Episode Number: 63

Episode Title: Embassy

Quotes

(Harriet is worried about Bud.)

Harriet: Not very Navy-like of me.

AJ: Ensign, the uniform is made to fit a person. See this? (Points to a scar on his head.) A VC tried to cut my head off with a hatchet, 30 stitches. I did not even know I was bleeding for about two days. But now this is an electric can opener, knocked me out cold for six hours, compliments of my ex-wife in her second trimester.

Harriet: Sir what are you telling me...that I should stay away from small appliances?

+         +         +

AJ: Did you expect this?
Webb: What, somebody taking over the embassy? Of course not!
AJ: If you did, your ass is mine.

+         +         +

Harriet: Oh, I see, if I do a good job house training a pet then you may consider me for the mother of your

child?

Bud:    No.

Harriet: No ?!

+         +         +

(Harriet is fixing herself a sandwich with sardines.)

Harriet:   Oh are you hungry Sir?

Admiral: I was.

Harriet:   I'm eating for two now.

Admiral: Two what ?

(The Admiral runs out of the kitchen after taking a look at Harriet's dinner.)

Harriet: Lets face it - men just don't have the stomach for pregnancy

+             +     +         +

Admiral: Who the h%#@ took my dinner?!

Harriet: Admiral, uh… that was me, Sir.

Admiral: You ate my Risotto?

Harriet: No, Sir.

Admiral: Well where is it?

Harriet: I tossed it.

Admiral: You... you, tossed my Risotto?

Harriet: Yes sir, in the garbage; there were things growing in the fridge.

Admiral: Ensign, there was nothing growing in my Risotto.

Harriet: I'm sorry sir, I couldn't help myself.  I just had to clear out the refrigerator.  I think I'm nesting.

Admiral: There's no nesting in JAG Ops!

(Harriet starts crying.)

Admiral: There also is no crying!... stop crying Ensign!  That's an order... Please!

Episode Number: 65

Episode Title: Going After Francesca

Quotes

AJ: You have something else, Major?

Mac: No, Sir. I thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to.

AJ: What, precisely, would we talk about?

Mac: May i speak frankly, Sir?

AJ: Seems like you're bound and determined to

Mac: Well, I know this is difficult for you. And I thought maybe a friendly shoulder to cry on?This isn't going well, is it?

AJ: You have a gift for the understatement, Major.

Mac: Just forget about this?

AJ: Already have. Close the hatch on your way out.

(Mac leaves)

AJ: (to himself): Thanks, Sarah.

Episode Number: 68

Episode Title: Angels 30

Quotes

Harm: Rice thinks it was God telling him not to fire.

Mac: Did he say why?

Harm: Rice?

Mac: God.

Harm: I don't know.  He's not talking to me.

Mac: No, he's given up on you.

Episode Number: 70

Episode Title: People vs Mac

Quotes

Harm: Mac is not a murderer.

Episode Number: 71

Episode Title: The Black Jet

Quotes

Harm: When to I leave, sir?
AJ: You don’t
Harm: Sir?
AJ: I’ve given the case to Major Mackenzie and Lt. Cmdr Brumby. Mac speaks Farsi, Brumby has operated in Iran.
Harm: Keeter is my oldest friend, sir.

Brumby: If that were my mate in jeopardy, it would kill me not to be there for him.

+         +         +

 Bud to Webb: Mr. Webb, Commander Rabb lives by a creed - duty to his country, loyalty to his friends.
You're asking him to choose between the two. No man should have to do that. There has to be a better way.

Episode Number: 72

Episode Title: JAGGLE Bells

Quotes

AJ: Lieutenant...We do not allow chipmunks, squirrels, gophers, any other type of singing vermin in JAG.

Episode Number: 74

Episode Title: War Stories

Quotes

Tina Leigh to AJ: A Shakespeare-quoting Naval officer. Now that's something I wouldn't expect.

Episode Number: 75

Episode Title: Webb of Lies

Quotes

Porter Webb: There is no greater honour than giving one's life for one's country.

+         +         +

Jordan to Harm: Don't tell me this is some weird fantasy.

Episode Number: 76

Episode Title: Rivers Run

Quotes

Harm: I washed dishes in a place like this one summer.

+      +      +

Harm: You looking for a brawl you don’t need to bother the Major.

+      +      +

Harm: I think he’s gone after the one armed man.

Mac: I think the Commander was speaking metaphorically, sir

AJ: I know who the one armed man is I don’t live in a cave.

Mac: No sir.

Episode Number: 77

Episode Title: Silent Service

Quotes

Harm: Leave the lingerie at home this time.

+         +         +

Mac: Harm?

Harm: Yeah? <there's a loud clang and a few snickers as his head connects with a pipe>

Mac: Umm, heads up.

+         +         +

Harm: What happens if you eat wheat?

XO Eustis: I grow fangs.

+         +         +

Captain: You make one hell of a team. Do you always work this well together?

Mac (looks at Harm): When he lets me do the talking.

Episode Number: 78

Episode Title: Nobody’s Child

Quotes

AJ: I can’t count the number of times I thought of hitting Rabb.

Episode Number: 79

Episode Title: Shakedown

Quotes

Mac (to Harm about AJ): I guess that makes you the son he never wanted.

+         +         +

Bud to Mac: et tu Brute?

+         +         +

Harm: Dinner for a week says its Newman.
Mac: Buying or making?
Harm: Buying.
Mac: Then you're on.

(They shake hands)

Mac: Nothing personal, but that last meatloaf you made was nasty.
Harm: You dogging Harm's special meatless meatloaf?
Mac: Let's put it this way.  You make the Harmon special on this ship; they'd have to unload it with the toxic waste.
Harm: Wow.  That's a little harsh, don't you think?  If you didn't like it, you could just say 'I don't like your meatloaf, Harm'.  You don't have to be insulting.  (He throws his napkin at her)

+         +         +

Lieutenant Sherkston (to AJ): I've lost more blood to those damned nurses today than when I got shot in Kuwait.

Episode Number: 82

Episode Title: Wilderness of Mirrors

Quotes

Bud: I guess I have a lot left to learn.
AJ (after Bud has left): Don't count on that, son.

Episode Number: 83

Episode Title: Soul Searching

Quotes

Bud to Mic: I lost my vir…

Harriet: You lost what Bud?

+         +         +

Mac: A car is strictly transportation to me. I don't need it to define my sexuality.

Harm:  Otherwise you'd be driving a HUMVEE.

+         +         +

Mac (in her new corvette) WOW! I didn't know what I was missing!

Episode Number: 84

Episode Title: Yeah Baby!

Quotes

Harriett giving birth in the Admiral’s office.

AJ: Push Lieutenant … that’s an order!

+         +         +

Chloe: Why don’t boys get smarter as they get older?

Mac: That’s one of the mysteries of life.

+         +         +

AJ: Looking for something Major?

Mac: Yes sir something with enough sugar to put me in coma.

+         +         +

Harm: That's our Harriet... always the over achiever.

+         +         +

AJ: Never a dull moment t around here.

+         +         +

Mac: You've delivered a baby.

Harm: (He holds up one finger) One baby one!

Mic: I'll deliver the baby.

Mac: You've delivered babies?

Mic: Sure dozens in Oz it comes with living in the Outback.

Harm: Yeah? You ever deliver one in a hospital full of terrorists?

Mac: I'll get my measuring stick later.  Harm you get Bud.

Brumby you with me.

Mic: Been waiting to hear those words (winks at Harm)

+         +         +

Elevator Repairman: If I were you I'd take the stairs.

Harriet: If you were me, you'd be home whining with your feet up.

+         +         +

(Harriet goes into labor.)

Mac: What can we do to make you feel better, Harriet?

Harriet: Shoot me!

+         +         +

Harriet: What's the matter?

Tiner:    It's crowning, I can see the head.

Harriet: Tiner? (Tiner faints)

Mac:     Tiner!

Harriet: He fainted!

Tiner:    No, I didn't!

Harriet: Like a school girl!

Episode Number: 85

Episode Title: Goodbyes

Quotes

Mac: Did you think you could get away without saying goodbye?

Harm: Why goodbye and not good luck?

Mac: Didn't i say that to you when I was stupid enough to leave jag?

Harm: Yes, you did.

Mac: You said you were happy for me.

Harm: That's different. You were in love.

Mac: And you're not?

Harm: (looks away) What does love have to do with anything… "HEY! (He wipes a tear from Mac's face.)

Mac: Want me to water your plants for you?

Harm: I don't have any plants.

Mac: I have so many things i want to say to you, but I can't find the words.

Harm: I know. (They hug)

Mac:  ... .why am I the only one crying?