The Spoon
So close, so safe, this is the most common sleep position for the first three to five years of marriage. "Usually, the man is the embracer," says Psychiatrist Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years. "When a woman assumes the posterior position, it may indicate she is the more giving partner or that he needs special nurturing." Semifetal, genitals against buttocks, the Spoon provides both of you with maximum physical closeness, though it's not necessarily erotic."Many couples simply find the Spoon a comforting, safe cocoon," explains Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore.

The Honeymoon Hug
Face-to-face, the Hug is the Rolls Royce of intimacy. Less common than the Spoon(and uncomfortable to maintain throughout the night), the Hug tends to occur at love's blazing beginning, when you're so deeply enamored you wish you could fuse, or just after lovemaking. Some couples return to it over the years during periods of special joy. And a few refuse to give it up, though, as Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a New York psychotherapist who specializes in relationship issues, says, "They could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart."

Like Shingles (on a Roof)
One partner (typically the man) lies face up in what Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years, calls the "royal" position (bespeaking a strong ego and a sense of entitlement). Although the woman also lies on her back, her head is on his shoulder, suggesting, says Dr. Dunkell, she is the more dependent and compliant partner: "By looking at the world from the same perspective as his, she achieves a strengthening sense of comradeship and protection."

The Sweetheart's Cradle
This is a more fused version of Shingles, because you're actually being held rather than just supported by an available shoulder. Consequently, this position makes you feel like the recipient of a generous and loving gift, especially if you're going through a time of crisis or special need. "You're literally being brought in under the wing," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "It's a very nurturing position."

Loosely Tethered
When love is new, partners will often sacrifice the pleasure of their preferred sleep positions to the rewarding intimacy of couple sleep. Five or so years into marriage, many couples feel secure enough to allow a bit more space — and comfort — into their bed. Often, they'll sleep tethered, like spoons but with distance between them. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee, or foot. "This can be a way of balancing the need for space and the need for closeness," says Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore. "It also diminishes the pressure for sex. It's an affectionate, not sexual, position." Of course, you can get closer whenever you like.

The Leg Hug
Some couples aren't comfortable establishing physical contact directly, and need to go about it as if it were almost by chance — your toes or feet "accidentally" touch, or your leg is casually thrown over his. Although such casual contact could imply that you or your husband are ambivalent about expressing affection, or intentionally withholding it — maybe after a fight — it may also speak of healthy camaraderie. To Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., a psychologist and marital therapist in Baltimore, hooked legs suggest familiarity, comfort, and a daring quality as well, almost like a secret code. After all, you have to have a pretty strong foundation to assume such physical proprietorship even when you're fighting.

The Pursuit
Sleep positions can reflect passing tensions and discord in a marriage. For example, after a disagreement, your husband may suddenly turn his back and retreat to the far side of the bed in what Samuel Dunkell, M.D., author of Good-bye Insomnia, Hello Sleep, who has been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years, calls a freeze maneuver. If you then pursue and push up against him in your sleep, that's called Illegal Spooning.

The Cliff-Hanger
When your husband suddenly retreats to the far side of the bed without waiting to see if you give chase, it's tempting to diagnose rejection in that stony back. Should you? Experts stress there is no "good" or "right" sleep position in marriage. "Although any deviation from the usual could indicate a problem, most of marriage is about partners working with each other's vulnerabilities," says Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a New York psychotherapist who specializes in relationship issues. In other words, rather than worry or steam, try to see what's behind the sudden withdrawal. Anger? Grief? Anxiety? If you know he's going through a trying time, give the man the space — you'd want the same if you were sad, or stressed, and simply needed to regroup. In time, he'll roll back toward you.

The Crab
Are you or your husband sleeping in a really peculiar position, maybe sliding halfway off the bed (as if to escape from each other) or ending up head-to-toe (as if you're traveling in different directions)? Pay attention: You or he may be acting out an unacknowledged need to pull away from each other, from the marriage. If you suspect that's the case, a marriage counselor may help you sort out what's going on beneath the surface of your relationship.