The Writer Who Almost Wasn't

An article from Joshua's blog, The Blogginton Post

THURSDAY, 27 FEBRUARY 2014

(*This little piece was my first college writing assignment. I was tasked with relating my history & experiences with writing.*)

As early as I can remember, I’ve been creating stories, whether in the playroom or on paper. Though I was never a big reader, I was always making up and sometimes writing many different fantastical tales that were often above my age level. Unfortunately many psychological and developmental challenges tried to prevent me from taking my writing seriously and it’s been a constant struggle to overcome them, even now.

I grew up in a very close-knit family, made all closer since my mother chose to homeschool me and my sisters from an early grade all the way through high-school. While we weren’t aware of it at the time, this personal, customized learning approach proved very beneficial as me and my sisters all suffer varying degrees of dyslexia which would’ve made public school very difficult for us. While I didn’t have as much trouble learning to read as my sisters, writing was another matter altogether.

Even as a young kid obsessed with “fully articulated” action figures, I would dream up and play out lengthy, complex storylines involving multiple characters who would experience conflict, love, loss, betrayal and eventually, victory. I would often play these stories out with my sisters, each of them acting as free agents within the story and I would (usually) adapt and change my plot on the fly to fit their actions. Unfortunately, as soon as I would go try to write down these stories, I wouldn’t get more than a page or two before getting frustrated and giving up. The stories were there in my head, swirling around as ethereal concepts and ideas but as soon as I tried to transpose them onto a piece of paper in comprehensible, cohesive English, my brain would lock up.

As I grew older, my ability to translate ethereal ideas onto paper gradually improved and I even started writing a few short stories and novels when I was in middle school. My greatest accomplishment around this time was writing a short, children’s picture book (for which I had no pictures). As my ability to write improved however, the quantity, quality and complexity of my stories also improved making writing all the more difficult. I would often only get a few pages or chapters into any one particular idea until my brain would seize up even when I still had much more to write. Despite constant praise for my extra-ordinary creative writing ability I became frustrated with my apparent “gift” due to the constant difficulty I had utilizing it. So I gave up on writing and began experimenting with other hobbies and career paths. Drawing, computer programming and 3D modeling were among the many things I tried. While most of them had a heavy creative slant that I enjoyed, no matter what I tried, I would always come back to writing.

Through and after high school I finally began to pursue writing seriously. I took a few online writing courses and finally managed to finish my first two novels and a screenplay. That’s when I discovered the darker side to writing professionally: marketing. Whether submitting my work to literary agents or publishing houses, I found the whole process slow, boring, confusing and frustrating. After a few false-starts, I finally decided to self-publish my young adult novel and while my success was extremely limited, I did gain some valuable knowledge and experience.

Something somewhat unexpected that came about during the process of writing and self-publishing a novel was my immersion into the World Wide Web. I had begun dabbling in the internet prior but self-publishing really forced me to dive headfirst into the always connected and infinite virtual world. I started networking on social media, cultivating an online presence and discovering what else was out there in the world of fiction & writing. Initially I was focused just on my novel and writing but my online habits and discussions began drifting toward another lifelong passion: video games. I discovered entire communities and websites that talked and wrote solely about “retro” games, something I was especially familiar with never being able to afford the latest and greatest in game consoles. I began writing and posting my thoughts and opinions about games I had played as a kid or had recently discovered through the vast archives of the internet. Writing about video games seemed to come easier to me and soon I had created my own blog and YouTube show/podcast dedicated exclusively to talking about and playing old games. I started taking on writing assignments for other websites and blogs as well, eventually abandoning my own blog due to the upkeep. My online presence and audience continued to grow larger as I joined a couple thriving gaming communities, even making several good friends in the process.

I still fight mental blocks and dyslexia when I write, which often causes me to procrastinate writing in favor of gaming or other less taxing activities. I still enjoy writing though and I am interested to continue pursuing it and seeing where it goes, despite the roadblocks. I still remain undecided whether I want to pursue video game “journalistic” writing or more creative, fiction writing as a full time career. I enjoy both and have much to say, even if it is hard for me to put ethereal thoughts and ideas in to cohesive English.