Through my mind's eye,
I see images superimposed upon my present reality.
At first glance it seems these are memories of a happier time.
Then, what I've learned sets in
And I feel the pain of the end of the fantasy I have lived.
I thought I had my dream,
But it came at such a cost.
I didn't even know that I was paying
Until my soul began to ache.
I felt the changes coming.
Although hesitant, I dared not ignore the call.
The fantasy had to be shattered,
And as the shards fell from my hands,
I died again.
For I too, had become a mere fantasy,
Not existing in accord with my true self.
The reality before me seemed like stained glass
Viewed through tearfilled eyes.
In that moment of realization, I fell into myself.
I crawled in search of a warm place to hide.
But there was no escaping my self,
forced to face the reality of what I had created.
A new day dawned in an instance,
And I felt as if I were taking my first breath of life.
As I exhauled - distraught, I accepted the challenge.
I accepted my path to go on in this life alone.
But I'm not too disheartened, I will find true love again
But this time without such sacrifice,
Without denying my authenticity,
Without settling for less than I know I deserve
Sadly and yet, eagerly,
I am reborn.
Copyright April 2, 2006, Janice Harter
