SLANDER AND GOSSIP!
I had been home for several months and had gotten to know neighbors who had moved in while I was gone. At a small reception in honor of their wedding, I had the oportunity to meet many of their family members. None were especially talkative, but neither am I when I first meet new people. It was a several days later when the neighbor and I were talking about the success of the gathering and I thanked her for inviting us that she admitted that several of her guests were sceptical about my being there. When I inquired why that was so, she also admitted to having been more than sceptical when she heard I was moving back into our house. In fact, she was frightened for herself and her child.
She had the courage to open up to me as I had been telling her how my husband and his 'girlfriend' had spread horrible slander, even leaving previous tenants, whom I'd shared buildings with, fearing me because they had been told I was dangerous. One got me evicted while others got to know me for who I am.
Anyway, this new neighbor of mine was now telling me that she had heard similar stories; even that I had gone after my husband with a knife.
When I spoke with my husband later, I asked him, "Just how did you get away from me when I came after you with the knife?" He looked so shocked as he responded..."What are you talking about? What knife?"
And that's just one of the examples of the slander that was spread around town. Among other things, I was accused of being violent, faking illness, trying to ruin my brother's wedding plans, and so much more. To this day, my brother will not speak to me. He refuses to hear any defense I have or proof of who started his troubles. Even my mother was pulled into the web of deception and had shut me out for a time. Needless to say she was not pleased with my husband after she was able to hear the truth.
...But the hardest for me was with my son. He had been fed so many lies about me that he literally hated me.
It has been a battle to overcome these things; but the neighbor who had told me about the knife had also said that my best defense was just to be myself. She said that after a few months of getting to know me, she had begun to doubt the validity of the stories she had heard. So, I continue to rebuild my life...mostly with new friends and a few that stayed with me through the years and always knew the lies were unfounded.
It is hard to fathom that all of this originally began with one woman's determination to destroy anything and anyone who got in the way of her desires.... but because people love to GOSSIP, these tales were spread like wildfire throughout the town and many local churches. Via her many contacts, this woman who was active in the community and local churches, was able to convince many, and no one had the common sense or courtesy to be sure any of it was true before passing it on.
Never in my wildest imagination could I have ever begun to realize the destruction possible at the hands of one woman!
.......Oh, she didn't do it single-handedly. She invoked the help of many, including her family members; and eventually my own family, as she managed to convince them that her evil lies were true.
And what did I happen to get in the way of? I was in the way of her desire to pull my husband away from me. I can't say it was her desire to 'have' my husband because she did this to many other people too. I know this because she was my "friend". She had tried to get me involved in a couple of her schemes to destroy marriages, but I refused. Perhaps that was a part of her motivation to attack my marriage next.
Of course I hold my husband very responsible in these actions also. Had he trusted his wife and remained loyal to me, he would not have followed her into the web of deceit.
And my own naivety led me right into her trap too. Even after my husbands behavior became unbearable and we separated, I never had any suspicions that this friend had anything but our reconciliation at heart. Even 5 days before she suddenly died,(and three years into the separation) she was telling me how much she hoped that my husband and I would reconcile and she gave me a hug. Yet for years, as would soon find out, she had been trying to convince my husband to divorce me.
(See my Restored Marriage Testimony)
The lengths she went to and the extent of the damage she cause me in my family and the community is too extensive and painful to share at this time. Had she not been taken from this world when she was, I'm really not sure where I'd be today.
So, we need to take a serious lesson from this. What we say about anyone has the possibility of building-up or tearing-down; and we will eventually have to answer for our contribution in such matters.
God has blessed me richly in spite of all of this. I have lost many friends and some credibility in my town; but He is leading me into new areas and friendships and is "in-charge" of the restoration of my reputation. I hold my head high because HE knows all truth.
