The Golden Yellow Dress- excerpt from Bluejean

   Meanwhile, in my distractedness, I thought I missed a period. Was l pregnant? I wasn’t sure. Carl said not to worry; that everything would work out. The hills were half alight here and there with poui and late immortelle. Even the earth seemed to agree that the time had come to celebrate the end of one season. Not long before, all the grand trees were blazing! And then slowly the turning of the pages of the yearly calendar was announcing death. But 1 did not intend to mourn for long.

   By the time I came back from the doctor's office, 1 was sure I was not pregnant. Yet everything was fashioning itself into a bad dream. The flamboyant tree had run the limit of her red. But sad­dest of all for me to watch, was the deflowering of the poui. It was the same thing every year. When would she get some sense? There was so much acuteness to her suffering - the way in which the world seemed to say that death was not a fate kind enough for her; that shame and every manner of humiliation were more fitting. But next year she would be there again in all her foolhardiness, enter­taining in her gala yellow dress. Either she was determined to be a survivor, hoping one day to change things, or she accepted she was born for suffering.

   One morning she rose decked in all her beauty; the next morn­ing the season had strangled all her vanity, leaving her in throes of tears. When would she learn some sense? And it was Sly Wind whom she allowed to play with her, that season after season deflowered her. When she claimed violation, he claimed he did not understand her language. As far as he was concerned she had been asking for it. After all, what was all that shake-tail of her yellow dress? Year after year it was the same thing. Scores and scores of women came his way, and then went away protesting that he had interfered with them. They had to be stupid. Was their brain so soft they could not learn? Or was it something they could not help? When a woman dressed like Poui, she couldn't blame a man for touching! When a woman dressed like that she was asking for it!

   Next morning Poui’s streaking fingers clutched up to the sky for justice. The stale blood around her feet became her evidence. Someone had obviously ripped away her dress. But Sky, the judge claimed he must be impartial. Before he could say anything, he had to figure out if she really meant no when she said no, or if when she said no, yes is what she really meant. She stood naked before his court for days, rained upon in just her twigs of shame. Sky shrugged: These things took time: No shame, No gain. Be­sides, was that blood or mud? He couldn't presume to tell which women were tricksters and which ones were innocent. Some had been brought before him who vehemently cried rape but during the trial it was clear they were merely seeking revenge. He could not give judgment till he had heard all and weighed all.

   Meanwhile Poui had nowhere to hide. Everyday she had to take the stand in the full stare of the public. Sagaboy Wind con­tinued his taunting, but with fragile wisps because everybody was watching; Sun, his named accomplice played hide and seek. And since both of them could go down with the same sentence, Sun decided to help his friend and break Miss Poui by aggravating her suffering. He came out blistering sometimes and then at other times he hid behind a screen. Both Wind and Sun whispered (especially Mister Wind) their version of the story to people pass­ing. Most males grunted and moved on as if they did not hear. Typical. Such shoo-shooing could redound to their everlasting shame. That was ‘commess’ ; that was ‘woman business’. Most females, on the other hand stayed to hear the inside story, and now and then spliced in their own comments. Meanwhile, Poui wished most to be invisible. But how could she be invisible? She who was standing in full sight of the roadway, stripped of her golden dress?

   Patience moved to anger and anger moved to trembling. But people only passed her naked frame and stared and stared. Until she learnt to cope with humiliation. In time, everyone forgot and her case became as ordinary as  anybody else’s. And as things go, the less she drew attention to herself, the more everyone accepted her naked presence. Even females said she was a big woman now. She should have known better. What was she playing? As if she did not know what came to those who got to wear the Golden dress!

   And when it seemed that Poui would survive her perennial lesson - which could be gauged from the way she lifted her head back up into the air and did not lower it to hide her breasts - he came to her himself one night . . . the one she least expected . . . the judge himself, proclaiming understanding as if it was a personal gift. A green flush of diaphanous leaves to cover each and everyone of her limbs is what he brought. Poui stood blushing, wonder­ing if it would not now be absurd to continue her protest. In the acceptance of the gift of new clothes, had she not compromised herself? After all, the world was witness that her independence was only a fake, since during the night she did what she had to do to get some clothes to cover her nakedness.

   Next morning, the world passed by and pretended not to no­tice. But Poui was now in Baby Green. Knowing that more rains would come and that then she would be thankful for any kind of covering, Poui swallowed her pride and decided it would have made no difference whether she had said something or nothing. It sim­ply did not make sense her continuing her protest. Sky, the Judge, was in league with Sagaboy Wind and Sleazy Sun - you couldn't separate them. The pack of them were in league with the seasons, the ultimate dispenser of dresses. Everything was theirs to give and to take. Wind was the main agent, but they were all in it to­gether; all of them were accomplices. It was time she got smart and played for what she could get. She took a long time to figure it out because it was in her nature to be trusting. But in the end Poui realised it was best to lay the whole matter to rest. Most of all she came to the understanding that she would have to protect herself, because Wind and Co. would always find a way to get beneath her Golden Yellow dress. Above all, she would have to learn to close her legs!

pp. 131-134