nice brothel and partake: not because I lack sexual fulfillment, though I do lack that, however small that desire it, but because I lack love. I lack touch, caresses, kisses and fondness. These are the desires I would seek to fulfill in going to a brothel. Of course, I know that fulfillment of those desires with lead to an increase in my sexual desires and I likely would have sex. It would, however, not be my immediate intention. When I wrote of having a sexual experience, it was to this that I was referring. I am not sure that anyone else would quite understand. It seems a bit odd, for sure. But when a man spends as much time alone as I have (I mean years without dating, girlfriends, etc.) he begins to feel that something is necessary to fulfill the deepest, most heart wrenching desires of his soul. Since he cannot find love, he must create it. I always wonder how the prostitute would feel after an experience like I am pondering. Perhaps more men do it than I believe, but I have never really heard of such a thing.
The train is nearing Strasbourg, so I should end this here.
I am back on American Soil, after 7 weeks in Europe. I can hardly believe that I am back, in Philadelphia, anyway. While I am still half in my German mode, it will quickly pass. I sat next to a cute German girl on the plane: Christine Somethingorother. We spoke German together and I also watched Der Herr Der Ring auf Deutsch. Of course, I have been reading Die Outsider auf Deutsch too. I switched the money in my wallet and retrieved my American coins from my backpack. I have lots of European money, but it was okay, because yesterday I found 10 Euros on the grass as I was walking in Regensburg. It is funny, because it was not automatic recognition, like with U.S. Money. I really had to look at the bill for a long time before I figured out that it was money. I looked, at first, like a piece of trash. The longer I focused on it the more I recognized it as money. I was surprised to have found it and I will admit that I was looking hard for more thereafter. So, anyway, I decided to bring back some Euros to have.
I did not sleep well last night. I only got 3 hours at most and then my nerves kept me from sleeping any more. I got up after a few hours of just watching television and finally packed everything and got ready to go. I had to leave early with Diana, so that I could go the Regensburg main train station and catch a train to the Airport. I had to wait in the Munich airport and as of now, I have been up for 18 hours. It will be much longer before I get home.
The last few days, I spent trying to collect last minute things. I bought movies in German, several Calvin and Hobbes, as well as Simpsons books. In addition I bought the 1:18 model Nissan Z for Eric. On Wednesday, I went to school with Robert in the afternoon and helped with his classes. It was a trip, but I am glad I did it. The day was messed up anyway, and then the students took some time to calm down. I answered their questions and gave them some information about Arizona through questioning them. They asked me about the war (the invasion of Iraq) and so I told them what I think, probably not a popular opinion. Thursday I had my last hot meal with Robert’s parents. Mrs. Mandl brought food to Robert’s apartment to cook. I said good-bye to them in Neufahrn in der Neiderbayern because the took me to the station so that I could ride the train to Regensburg.
The time really did go by quickly. I mean, I guess it always does, but each time it surprises me. I was a bit sad to leave and wished I had planned better, but considering my finances, it is best that I come home. I need to start working again. I am really exhausted right now. My neck is killing me. It will be nice to be able to sleep in my bed soon. Tonight I will sleep on Cherry’s floor.
I stink again, in spite of my water consumption. I think I need to get back into my exercise routine, and get back to my diet. I have been eating a lot of carbohydrates lately, but walking enough to burn them off. Still, I want to begin running again and then do my weight lifting again. I am really just writing now, and I think I may stop, as it is not interesting.