Musings

It is theoretically possible that indeed, 1000 chickens can pull an oxcart, but it is probably a lot easier to just get an ox.  -unknown

Second Law of Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If a Komodo Dragon discovered particle physics and Jesus, would you have a christian science monitor?

Old girlfriends are rather like shoes. When one no longer fits or starts causing you pain, you go shopping for a new one. The only real differendce  is that your shoes go stink up a landfill somewhere.

If you can't say something nice aboout someone they really must be a bastard!

Thank god for politicians. Otherwise there'd be a whole lot more insects eating their young.

Worlds shortest description of the Scottish Play:
Betrayed by wife and witch, MacBeth Kills Duncan; Takes Throne.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer"  -- Dave Barry

"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!"
-- Tommy Smothers

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages." -- Unknown

"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk I have a work station..."

"Anyone who thinks he or she is indispensable should stick a finger in a bowl of water and notice the hole it leaves when it is pulled out." -- Harvey Mackay

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car." - Bumper sticker

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met." -Steven Wright

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

"If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it." - Scott Adams.

"Minnesota voters played a major role in the victory of that state's gubernatorial primary elections yesterday." - National Rifle Association press release

"The scientific theory I like the best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."  - Mark Russell

"We had an empire to run." - John Cleese, responding to the question "Why does British food suck?"

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.  I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that  but not with all those flies and death and stuff."  - Attributed to Mariah Carey

"If I couldopen the heavens above I'd be with you.. If  Icould hold you again in my arms I would tell you that I love you" - Donna Lewis from the Song Silent World

"I am Beavis of BORG!   Assimilation is COOL!   Resist and we'll kick your ass!"