A Video Nasty (i.e. a British Slang term for an Adult themed naughty Video Tape) was infected with a genetic virus & some mentally insane nanobots a few million years ago. As soon as one of the crew finds this tape & tries to watch it (shame on him or her BTW), the Video Tape grows to about 1000 times it original size & sprouts spider legs & Octopus Tentacles. The creature then threatens to eat the whole ship. OH SMEG!

Meanwhile to make matters worse two Star Fleets appear (One Rogue Simulant Fleet & One Evolved Rabbit Fleet) and begin fighting each other with Red Dwarf caught in the middle.

War! Chaos! Destruction! Soon the Red Dwarf is overrun by Rogue Simulants & Evolved Rabbits (vicious them Rabbits)! Now the only way the crew can save themselves & Red Dwarf is for one very brave soul (or the least cowardly smeghead among them) to try and talk the Video Nasty Monster into eating both enemy Star Fleets instead. Here is the rub. The Video Nasty refuses to talk to anybody unless they are wearing a Bullwinkle Moose costume with Ruby Slippers...................Fight to the Smeg! Get to the Costume Shop on the Shopping Mall Deck & save your Ship you Gimboids!

-Even ugly Gelf Mutants have feelings.

The Player Characters come across a remote planet inhabited by Evolved Dogs who are building a Temple to the Divine Fire Hydrant. The Dogs (who are now planet bound because they tore up their space ships in order to create the Temple in the first place) hire the crew for a sacred mission. Travel to Moon 55 (orbiting the local Gas Giant) & bring back about a dozen authentic Fire Hydrant artifacts from the ruins located therein. In payment the Dogs will give the player characters the coordinates to the PLANET OF THE HOT WOMEN! However as soon as the characters arrive at Moon 55 they notice the planet is swarmed by Killer Bug Bunny Battle Robots* who are using Cartoon Physics Generators. Now the Players will have to function on a world governed by Cartoon Logic. They must find a dozen fire hydrants while dealing with a bunch of looney Cybernetic Rabbits! Some are helpful, some dangerous, & the rest just plain annoying! Smegging Hell!

After surviving Moon 55 the Characters arrive at the PLANET OF THE HOT WOMEN(i.e. a planet of ALL female, sexy, attractive Bio-Androids). Expecting to find a paradise of uninhibited lovely bikini clad super babes, the crew is shocked to find the planet ravaged by Nuclear War.

Centuries ago an escape pod containing the collective works of Marabel Morgan (ultra-conservative anti-feminist author of the TOTAL WOMAN) & Andrea Dworkin (man hating ultra radical feminist Author & writer) crashed on the planet's surface. The Bikini clad Bio-Androids, having nothing better too do, read the books & immediately divided into two radically opposed factions. The "Real Women" who believed in traditional family values, the woman's place is in the home & wives should simply obey their husbands without question Vs. The "Liberated Wimmin" who believed "wimmen" are oppressed by patriarchy, marriage is a form of institutional slavery & sexism in any form is the ultimate evil. Of course there are no men on this planet to marry or oppress them so the whole conflict is totally stupid. Never the less the whole surface of the planet has be devastated by nuclear & conventional war from the two factions & the crew are now trapped (it seems the planetary defense shield which lied dormant for eons just decided to turn itself on for no smegging reason). The only way they can bring down the Shield is to create a (Use Very Important Item generator) made from spare parts half of which are found in the "Real Women" camp & the other half found in the "Liberated Wimmin" camp.

-All Female Gelf society plans for the future.

QUEER-EYE FOR THE DWARF GUY - At the beginning of the twenty-first century the BRAVO Cable Network had a television show featuring five gay men who spent their days taking slovenly straight male slobs, cleaning them up, making them over, getting them more fashionable clothing & transforming them into well dressed, very cultured metro-sexual sensitive males (think transforming the living Dave Lister into his Hologramatic counterpart from season Seven).

Anyway moving on; the TV show saw a revival in the 25th century & the Fab Five cast was resurrected as wax-droids who plied their skills on the dirty Smegheads of the Galaxy. Million Years later after the extinction of mankind the QUEER EYE Wax-droids have been left alone with an old copy of the New BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DVD & no purpose in life. As time passed the Fab Five have broken their programming & have run amok! They redesigned the Wax-World manufacturing plant to build an army of Cylon Warbots with the latest weapons (plus the color scheme for painting the War-Bot is just to die for!). Their new mission: Offer to give makeovers to the dirty Smeghead slobs of the Universe & or to exterminate those who refuse or willfully embrace unfashionable styles & trends.

Adventure ideas:

The boyz from the Dwarf have been captured by Cylons & taken before the Fab Five who see Lister as the Ultimate makeover Challenge. Can the boyz find a way to escape before the Fab Five make Him give up Curry forever!

The boyz are hired by the REGULAR GUY RESISTENCE ( a band of GELFs, SIMULANTS, MECHANOIDS, HOLOGRAMS & EVOLVED PETS without any sense of fashion who wish to overthrow the Metro-sexual Totalitarian regime) to Assassinate the Fab Five. The Boyz can pose as Fashion consultants looking for work to try and gain the trust of the Fab Five then when they are not looking POW! KER-SPLATE! Sock it to them when they are not looking.

They could put on a Fashion Show for the Fab Five & then when they are not looking turn up the heat & melt them.

The ship's A.I. (a sort of semi-evil Holly) tries to "talk them out of it", but fails and in a final act of spite dumps all the Ship's Curry supplies into space. Though the semi-evil Holly AI opposes the detour, it cannot disobey Lister 's direct orders who punishes him for the curry incident by making him silently read & re-read British Parliamentary speeches 100,000,000 times for about a month.

After a lengthy journey, possible only due to the Stasis devices on board, Lister & the other boyz from the original Dwarf return to the Solar System. Although only hundreds of years have passed on the ship, three million years have elapsed on Earth, due to relativistic time dilation caused by the super massive black hole at the center of the galaxy. At first, Lister and the gang are confused and initially believe they might have come to the wrong system because it has changed considerably; the Sun has evolved into a red giant. It is obvious this early evolution of the sun occured due to the wormhole weapons Earth President Nixon tested on the Sun just like in LAST HUMAN the RD novel. The Red Giant Sun has since swallowed Mercury, blasted off Venus' atmosphere, heated up Mars and Earth is now in orbit around Jupiter covered with an Air Shield like in the move Space Balls. Lister, Kryten and Holly eventually conclude that the solar system has been engineered into this new configuration in order to move the Earth to a habitable distance from the enlarged Sun. Lister puts the ship into orbit around the Earth.

Jupiter space is dominated by the remnants of humanity. The moons of Saturn (whose great rings have dissipated) are controlled by Evolved Cats. The moons of Uranus by Gelfs and Nepture and Pluto by Evolved Dogs.

When Lister lands (in a modified Blue Midget), he is captured by Kris Kon-chan-ski, like him a refugee from the past. She explains that the human species has fragmented; it is dominated by a race of immortal, permanently teenage males (the Boys), who are created by advanced medical techniques. Some time in the past, they had subjugated the equally immortal Teenage Girls, in the ultimate war of the sexes. The Boys have enslaved the dikta, who are unmodified humans (though they have evolved somewhat), from whom they take boys to replenish their Immortal ranks.

They find a starship crewwoman named Arlene Rimmer who had initially been a captive toy of the Girls. After their downfall, she had spent her time obsessively searching in vain for the lost anti-Smeghead treatment formula, while extending her life as much as possible using her own drugs. Because they could not stop the aging process entirely, she is an old crone by the time she finds Lister. He manages to escape from her, only to be caught by the Boys, who take him to a Dikta settlement. With Shelby, the Dikta leader, he escapes once more.

Eventually, Lister discovers the anti-Smeghead treatment & injects it into both Arnold Rimmer & Arlene turning them into Ace Rimmers, albeit by accident and only realizing it after he himself has been exposed to the formula he also become Ace like. Using it to enlist Arlene's help (Holly has decided that she is the last survivor of the State and will only obey her), he plots to wipe out the Boys and enable the Dikta to regain control of their own destiny and then maybe he can get a smeging curry!

After The Bomb

The crew of the Red Dwarf fall threw a Time Hole and land on an alternate Earth a post-apocalyptic setting, centered around the eastern United States, where most of the area is populated by the mutated animals that form the majority of society.

The Apocalypse

Advancements in genetics brought the cost of genetic manipulation down to the point where it became consumer technology. Extensive, widespread experimentation in the creation of Genetically Engineered Life Forms (i.e.Gelfs) resulted in the creation of mutated animals, possessing traits from other animals. Although the creation of Gelf humans was technically illegal, everybody possessed a complete human genome; thus, the law was largely unenforcable, and a small population of humanoid mutant animals slowly accumulated.

The same technology lead to both the elimination of viral disease as a major problem, and the introduction of diseases as pranks. Kids would come to school with a vial of "homebrew" and infect the class as a joke. Because such diseases were easily cured, these pranks were regarded as "harmless".

Eventually, someone came up with a way to concoct an "incurable" disease. A virus was created which possessed an entire copy of a human genome; any cure that targeted the disease would also target the host. Some idiot actually made such a disease, and was probably the first to die because of it.

This disease wiped out 75% of the world's human population.

The virus infected most animals as well, and the animals that survived had human genes spliced in by the virus. These "semi-human" offspring displayed human characteristics in varying degrees.

This would have merely resulted in a mostly mutant-dominated population if the leaders of the world's governments had not made the assumption that the disease was a bio-weapon sent by their enemies. The response from all sides was all-out nuclear warfare that devastated the entire planet.

The game can be assumed to take place a generation or two after this apocolyptic event, which is referred to as "The Crash" or "The Death." The only thing of value on this world is Curry!