A delightful encounter with DBS - 8 March 2004

Just off the phone with an executive at DBS in regard to my Autosave account, which provides both checking and savings.  The costs of running this account far outbalancs the interest and, frankly I’m bloody annoyed.

In February, I was charged a S$10 checkbook fee, a S$7.50 service charge (although the service at DBS is questionable, with long lines and what not) a S$2 account fee, and a S$25 charge for liquidating a fixed deposit that I’ve had with them for some years.  My interest, however, came to a whopping 29 Singapore cents, and as I write this I can’t imagine any item I can still buy for such an amount.  One hard candy in a candy shop?  A glare from a homeless person (ah, but none exist in Singapore) when I drop two 10 cent pieces, one 5 cent piece, and four 1 cent pieces on his newspaper? 

When I complained about all this, the bank agreed to refund the S$7.50 service charge, but stood steadfast on the S$10 checkbook fee.  No bank in the US would dare charge such a fee, I said, and in the US the banks are considerate enough to send me the cancelled checks for free.  Even when I threatened to put the S$45,000 plus I have in DBS into another bank, the answer was no.

“This is ridiculous!” I declared.  “They should call this account autopay and not autosave.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied.

“But this is f*****g ridiculous!”

“Did you just swear?”

Uh oh.  “No!  I said “frigging!”  But I’d be justified in swearing giving the lousy attitude of everyone at your bank.”

“Im sorry.”

“No you’re not! If you were sorry you’d refund the ten dollars.”

“I’m sorry you feel this way then.”

At this point I hung up.  Small amounts of money, yes, but it’s the principle that gets me.  In addition, I’m unemployed, and S$10 – or S$9.67 if I include my generous interest – is enough for about ¾ of a pint at most pubs, or if I go to a hawker center perhaps 1 bottle of beer and a plate of fried mee.

I reflect on the return DBS is making on the S$45,000 I have in accounts there.  A good bit of it has probably been loaned out to credit hard holders happily paying DBS over 24% a year in interest, an equal percentage to homebuyers, who will end up paying far more than their flat’s worth owing to the long-term nature and high interest of mortgages, and some perhaps to companies, who are likely paying in the region of 5% a year, considerably more than DBS is paying it’s account holders.

Of course, I also told the DBS guy that I’d transfer all my money from DBS to another bank and that I’d transfer my company’s account to another bank (there is no company account, but I thought this lie may help my case), but there was no budging the bastard.

Shall I go through the effort and trouble – involving countless forms, ID checks, and trips to the bank – of setting up a new account?  Probably not, even though DBS’s practices are so insulting.  In any case, it’s sure nice to yell at these bureaucratic bastards from time to time.    

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