| Well, here it is, but be forewarned: it's a very emotional story. You may want to have a box of tissues nearby. And by the way, the story has greatest emotional impact when it is read in a horribly fake Norwegian accent. Now, I hope you are ready, because here comes... |
| The Legend of Hans the Famous Byilly Gyoat |
| Okeydokey, dis hyere's the story of Hans the Famous Byilly Goyat, don'cha know! O.K., so one day Hans the regular byilly gyoat decydes to run up a hyll. So okeydokey, he runs up the hill. He runs and runs and runs. He runs as fast as he can, and nyever stops. One tyme he tinks, "Maybe I should stop runnin' up dis hyll!" But ya know what? He don't stop. He just keeps on runnin' up dat dere hyll! Soon he tinks in his byillygoat brain, "Dis here hyll must be a mountain, Jeez!" And you know he was right? -Because dat hyll actually was a mountain! So Hans keeps a-runnin' up dat mountain - runnin', runnin', runnin'... He runs for at least t'ree days, don'cha know, 'cuz dat mountan was one beeg mountain, ja. He gets so dern tired -gee willikers! |
| An' then the dead Hans goes a-rollin' and a-flippin' and a-crashin' down dat mountain, an' don'cha know he can't stop or nothin', 'cause he's dead. So he' a-smashin' and a-floppin' way down dat mountain, and a tumblin' and a-fallin', and finally after t'ree days Dead Hans rolls right down offa da bottom o' dat mountain, an' den you know what happens? Bum bum BUUUM!!! -He turns alive again! HOW CAN DAT BE, you say. Well, here's how: 'cause somehow, somethin' made him wake up! See? Anyvays, now Hans is alive and all de udder byilly goats be gatherin' round and cheerin' for Alive Hans. Dey all say, "HANS IS DA FYRST BYILLY GYOAT EVER TO REACH DA TOP O' DA BIG, BIG MOUNTAIN AN' DEN FALL BACK DOWN DEAD AN' DEN TURN ALIVE AGAIN! HOORAAAA-AAAA-AAAY!!!" An' den dey throw a real beeg party for Hans da Famous Byilly Goat, don'cha know! An' maybe dey even have a parade, or somethin'. |
| DA END |
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| So, after t'ree days he gets up to da top o' dat dern mountain, an' he's a-huffin' an a-puffin', as he takes dem last few steps. Den he says, "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--aaaaaaaaaaaaaa--aaaaaaaaa!!!!!" And den he finally gets to da very very very top o' dat mountain, and den you know what happens? He dies! |
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