Well, on my clock, I have 1 and a half hours before hitting the big 2002...
And here I have my New Year's resolutions for the year 2002:
1. Make my current presidency work.
2. Come out to my friends. (Well, if you are one of them and you read this, I think you know already.)
3. Re-invent the school newspaper.
4. Design senior sections for the yearbook.
5. Get a boyfriend.
6. Stop looking for/having meaningless sex.
7. Lose weight. --> Return to weight-training and diet, goddamit!
8. Maintain this web-page.
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I just spent an extra hour in bed today, trying to recreate a dream I was dreaming. Did you ever wake up form a dream and just forget about what the dream was about minutes after you woke up? All those details you noticed in the dream just disappear, and all you are left with is the afterglow and a fuzzy notion of what happened. I hate it when that happens.
Well, mabe I should explain what was so good about this dream. From my lack of mention, I think you may know that I am single. I absolutley crave for some sort of relationship in which I can be myself and be loved. Well, in this dream, I had that. In this dream, everything seemed to start on this school bus trip. A boy sits next to me on the bus. I talk to him. Somehow he ends up on my lap. He says that he knws that I'm gay. I tell him that I know too. Somehow we had seen each other's online personals. It was love... And in dreams, everything is perfect. Our relationship was accepted by everyone, and I don't know, it felt so real and now i know that it was a dream... I think I should stop dreaming. They make me smile too much.
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My brother says that the reason that I may be gay is because I am unsuccessful with girls. Uh, does this mean that I will be successful with boys?
My brother just told me that he hates gays. He says that its unnatural and disturbing. I hate his close-mindedness. Its people like him who made me depressed last year, before i found people like me to talk to. He's actually being very childish about it. Now he just asked me how sexually transmitted diseases are transmitted. Maybe he's just worried about me, but i doubt it. Liek he said, he hates gays. So that means he hates me.
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I don't know where this blog is going, but please bear with me. This is my 3rd time at creating a blog, and I hope that this will work out. I'm chinese, and I'm gay. I'm closeted, but I am trying to change that. I believe that there could be hope in our changing world for freedom fo expression, and I hope that this blog will help tell others how it is to express yourself.
Peace out.
I watched "Beautiful Thing" today, like 20 hours ago..... My first gay boy love film. it's british too, so I kinda have a soft spot for it. It was such a great movie, and I really recommend it to all of you lovelorn hopeless gay romantics out there. :) P.S.>The boys are CUTE!
I saw the movie with my buddy Edyer (not his real name.), and he kept laughing at all of the sentimental things of the movie. I mean, I'm a hopeless romantic myself, and I do sometimes get teary-eyed at the sad parts, but I can't help it. Maybe it's because it was my first gay boy love movie. Well, the next gay boy love movie i want to watch is "Edge of Seventeen" I heard that it 's great, with a cool eighties soundtrack to match. "Beautiful Thing" had cheesy seventies music, with lots of Mama Cass.....
Today, I mean, yesterday, has been such a long day.
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deviantART : where ART meets application :: Browsing Deviations
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I don't give damn what others think. They think they know me, but they really don't.Listen thyself
Thy own lies
Thy temperance
Thy impatience
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