everything that happened. kicks a rock with my naked foot, and watches it jump down the
path and into the grass, turns down a wore out road that I have taken many times, the path
to my home. sigh.. my ex home I mean. without any thought I walk closer to the home,
talking the curve to the back of the home, stopping at a window and looks in. looks in at
the happy family, the people I used to call mine. wipes a tear from my cheek and turns
away from the window before I am seen, the voices and the laugher hitting my ears. closes
my eyes to push back the tears. opens them my green eyes, filled with fear searches the
ground for the head stone and walks over to it. sinking to my knees over the one who lies
beneath. sitting back on my feet, with my knees apart. memories come flooding back as
the tears start to fall, landing on the ground as I hang my head. tosses back the black cloak
back away from my body that I wear now, pulls the dagger away from my calf, holding it
up into the light watching the shimmering steel.
takes the dagger and plunges into the dirt, lets my fingers rub along the grass as I move
them to my calves again, letting my fingers slither up and over my knees, following the
lines to the small scars on my thighs that will soon go away. digs my fingers nails into my
skin as my palms rest over the scars, bring back the memories of the dance I did for him.
the one that meant the world to me, that took so long to get the feelings and the strength
from him to do the damn thing. body tumbles as the tears fall faster from my cheek,
making my hands wonder to my belly. feels fire that burns in there for him. mind races
with the sound of his voice making me forgetting everything but him. remembering the
way he made me feel, my skin hot to the touch wishing it was his hands that lay on my
skin. heart thumping, making the blood race through the veins at lay inside. tosses my
head back, making the hood fall, fingers creeping up my body with me knowing. mind
struggles to keep the past out, having a fight with myself as the fingers roam to the empty
neck. brings my head back down and lets it hang down. closes my eyes trying to forget
what was said. the feelings that I have for him. the time that I had with him. but I can�t, he
is etched too deep within my soul. lost in the world. alone. again. curls up on the soft, cold
ground, letting the feeling take over as I drift off too the dream, the dream I once had.
shivers as the sun goes down and the moon light takes over. awakes no more happier then
before, looks back over my shoulder at the Home. no light comes from within. sits back
up, letting my thighs sit on my calves. looks down at the grave, and the small dagger
sticking out of the earth.. squeezes my teeth together as I pull the dagger out of the
ground. cleaning it off with my cloak. takes the tip and lets it dance along my skin. looks
down at the brand at marks my skin. tracing it with the tip of the small dagger. knowing he
put it there for him, only him. quickly, without even thinking, no feeling at all, I move the
dagger down the K, making it bite into my flesh, marring the brand. before I can show any
feeling for what I just did, I do it again, and again, quicker then before, letting the edge
slice through the K, keeping myself in shock, as I do it again, making the cuts crisscross.
opens my fingers and lets the red dagger to the ground as the blood shuffles down my skin
and over my legs to land on the ground. tears fall from my eyes and land on my leg and on
the ground, blending with the blood. takes the edge of my cloak and presses it hard into
the inside of my thigh, biting my lip as my body tumbles with the pain. breathing comes
back to normal after a few minutes. I peel back the clothe from my leg and sees the dried
blood. takes a deep breathe and lets it out slowly. lets my left hand touch the marred K,
flinches with pain. hand trembles as I pick up the dagger with my other hand. looks down
at my body, then looks to the head stone, knowing what she has to do, as her heart will
always be his. lets her shaking hand reach up and undoes the clasp at my neck, letting the
cloak fall to the ground, under the cover of darkness, to no one but me, I pledge myself to
him, always, and for ever, presses my fingers into the K, lets out a scream from the pain as
I quickly press the razor sharp edge of the knife to my neck, not moving because it could
mean death, making it sink it just enough to leave a nice scar and pulls it along the neck
line, digging my fingers harder into my leg. hand drops to my side as fall backwards,
passing out from the pain.
eyes flutter open seeing the sun creeps out from the ground, sighs out of relief as she is
still alive. pulls my hand to my neck, feeling the open wound, knowing I must be careful.
pushes my elbows to my side and down, making my body raises up a little, trying not to
scream. puts my hand to my neck, wrapping my fingers around the fresh open cut. a smiles
finds it ways to my lips as I think of the meaning of it. something that only has meaning to
me. picks up the dirty dagger and lays it in front of the headstone. presses my fingers tip to
my lips then presses them to the stone. staggers to my feet as my head twirl from the loss
of blood. picks up the cloak and puts the hood up, brushing my hair back under it, pulls it
low to cover my face, lets it hang open, laying, just covering my breast, not hooking it.
walks up to the keep. kisses my palm then the door, saying �I will always be Yours� so
lower I can barely hear it, turns and walks down the path once again away from my world.