I absolutely hated going to church, but most of all I hated going to Sunday School. I had no friends and I refused to try to even make friends. It was like I was trying to make my parents pay for making me go there but all I was really doing was hurting myself. I didn't really fit in at school and now I didn't fit in at church either. My mom always told me that she was praying that something would happen to make me want to get involved with the youth. I would go every once in a while but even if I had a little bit of fun, I wouldn't admit that to my mom.
One evening, I got a phone call from some lady and to this day I don't know who it was. She called to personally invite me to go on a mission trip with the youth group down to San Luis Valley in Colorado. I told her I would think about it just to be polite. I told my mom and she started to really push me to go. I finally agreed to, but only if I could bring my friend from school along.
Well, to make a long story short, I ended up having the best time of my life. I made some very firm relationships that I still have today and firmly believe I will keep forever and most importantly, I learned what it really meant to be a Christian. I continued to become more involved after that mission trip to go on 4 more mission trips and became very involved with the youth group.
Now that I have grown deeper in my walk with God, I can look back and see the redemptive way that God used situations in my life to bring me where I am today. Even though when my parents told me we were moving to a new church I could see no good, I can look back now and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I have deep relationships with peers, a mentor who helps guide me through my walk with God, and I have learned more and grown closer to God than I ever would have if we hadn't moved to Covenant.
As I moved into college God worked in tremendous ways to help mold me into the person he wants me to be. I moved 1500 miles away from home for the first time knowing hardly anyone and to top it off, a 2 1/2 year relationship in which I was very much emotionally involved ended. All of those changes were very trying on my heart but God was incredibly faithful. He gave me the strength to walk boldly through trials and answered my prayers more than once through my surroundings. I can always feel him with me wherever I go and I can't help but look back on that and be excited to see where these struggles are taking me and what struggles are to come. It's extremely hard at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything else because it's the work of God and he has a wonderful plan for me. So many times I think I have everything planned out and everytime, God humbles me and shows me once again to only depend on him and his will.
Now that I've started my second year of college, God has continued to teach me even more. I spent my summer working for an evangelical, high adventure camp and God used that to teach me tremendous things about myself. I found a freedom there to be more myself than I ever have before in my life. Because of that freedom, I found confidence and joy in who I am and who God has made and is making me to be. My freshman year of college was a very relationally deprived year for me and I was extremely lonely. Having spent my summer surrounded by love, acceptance, and wonderful relationships, it was extremely hard for me to think about coming back to Whitworth where I was so sad and lonely. Once again, God has shown me that he is in control. So far, I have been able to carry what I learned this summer about myself into this year and have made a lot of new friends and I can feel the lonliness slowly receeding. I have found more of who I am in Christ and in that, I have found a joy that only Christ can give.
To be continued...
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