On Goodbyes

Playing is Dissipating Sorrow from the soundtrack of Final Fantasy IX

On Goodbyes

Why Deaths are Such Sad Things

Written in memory of the late Douglas Adams, who passed away on the 11th of May 2001. His works made him beloved, and he will continue to live on in the memories of those who have read them. So long, Mr. Adams, and thank you.... for the stories and the fish.

Death is a very very sad thing. And I just came to the conclusion why. All of a sudden, you are struck by the realization that :

"He's not going to be there anymore."
or
"I'll never see her again."

You may think, sure, cry your heart out... as if the beloved would like to see you suffering. But are you really crying for them? Are you crying because they died? Because many of us will live our lives, feeling content at the end, or not. Are you crying because they had so many things which they didn't do?

Or are you crying because you lost something? Because the world has lost something very precious and dear? Something more valuable than any material thing that you could ever have?

Because if s/he has died, s/he will either go to heaven, or hell. Or in the case of Buddhism, s/he will simply be reborn. Why are you crying? It's just a natural part of the cycle.... life and death, life and death.

Because that person was simply special.... with a unique DNA, unique personality.... there'll be no other person like that for maybe another hundred years. Is that why you're crying?

I read in the newspaper that one of the regulars of the letters section of the Star and the Malay Mail died peacefully. His friend, Bulbir Singh, wrote to tell us about how he and the deceased wrote to each other and got to know each other. I can still remember crying, because, well... he's gone, and no force on earth is going to put him back there.
Then I stop and realize that someday, Mr Bulbir Singh will be gone, too.... yet another part of life... it's shuddering to think about it now, but somehow, I know it has to happen. I'd just like to state my respect for these senior members of my society, and how proud I am to live in the same country as they.

Sometimes, the fear that you're going to lose someone is so over powering, you just want to protect that person no matter what. It isn't right, either. If the person wishes to go, let her go.

Loving someone a lot means being able to let go

For those who have never known the deceased, there is a sense of loss.... you always saw him there... now you won't ever. It's something different from a direct loss... but there is a chip away at your heart nonetheless. You try to numb your feelings, and the tears are just dammed inside your heart behind a wall which you put up. You say, I'll be strong, I won't show weakness.... Only babies cry.

But in truth, crying is good, because you get to let go the tears, and your sorrow, and the person whom you've just lost. There're still memories, happy ones, I'm sure and may life bless you before you leave to join your beloved parted one.

I'll love you in the meantime.

So cry, and let those tears go... and let the departed rest in peace. Live, for them if not for yourself. They love yo and want you to be happy. And somehow, you know they're going to live forever....

Dedications

In memory of JRR Tolkein, whom I regret I will never meet, for he died a long time before I even picked up The Lord Of the Rings. Your stories made my heart soar, thank you for opening the world of fantasy to my young eyes. I know there is magic in the world.

To the late Yehudi Menuhin, world-class conductor, whom I know has once been to the Philharmonic Orchestral Hall. Thank you for the good words you had for it.

If you have a dedication you would like to put up here, please e-mail me.

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