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| THE STORY OF THE ORANGE GODDESS | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| As told by JaffaJenny | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| When the Pink Goddess made the world, he made many things: stables, fish, earthworms, bricks'. many, many things. All these were made from cheap pink plasticine, and it was all good. One of the things he made was a fairy, and like everything else - she too was pink. The fairy was a quiet soul, and lived in a tropical island, far far away from the worries of the starfish and other such distractions. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| Every day the fairy would get up, eat her tropical mango-fruit-type breakfast then laze in the sun pondering on the world, tiny little pink crabs would scuttle around her and all was peaceful. And so this went on for a long time (no one can say how long precisely, as this was before the pink goddess had made clocks). | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| Then one day the fairy got up from her tropical tree house, as usual then made her mango-fruit breakfast, as usual and then set off to the beach to ponder, as usual. While on her way to the beach she found on the ground a piece of metal - it had come from the low-power strip lights that the pink goddess bade light the world - and the fairy looked into the metal and saw her reflection. And to her HORROR realised pink didn't suit her at all. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| And so right there on the muddy tropical forest path the fairy fell onto her knees and beseeched the pink goddess | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Oh lycra'd one! Oh He-Who-Is-All-Knowing-In-The-Ways-Of-Fashion! Surely you can see how this pink lycra fairy suit doesn't go with my hair? I beg of you, all-powerful Pink Goddess, grant me a new fairy suit!' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Pink Goddess heard her cries and immediately looked to see if what she said was true (in all fairness, he had been very busy with those bothersome humans, otherwise it would have all been sorted much quicker). And he saw that the fairy spoke the truth, and he flounced muchly. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Fairy' he spaked unto her 'In my pink lycra wisdom I see that pink, though it is the holy colour does indeed clash with your hair. And so in my pink lycra wisdom I grant you the choice of a new fairy suit.' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| The fairy was very grateful and praised him greatly. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Thank you, oh most fashionable one - what I would most like is an orange fairy suit, with shimmery sequins' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| And in a second it was done. The fairy now looked very glamorous in her shimmery costume. The pink goddess viewed her thoughtfully. He spaked - | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Fairy - you have been the first to spake out against my impeccable fashion choices, and I have indeed seen you were right. And for this you must be rewarded. My cosmic throne in the far beyond is getting lonely and I feel I would like some friends - how would you like to become the Orange Goddess?' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| The fairy grinned her cheeky fairy grin 'oh yes please, Pink Goddess - I should like that more than anything. But' And here she looked around her tropical paradise 'There is one thing I would like to take with me' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Yes' the Pink Goddess nodded encouragingly. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Well' The fairy looked rather sheepish 'I should like to take the scuttling crabs, as they have been my friends here on this island - but I feel pink would not be a good colour for Orange Goddess minions. So with your permission I would like to change them into jaffas.' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Jaffas?' The Pink Goddess looked much confused. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Yes jaffas - little creatures that look brown and ordinary on the outside, but inside have magical orange powers.' (It is the writers opinion the Orange Goddess had spent a little TOO much time pondering in the sunshine when she came up with that one) | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Pink Goddess was much pleased with the fairy's request. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Yes - t'will be done. But I'll not have messy little jaffa creatures running riot in my cosmic home - you must be their ruler, their queen and keep them under your power.' | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| And so it was done and the new Orange Goddess ascended to sit at the Pink Goddess's side and they had long chats about fashion and the evils of the purple townie starfish. And in her new role she came to be known under the multitude of names she is now referred to - The Orange Goddess, Jaffa Fairy, Queen of Jaffas and so on. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| That is the end of The Story of the Orange Goddess ? I hope you have enjoyed her tale. Praise be to the Orange Goddess | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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