Although I will never forget the night
I stood in your doorway noticing
For what I think was the first time
The unbearable desire of bringing
A shocked smile to your lips
Although I will never forget that first drunken night
We talked about poetry
And the way you laughed at me and mocked me
The way that no one else had the guts to
The way you pried your way into my scary head
Tossed things about on the scrap heap
Finally working your way down to
The paper bag I didn't think I could write my way out of
And then the way you smiled
Poking your finger through the bottom of the bag
As if somehow that might help
Although I will never forget the night
I stood in your doorway noticing
The fresh swell of your hips
Under a robe that was
(purposefully I thought)
Far too short
Shortly before I stopped my heart beating by
Trying to bring a sweet shocked smile to your lips
Less shortly before
You turned me away from your door
Although I will never forget the day
This morning
You stood before clergy and exchanged vows
Your eyes still sparkling from last night's booze
Trying to hold your hand still
Enough to receive a ring on the finger
You so long ago poked through my paper bag
It is a damned good thing
You are my best friend's wife
So that you can call me on the phone
To tell me dirty jokes
He needs someone to hang Pez dispensers on the wall
And he and I both need someone to distract us
(when we get too weird for each other)
By making cat sounds in the background
And saying senselessly profound things
In a fever state
While we worry the universe
Into a paper bag with a hole in the bottom of it.
Although I will never forget the night
I stood in your doorway noticing.
And I must warn you never to trust me again
To say things you will smile at
Because I will probably never tell you the truth
Except for this:
The night you turned me away from your door
The sweet, shocked smile I longed for
Was there.
I couldn't help noticing
