with Sunday Smith
by Kathleen Kuehn
SS: At an early age I fantasized about not being able to speak, as most people bored me. Thus, my pre-occupation with animals. I thought animals were creatures that deserved to have a written semantic forum as well. As far as tornados go, (even though you didn�t ask) I like violent storms, especially the calm before the storm. Hurricanes and monsoons aren�t strong. I like storms that are strong and have the power to transfer objects. Tornados have that power.
KK: How would you classify this type of writing? Do you consider yourself an artist of language?
SS: I loathe the word �genre� if that�s what you�re getting at. If not, you could classify this writing as �impressionistic jigga-ism.� �An artist of language� seems like a �label� I would love to accept. Are you offering praise? I do consider myself an artist in the terms of an artist, and only an artist. Animals are my oils; tornado�s being the canvas.
KK: How long does it take you to create each one of these poems�poems of mass destruction?
SS: Actually, these are poems of terror. These poems are natural, like the resources of the Earth. Petroleum and milk of magnesia are my favorite natural resources. I also like Vaseline and Vick�s Vapor Rub. I�ll put it as far up in my nostrils as it will go. I like to tickle my brain with the camphor.
KK: From where do you find inspiration?
SS: Anything that has a vertebrate. I love the working spine and the supple dexterity of all �beings.� I enjoy an occasional paramecium as well.
KK: Tell me a little bit about �Mister Tornado�� How long have you been working on this collection? Where did you come up with the idea for the title? Elaborate, please.
SS: Actually, it�s Mrs. Twister�s Weird Animal and Tornado poems and it�s something I definitely take pride in. Ever since I was a small, prehensile hominoid I have enjoyed writing about the bizarre and pragmatic events, we call LIFE. Being silly comes naturally and I think instead of being racist and/or passive, I poke fun at animals cos� they can�t speak. One time though, a dog was so offended by my haiku about his family he barked at me. It hurt my ears, but I was okay. I loved that dog. He heard my words. I am the master.Favorite musician? The late Lucia Pamela and Mary Hansen, I also enjoy Pamela Anderson�s new debut song �Work it out girl, bang the fever outta those breasts.�
KK: Finish the following sentence, �Chest aflame, wings aloft�.�
SS: This sentence would be best proceeded by �Get back over here before I beat your sorry ass sweater/necklace treat�
KK: What do you think of when you hear the phrase, �carnivorous fauna�?
SS: It�s probably a genus and species thing, kinda like Biology or Latin.
KK: Name three of your biggest vices.
SS: The words �Yaa-huh� as in yes, I hate monozygotic non-genomic twins and I also don�t like baths.
KK: Who do you think would win: Snatchasaurus Rex or the Great White Divide? Discuss.
SS: The Rex, he�s got fangs. Plus, I love prehistoric animals. Especially, the kind that have their own exhibits.
KK: Alabama or Arkansas? Babe the pig, or Babe the blue ox? Discuss.
SS: Babe the pig? What the funkety fun? I love pork. Bring it on. I despise oxen, they are plural. I only live in the singular (vernacular), as everyone should.
KK: Now ask me a question.
SS: Ok. Can a tornado pluck a chicken?
KK: (after momentary silence).....Yes.
SS: No, this is a tornado myth. However, chickens can lose their feathers when they are very frightened. This �flight moult� helps them to escape. Predators get a mouthful of feathers and the chicken gets away. In a tornado, a chicken can be so frightened that its feathers become loose and are blown off.
KK: Thank you.
SS: Your welcome.*
(*note, Ms. Smith does not believe in using possessive pronouns).