I look up at the night sky,
and I wonder how you are...
been quite some time since you left,
Though I never really believed you would.
I don't think I need to tell you how I feel,
which is abandoned, lonely, and disillusioned.
I thought my friendship meant something to you,
and you just threw it away this way.
It wouldn't have mattered if we'd grown apart,
but the shock you gave me was harder.
You simply tossed everything out the window,
leaving me hanging onto nothing.
My friend, I gave you a piece of my heart,
and in gratitude, you destroyed your own.
With a knife, pills and poison.
How can I live with myself, knowing
I couldn't save you?
Forget me, you so often said,
Leave me alone.
I refused.
Get away, you said,
I want to be by myself.
I refused.
Beneath your desperate words, I saw a frightened person
and I wondered why you were so frightened.
So i reached to you and hoped you would hold on
And you smiled when I said I wouldn't let you go.
You told me no one else cared,
and that you cared for no one else.
But now I see why you never cared,
You were too absorbed in your pain.
Did you find your peace, my friend?
After all those dark years?
I was sorry I couldn't chase away your nightmares
But you didn't have to leave!
When you pierced the knife into your heart,
you pierced mine.
When you let the poison flow in your veins,
You poisoned me.
My friend, how could you have done this to me?
Why did you do it?
Why didn't you just come back to my embrace which
I was so willing to offer?
Why did you have to die??
Did you find your peace, my friend?
I wonder as tears roll down my face.
Did you find a final bed,
a final resting place?
If you did, good for you,
but deep down I know you did not.
You found fiery hells for taking your life,
and for that, I hate you.