Invoice

Enclosed you will find
a summary of charges
for the marriage you received.

1. One blowout with your mother
   about whether or not
   "You're really going to marry him?"
   
2. Three (good thing you got out early)
   of the "best years of your life"
   
3. Approximately 25 nights spent
   wondering where he is,
   and feeling guilty for doing so.
   
4. Two months of musical chairs
   over which of you will get
   the dog / the apartment / the Cuisinart.
   
5. Unknown number of lonely hours
   because you miss him only now
   that he's gone for good.

Please make all checks
payable to God.