(Dear Reader, it is imperative that while reading this, you should imagine yourself and the perfect self you want to be conversing as per this convesation. Of course, the words here may not quite fit you, but hey, I’m not you.)
No One : Yo! What’s up?
? : Nothing in particular.
No One : How’s things?
? : Fine.
No One : Fine? Is that all you can say?
? : Well… I guess so.
No One : Gee… never thought things could be so hum-drum with you.
? : What’s that to you?
No One : Everything should be great! What are you doing, just standing in a hidey-hole of a shadow? Why don’t you go out there and do something.
? : Like what?
No One : Oh, I dunno. What d’you want to do?
? : I don’t know.
No One : ( smacks forehead) LOOK. There’s this here big, gargantuan world out there and you don’t know what to do? Let’s see, caving, rock-climbing, concertos, lots of reading stuff out there, I’m kinda sure there’s a big party going on somewhere-
? : Wait, you’re talking MONEY here. Where do I get that kind of money?
No One : Don’t suppose you could handcraft something for fun.
? : Why would I want to do that?
No One : Because everything’s fine. Seeing that everything’s fine, don’t you think you could go out there and make it better?
? : … … … …
No One : ( snaps fingers ) Ah-hah! Because you don’t know what you want, right?
? : Hey, I’ve got a really big exam coming up-
No One : And you’ve got a really long lifeline there on your palm. You’re young! An exam isn’t the end of the world!
? : It will be if I fail.
No One : Ever heard of re-sits? If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.
? : Yeah? Who said that?
No One : Lots of people. Edison, in particular, called his family out to watch when his factory was burning down. He said, “Look! There go our failures! Now we can start anew on fresh successes.” Or something like that.
? : That’s not how my parents think.
No One : Oh, right. The parents. ( Sits glumly for a bit, but you know it isn’t going to last long. ) What’s wrong with those parents?
? : They’ve got this gigantic calamity in their mind that’s going to happen if I don’t succeed.
No One : Succeed at what?
? : Well… at what they want me to succeed at, I guess.
No One : Hah! You see? You don’t even know what you want! All your life you’ve been letting your parents take control, or you’ve been letting nothing control you, so you don’t have a direction. No goal. No sense at all.
? : I have SENSE!
No One : And common is all it is.
? : Get with the program! Haven’t you heard? Dreams are out! Work is in! Money-
No One : Sure money is in. It just makes your life easier. But the hunt for it shouldn’t make your life harder or more unbearable. If you’re working just for the moolah, what fun is that?
? : At least I’m getting a paycheck.
No One : Paycheck, smaycheck. That paycheck is going to pay for therapy sessions, I tell you. Life means much more than a piece of paper! Do you really expect to maintain the standard of life which you’re having now as soon as you get a diploma, or a degree? Mom and Dad spent years getting to that level. So you should, too. Heh.
? : But that’s not fair! Why should I be the one suffering?
No One : So you can appreciate it. Just because you got plenty of money now doesn’t mean you can just throw it all away and expect your wallet replenished next month.
? : My paycheck will take care of that.
No One : Will a paycheck really matter if you’re miserable at your job? Can you imagine earning ten thousand per month, but absolutely hating that crap you have to go through everyday? Here’s advice if you can : Invest in a good squeezeball. Worse, you’ve got to be schizophrenic if you’ve got a family.
? : What do you mean?
No One : When your job is crabbing people out, occasionally they take back their troubles into the house, which is a really bad idea, because those troubles start to wreck the house. That’s why there’re so many divorces and broken homes these days. That’s what happens if they have a family life which could have been great, but is absolutely ruined because they also have this problem with their job, which leaves them looking not-so-hot.
? : But if they enjoy both their job and family?
No One : They’re happier? Well, what do you think? Of course, there’s the chance they might get killed faster.
? : What?!?
No One : Trust me. Read the news. Good people go faster.
? : So if I want to get out of this world faster, I should become a better person?
No One : That’ll be kind of fake, won’t it? Why would you want to die faster, anyway? There’s so much fun in the world.
? : Yeah, sure.
No One : Swear. Just because you can’t see beyond what you can see doesn’t mean it isn’t there. That’s why there’s a nice phrase which goes, ‘expanding your horizons’. For heaven’s sake, get out there and get a life! Don’t just sit there and watch other lives go by! Figure out what you want to do! Live it! I’m telling you, if you die before achieving any of your dreams, I’ll kill you.
? : I don’t think that’s possible.
No One : Maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Myabe you’ll turn out terribly, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll go sky-diving, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll make it into space, maybe you won’t. There’re so many possiblities out there. Choose one and make it reality.
? : But how??
No One : What do you think you should do? Well, one thing for sure, you won’t do much if you just sit down there and mull over it forever.
? : You make it sound so easy.
No One : Heck, of course. It sounds easy because it isn’t. But are you afraid of difficulties? Because that’s exactly what the best life is made of. Actually getting to the top of the mountain is the best part, but you always have to come down, after all, to get to another summit.
? : Isn’t there any easy way?
No One : Let’s say you’re on a sinking ship. There’s always the deep blue sea you can throw yourself out on and a slim chance you’ll survive. Then, there’s the devil, who offers you a really, really BIG chance to get out of there. Which would you choose?
? : Well… the devil?
( SMACK! )
No One : Sorry. Reflex. Okay, let’s explore the possiblities. Don’t you think that if you survive seemingly without any difficulties, people might start pointing their fingers at you and wondering if you caused the wreck? And you just might have, because you did choose the devil, after all.
? : Hey! Then what? Choose the possiblity that I might drown?
No One : Don’t suppose you would want to. But what if you do survive? What then? Wouldn’t it feel great to have survived, and be called a really strong person for having endured a hell of a wreck?
? : I guess it would.
No One : You guess?
? : Well, what am I supposed to say?
No One : You’re supposed to think about it, not guess. Life may be a great guessing game, but you’re given chances to think every now and then. The times to take a guess is when you’re about to jump off a plane with a parachute. Are you ready? You guess so. Then jump. Wheee!
? : What if the parachute comes out wrong?
No One : At least you sky-dived before smacking onto the ground. Wasn’t that cool? you’ll be asked later. Sure it was, and you’ll wish you could do it again.
? : But I’m dead! How can I do it again??
No One : That, my dear, is where thinking comes in. Actually, it comes first. You should have thought about what would happen if the parachute didn’t open properly. See? Similarly, you should think before investing in the stock market, make sure your investments will bring profit. The hard part is to have fun while doing all this.
? : Fun! Is that all you can think about?
No One : Suffering! Is that all you can think about?
? : Well, it seems kind of unrealistic to expect everything to be fun all the time.
No One : Of course it is. Kindly remember I don’t exist, either, so it’s kind of unrealistic I’d have good answers all the time. Even if everything can’t be fun, then at least something should be fun.
? : Like what?
No One : ( howls in frustration ) You’re supposed to answer that for yourself!! Why do you need me to tell you how to live your life?? It’s YOURS!!!
? : Okay, okay.
No One : Life is a tapestry, you see? Whether you want to be one of the colourful threads that decorate it or one of the supporting threads is absolutely up to you, but you’ve got to be a part of the pattern. You’re just one thread, but every thread fits ever so nicely into the tapestry. You’ve just got to figure out which thread is you. Now, if you ask me which thread suits you best, I swear…
? : I won’t ask.
( pause )
? : You really think I should do something?
No One : The next time I ask you how things are, it’s better not be a simple ‘fine’. Say something else! Like, ‘getting better’, or ‘horrible’, or ‘really smooth’. ‘Fine’ sounds so drab. Everyone says it. Life has a lot more to offer than that.
? : That’s what they all say.
No One : Who’s they? Well, if they’re all saying that, why haven’t you gone and seen whether they’re right?
? : I guess because I’m different.
No One : Look here now. Everyone’s different. Just because you think, no, sorry, you guess you are different doesn’t give you the special status of waiting for something to happen. How can anyone notice you’re different if you just sit down there in your quiet corner? How can anyone notice what a lovely colour a vase is unless the owner polishes it?
? : They can’t?
No One : Very good! Now you’re thinking. Now get out there into the world.
? : But…
No One : Shoo!
? : What do I do first?
No One : That is totally up to you. Go on!
? : ( stands up and leaves )
No One : Bye! ( disappears, which is a ridiculous thing to say since
s/he never existed in the first place )
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