Nose running, throat aching, and generally feeling like shit. The last time I felt this ill was after the Tiffiny annual dinner – to which my TV presenter Ex had an invite, not me – when I had food poisoning. My ex came over the next day with medicine and food. So, this morning, I was keen to SMS her.

I went through the entire range of ways to do this. Ask her out for a drink? Or not tell her why I needed to meet, so that she’d think I had an STD or something, and then give her shit when she showed up – I could even ask her to meet me at Gleneagles Hospital to really get her worried. Strange how I tend to forget what a blathering psycho she really was and also her tantrums, alcohol abuse, shitty family, whiny sister, and tendency to over dramatize every fucking thing.

It’s not so much I give a damn for her anymore, but I just need a woman, any woman. But first I need a career, and then the girls will come. And I do care a damn for her: if she were to walk back through the door, and I have this recurring fantasy that she’ll do so, I’d forgive everything in a second. Not likely to happen though, and now I suspect she’s deleted me from messenger, the bitch, although I deleted her months ago, and also there’s this dubious Dutch fuck on her Friendster page.

Enough about that useless bitch. Career is key. Copywriting looks interesting, but everybody I talk to seems to think it would be a long, hard slog to get anywhere worthwhile. Lots of freelancing, which I don’t particularly enjoy soliciting companies for, and probably not much full time employment.

On the other hand, maybe web writer or web editor could be the key: I’m using FrontPage pretty handily, I’m keen on simplicity, and my writing, I suppose, is shipshape.

Another thing I thought about, however, and it was like a light going off, is teaching investment seminars. I know that shit backwards and forwards, and Curly’s ex-boss, a copywriter cum entrepreneur, and I are meeting tomorrow to discuss just this. I’m not sure how much money I could make, but prancing around the stage in a suit would be nice for a change. The trick is how does one get customers? And does the strategy Curly’s ex-boss is touting, covered call writing in the US, have any use for local investors? He seems to think so, but we’ll see.

What I’d give for a bit of hot, kinky pussy right now.

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