August 11, 2005
On this particular morning, we woke up extra early in Waitomo so that we could get on the road and head to Rotorua, a town known for it's rich Maori culture, geothermal volcanic activity, and random extreme sports concocted by New Zealanders with a lot of time on their hands! You'll see what I mean.
The drive was beautiful -- as we left Waitomo, a thick blanket of fog floated close to the ground, but as we drove on, it began to lift, creating incredible juxtapositions of light and shadow against the valleys and the hills.
On our way back to town, we passed a stable offering horse back rides, so we decided to give it a go, figuring it would be a great way to see Lake Rotorua and the surrounding area. Jack got put onto a beautiful chestnut horse that was so responsive, it made it seem like Jack really knew what he was doing. They were trotting circles around me by the end of the hour. My horse, on the other hand, was the slowest in our group of 5, lagged way behind everyone else, and kept stopping to eat, drink, pee and poo. I didn't mind so much. It gave me plenty of time to enjoy the views.
Our guide was a jolly Maori man named Charles who used to be a professional rugby player, but then decided to try his hand at being a cowboy. He certainly looks the part, and for most of the trip, he was riding backwards so that he could talk to us. Mostly he was talking to Jack, since I was so far back.
Well, you can't go to a town known for it's thermal hot baths without actually sitting in a thermal hot bath... you don't have to twist my arm. There were so many places to choose from,
We wandered lazily through the town of Rotorua, which really isn't terribly exciting after 5pm when everything closes. We headed back to our hostel where a shuttle picked us up to go to the Tamaki Village, a reconstructed Maori settlement designed to educate tourists about Maori life and culture in an authentic environment. I've been to a few Polynesian shows before in Hawaii and Tahiti, but whereas those felt quite touristy, this one was presented in a very serious manner.
After the meal it was time to head back to Rotorua. We boarded the Waka Weka (translates to Canoe Weka, a weka being a Maori bird, but also what we call our bus) and along the drive home, each nation represented on the bus was called out by our chief to sing a native song. We heard songs from Ireland, Wales, England, South Africa, Australia, Holland, and when the U.S. was called out, we burst into a rousing round of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." Can't get any more native than that!
Singing drinking songs with British folks in a pub must be fun. Oh, by the way, pukka pukka means applause.
Our first stop was at the Agrodome, an activity center just outside of town that features a "world famous" sheep shearing champion. We attended his sheep shearing show and learned that there are 17 different species of sheep in New Zealand, all of which have slightly different purposes. Sheep are really funny -- they always look like they're smiling sort of brainlessly. I got pulled up onto stage to demontrate to the audience how to milk a cow! It was... an experience. They brought this huge cow on stage with an udder that must have had gallons of milk in it. It was soft and squishy, and I really felt like I was intruding. Poor thing. I wonder who was the first person to grab a cow's udder and milk it?
At the Agrodome, there is another area of the park where you can try zorbing, an activity which is so weird, you wonder why it wasn't thought of sooner. Basically they put you inside a gigantic plastic ball which has a second flexible plastic ball, fill it with water, and push you down a hill. You can opt to go the straight course, or the zig zag course, which is what Jack did. He said it was really fun, but it looked a bit nauseating to me.
but we ended up at the Polynesian Spa, which has natural pools overlooking Lake Rotorua. We relaxed in 4 different pools, each with a slightly 
different temperature setting and mineral content. The ancient Maori people settled in Rotorua and found the waters to be cleansing and therapeutic. We certainly did as well!
Our shuttle driver briefed us on proper etiquette and selected a "chief" from our bus to represent the group. Upon arriving at the village, we were greeted by a Maori warrior/scout, who had come to investigate the visitors to his village. He made some fierce, intimidating gestures, animal-like facial movements such as bugging out his eyes and sticking out his tongue, and when it was determined that we were peaceful visitors, our chief was invited to step forward to present the gift, keeping full eye contact with the warrior at all times, and never turning his back on him. When our gift was accepted, the voice of the elder woman in the tribe called out to invite us in and we stepped forward to a village aglow with warm fires, tall 
mystical trees and small, open aired huts. Each hut demonstrated a different aspect of Maori life, and a solemn respect for Maori life was maintained among all of the visitors. We saw a brief musical presentation in the main hall, before heading over to the dining hall where we joined a traditional hangi, a feast where the meats and vegetables are cooked in earthen ovens underground.
