Warning: May Cause . . .

You know how all the drug companies are required to disclose observed side effects of all their products when they do commercials? You�re watching a commercial for an allergy medication depicting an attractive young woman frolicking with her boyfriend in a flowery meadow, but in the background you hear a quiet male voice saying, "Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, rectal bleeding, and blindness in some cases . . . " The image is shattered. Sneezing seems like a dream compared to severe intestinal cramping and kidney failure.

My love life feels like those commercials. I could be on some sunny, TV version of a date--having a picnic in some park with an Adonis like the poor girl whose body cannot tolerate pollen--but I'll hear myself quietly warning him that known side effects of being with me are frustration and heartbreak. I hate issuing those caveats. I hate knowing that I should come with a surgeon general's warning.