| Thought for the Week |
| This thought for the week is dedicated to those suffering the pain of endings with anxiety over new beginnings. I feel you as I myself am feeling the pain of endings, anxiety over impending change but with some optimism for new beginnings. I filed for divorce after only three years of marriage. My spouse chose alcohol and pot over me, likes to scream and yell at my kids and can't control his anger resulting in some very minor altercations. That was enough for me - I'm done! Easy part of the decision right?! So, how come I feel so down and anxious and depressed about what is a very right and good decision on my part? Its the devastation of the dream I was holding on to - that is what I'm mourning. I attempted to see my reality as the dream but no matter how hard I tried, I came up short forced to realize that there was a very wide chasm between what I had and my dream. So, that realization brings pain, no doubt. That realization means I have to strive to extricate myself in tact from a marriage that just doesn't work any more. There are legalities, there is paperwork, there is having to split in two, everything I personnally paid for in this community property state! Frustrating but worth it! I may lose some possessions that I paid for but, in the long run, I'm creating a better life for myself and my kids and for that, I think what I'm going through is worth it! I'm doing better now (Thanks to Zoloft - necessary evil for a couple of months until I get through the worst of this) and I'm very optimistic about my future even though the list of uncertainties is long. Change is always good so its best to just embrace it and rely on yourself to be resourceful enough to sort through the details as they rise to the surface to be dealt with. Does it all hurt? Yes, immensely. Add to that a huge array of other life lessons I'm being taught right now - sheesh! When it rains it certainly pours! But, I'm hopeful. I'm optimistic. I'm strong. I can survive this and make everything good again, God willing! Set your mind and goals to live happy and then, as Nike says: "Just Do It!" |
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