quofweek1

"My son is 11 months, almost walking, and getting into everything. My problem is this: Every time he hears the word no, he goes into a fit where he throws his head and whole body backwards. How can I make him stop this before he hurts himself??"~~from Dani

The only thing I have learned to do with fits is ignore them. When he's throwing a fit, let him do it, but dont pay any attention unless he is hurting himself. He is just expressing his anger and because he cant talk, this is how he does it. When my children noticed I was not paying them attention, when they were throwing fits, they quickly got over the fit stage...~Karyn

The only thing that keeps my 2 year old from not doing horrible stuff is distracting her instead of dicipline. If you simply let them know that what he is doin is harmful or just plain bad, then offer another option to boredom, the problem gets better. However, I think everyone hates to hear no (lol).~Tessa

How is no being said? Is it firm? Or loud. Maybe the decibel that it is being said at is what is scaring him. I have also read that babies at that age do not understand no and things like that. Or he could understand and just want his own way. In that case, I would just be firm.~Michelle

First of all, rest assured that this is COMPLETELY normal behavior for this age. He's learning that he's separate from you and testing his boundaries to see how you'll let him go. As horrible as it is to watch the thing that Ive found that works the best is to ignore the behavior and DO NOT give in to it ....because otherwise you'll just be reinforcing this behavior and he'll start to learn that it works, and next time the tantrum will be even bigger! When he's done having the tantrun, get down with him and hold him and tell him you love him...take the time to do something special together (but no whatever he was having the tantrum over)...this will help soothe both of you...Their behavior looks terrifying...take it from me, mine is a full head banger when he has tantrums, but Zach has RARELY hurt himself from having a tantrum, and never anything serious, nothing more than a little bruise or something. Hope this helps.~Jessica

...Whenever Sadie throws a fit, and when Cassie was that age, I throw myself down right next to her and mimic her every scream and kick...Not only does it show them how silly they look (and they DO realize it, though it may take a little time), but the look on their faces when they stop and look at you is PRICELESS!~Jess

My husband's second son used to do this....I would tell him (in a calm but firm voice) basically that it wouldn't be tolerated and if he continued he'd be punished ...in words he can understand. When I first started trying to break him of this habit, he'd scream worse. But after me punishing him (time-out), and him seeing that he was missing out on the fun he started calming down. It took me a little while of doing this for him to learn- but dont back down! Anything they think they can get away with, they'll push~Jenn

If Isabelle throws a temper tantrum I normally try to remain calm and basically tell her in NO UNCERTAIN terms that my word is final, she will not get her way by acting like that, and if she feels any further need to act that way, then she can go to her room and let it all out.....in public...I basically say the same thing except the room part. I remain as calm as a mother can be with a screaming child and a bunch of unsympathetic onlookers (who no doubt think, "my child will NEVER act that way") and just stick to my guns. And as for hurting herself,...I place her in the middle of the floor far from walls and furniture and walk away. Chances are they get up and come look for you or ask for your affections~Sherri

I read once that small toddlers are told NO on average every 6 minutes on any given day...Now that is a lot of negative for such a young child to deal with, without getting upset. I noticed that Morgan, at a very young age, didnt like the word NO....By the end of the day she would get so upset when she heard the word NO...This...has helped her not get so upset but still lets her know when she is not permitted to do something..We use alternative words so that she doesnt hear NO all the time, ...like : stop, dont, go find a doll, leave that alone, please dont touch that, knock it off, and others...We very rarely say NO anymore...[She] does not get upset by the end of the day! Or you could always strap some pillows to his back! (lol)~Dee

My son when asked what his name was replied "No Devin"....We are the parents and if they want to throw tantrums, let them..just remember every parent has been there. As far as hurting themselves, remember we wouldnt bang our head til it was cirtical, if we were frustrated with our child..let them hit their head a few times, as hard as it is for us, it wont happen a third or fourth time.....he will learn...Stay strong and remember YOU are the parent..and dont let this attention getter get you ..All we can do is give HUGS when it is over~Laurie