I sit next to you,
You're lying on the crummy old bed.
I'm holding your hands in mine,
and I'm waiting for you to rise again.
I think that He won't have you,
That you are too good to die,
And that at least sunshine will still exist,
upon the soil trodden by humans.
You look up and smile at me.
I return it bittersweetly
Please don't try reassuring me
It won't work. Just get well,
and let's run the playfields together again.
I can see your smile is different,
I can feel you're weakening.
You scoff and says it's nonsense,
But you're my soulmate, I know.
The light of your spirit is ebbing,
and I feel the beginnings of my loss.
And I pray all the more harder,
Please, God, take someone else.
You whisper to me,
Take good care of yourself,
Because I must be going now,
And I'll love you in the meantime.
Tell me, my friend, why are you saying this?
You don't answer, just close your eyes.
I ask again, but your hands are limp,
and then I understand.
You'll say you'll love me in the meantime,
but you know it's not the same!
Nothing, NOTHING can every replace you in my heart,
I'll repeat it, I'll repeat it again!!
I back away from you,
my eyes throbbing with tears yet to shed,
and in that moment, with spirit vision,
I see you spread your wings.
And you rose from your suffering,
with a soft, gentle smile,
And I cried because until I follow,
I will never see it again.
Why did you have to be taken??
I scream out loud my rage,
God, you have so many angels!!
Why did you take mine away???
I feel the tears choking my throat,
I cannot shout nor blaspheme,
but my tears, my burning tears,
like my rage of losing you.
Why did you have to leave me?
Why did He have to take YOU?
With you, your sunshine, your love,
Your heart overflowing with blessings.
Why couldn't he have taken ME??
I'm the one with faults and sins!!
I gasp for air, and choke your name
and look to the heavens for you,
nothing will ever be the same again
Because life means so little.....
without my angel...
without... you....