Now on to the ADVENTURE! (It's REALLY LONG so don't read it unless you're in the mood)
Lauren and Sergio's Day of Fun
Sergio: lauren will you kayak with me to find the lost city of kukamunga?
Produced by: sergio "surgery" cea and lauren "queen of kukumunga" richardson
Everyone sings during credits: why do you fill me upbuttercup baby?
the characters (in order of appearance...well kinda)
NO MUTANT VEGETABLE OR DISTEMPERED WINGED SQUIRRELS WERE HURT OR TURNED INTO SUSHI IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM! Well....maybe one....we just wanted to try it
LOOK FOR NEW SCRIPTS! ME AND LAUREN MAKE THEM ALL THE TIME! MAYBE THEY'LL BE A 'LAUREN AND SERGiO'S DAY OF FUN PART TWO' WITH EL SQUIRTO MAKING A SPECIAL APPEARANCE!
Lauren: YES! I LOVE KYAKING! LET'S GOOOOOOO!
Sergio: coooooooooolness we can bring all the bananas we want!
Lauren: mmmmbananasandkyakingi'msolucky
Sergio: i wonder what the natives of kukumunga are like
Lauren: they're all like me! Ultimate Women! I'll join their tribe!
Sergio: and then they'll throw me into their mighty big volcano as sacrifice to the gods... wait thats not good
Lauren: No!I'll protect you! They'll respect me because I am also an ultimate woman
Sergio: i bet theyll make you their leader. queen oogaboogalaurendoodle of the ultimate women kukumunga tribe!
Lauren: YAY! I'd be cool and we'd have cookies everyday for breakfast and then intensive man hunts!
(at this point i got kicked offline)
Sergio: pardon me o great queen. the aol gods have brought their anger out on me. i shall sacrifice some carrots to them
Lauren: mmmgood
Sergio: o great queen, may i ask of you a favor?
Lauren: what would that be, friend Sergio?
Sergio: may i take one of your ultimate women as my slave...actually maybe 3 or 4 would be nice
Lauren: hmmm..well as long as they agree it's fine!
Sergio: many thanks great queen! to celebrate i say we do a dance to the song "dont touch me" by brak.
Lauren: A capitol idea!
*lauren starts to boogey down to don't touch me*
*sergio spazzes along side with 4 slave girls that resemble rikki*
*lauren does the macarena*
*sergio does the twist*
*rikki slave girls do weird dances they learned in kukumunga dance class*
*lauren does the watusi*
*sergio does the tango with lauren*
*dramatic dip*
*sergio drops lauren*
Lauren: ouch.....oh well!
*gets up and starts dancing like scooby doo characters*
*sergio dances like velma from the pup named scooby doo cartoon*
*sergio stops dancing*
Sergio: are there any mystical or magical creatures on this island?
Lauren: Yes there sure are! They have....the ferocious beast!
Sergio: oh my! what does he look like?
*the ferious beast from nick jr's show comes out*
Ferocious Beast: Hello everyone! I'm the ferocious beast!
Sergio: you have lots of spots ferocious beast
*ferocious beast sneezes and all the spots fly out everywhere*
Sergio: oh my ferocious beast we need to get your spots back on!
Lauren: dear god! He's not nearly as ferocious without his spots!: SPOT HUNT!
*all the ultimate women start whooping*
*everyone looks for spots while some whimsical music is played in the background*
Sergio: hey i didnt find a spot but i found something else! its an elf!!!! what be your name elf?
Janis the Elf: I�m janis the elf, pardon me while i do my NO KICKING dance
*Janis the elf dances crazily*
Lauren: That was very good Janis the elf! You shall be our friend
Janis the Elf: I'll be friends with YOU but not HIM *points to Sergio*
Sergio: awwwwwwwwww
Lauren: But friend Janis the elf! Sergio is a good little hispanic jesus boy!
Sergio: thats it come here you damn elf!!! I�m going to kick you!!!!!!
Janis the Elf: AAAHHHH!
*Janis the Elf kicks sergio in self defense*
Sergio: HEY!!! YOU SAID NO KICKING!!!!
Janis the Elf: oh right *janis starts biting sergio in the shins*
Sergio: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Lauren: Friend Janis the elf! nooooooo!
Sergio: GET HER OFF ME QUEEN!
Lauren: I don't know Sergio...this is kinda fun to watch..but if you insist
*pulls janis off sergio and pats her on the head*
*Sergio gets up and wipes himself off and looks at wound*
Sergio: DAMN THESE ELF BITES SMART!!!!
Lauren: Sergio, she didn't even break the skin
Sergio: WHAT IF IM BLEEDING INTERNALLY LAURENNN????
Lauren: I.....DON'T KNOW! SERGIO! YOU'RE GONNA DIIIIE!
Rikki slave girls: these barbie band-aids will cure you
Sergio: Thanks rikki slave girls. heyyyyyy where is the rest of your elf clan janis?
Janis the Elf: They have been captured by evil winged distempered squirrels. this is all the work of the evil witch of the West side
Sergio: oh no! how terrible!!!
Janis the Elf :im on a quest to save them
Lauren: WE (the ultimate women) Shall help you!
*lauren turns around and sees all the ultimate women have run away*
Sergio: well...i guess me the queen and the rikki slave girls will accompany you janis the elf
Janis the Elf: Ok sure thing
Lauren: I guess the ultimate women weren't as ultimate as we thought
Sergio: i dont know queen, it sounds like this evil witch of the west side is a bad mama jama. capturing a whole elf clan! and she has distempered winged squirrels!
Lauren: Oh Sergio, nothing can beat rikki slaves and LAUREN! THE ULTIMATE WOMEN! plus Sergio!
Sergio: indeed so where do we look for this evil queen?
*janis the elf pulls out a map*
Janis the Elf: she lives beyond the rose mase and the snowy mountains, in a dark and gloomy cave is where her castle lies
Sergio: alright lets start our journey then!!!!
Lauren: agreed!
*they set out and immediately fall in quicksand*
Lauren: hellfire and damnation!
Sergio: OH NO QUICKSAND!!!! WE ARE DOOMED!!!
*as everyone starts sinking to their death they hear a tarzan like call and are swooped out of the quicksand, all except one of the rikki slaves who dies*
Lauren: NOOO! RIKKI SLAVE #3!......... oh well. who saved us?
Tarzan-Franky: hello i am franky of the jungle! or tarzan-franky
Sergio: you saved us franky...except for one of the rikki slaves but we have enough rikkis as it is...hey your loin cloth is pretty nifty.
Lauren: can I wear it?
Tarzan-Franky: No....
Lauren: damn! *snaps fingers*
Tarzan-Franky: Oh look! An ultimate woman! Well then, I guess you're not terribly evil beings I have to maim and torture!...what the hell is this thing biting my shins?
Sergio: janis the elf! get off him. he saved us
Janis the Elf: sorry its my elf instincts to bite people on the shins
Tarzan-Franky: That's alright....I guess...
Lauren: Hey Elf Janis! How come you didn't bite ME in the shins?
Sergio: i think she just has it out for the men..damn feminist elves
Tarzan-Franky: what are you all doing here? dont you know that this is the quicksand forrest
Janis the Elf: dammit sergio! i told you we should of stopped at that troll gas station for directions
Sergio: ask for directions? never! anyways tarzan-franky, we are on a journey to save janis' elf clan who have been taken captive by the evil witch of the west side
Tarzan-Franky: GASP!
Lauren: Would you like to join us Tarzan-Franky? We rather like you're loin cloth
Tarzan-Franky: stop staring at my crotch
Sergio: sorry
Lauren: Sorry...but the colors are so psychedelic
Janis the Elf: How about some pelvic thrusts to make it sparkle and move more?
Tarzan-Franky: NO!
Sergio: come on
Tarzan-Franky: No!
All: Awwwwwww
Franky: well.....all right
ALL: YAAAAY!
*Tarzan-Franky does pelvic thrusts*
All: The colors.......so psychedelic
All: his crotch is hypnotic
Tarzan-Franky: All right....THAT'S ENOUGH!
All: Sorry.....
Sergio: i guess we must be off anyways
Lauren: yeah although I think we should do that more often
Tarzan-Franky: On my word I'll never gyrate again! (heh notice the scarlet o'hara reference)
Sergio: hmmmm maybe your hypnotic crotch will come in handy tarzan-franky
Tarzan-Franky: I'm sure it will! This is a handy weapon
Rikki slave girl #1: im sure it is!!!
Sergio: shut-up slave girl
Tarzan Franky: Wink wink
Sergio: hey hey hey! get your own rikki slave girls!
Lauren: Sorry Franky but those are Sergio's Rikki slaves
Sergio: i know!
Tarzan-Franky: Awwwww
Lauren: You can have the dead one if you want
Tarzan-Franky: That's...ok
Janis the elf: enough of this! we need to save my clan. now where do we go?
Tarzan-Franky: well to get to the evil witch's castle we first have to go to sherwood forrest
*about an hour later they finally get to sherwood forrest. while walking through the forrest they hear a girl crying*
Sergio: do you all hear that?
All: no
Sergio: ok
*Suddenly the crying gets louder until a girl with curly hair lands on Lauren*
Lauren: ouch...geez not twice!
Girl: Hello I'm caitlin sherwood of sherwood forest!
Lauren: Well hello Caitlin, could you please GET OFF!?
Caitlin of Sherwood: Oh sorry *gets off looks at Tarzan Franky* Nice loincloth
Tarzan-Franky: WHATS WITH EVERYONE STARING AT MY CROTCH!!!!
Caitlin:yummy
Tarzan-Franky: AAAAUUUGH!
Caitlin of Sherwood: My husband has been captured by the evil witch *sniff sniff*
Sergio: thats terrible. she also took janis' elf clan
*they hears crying again*
Caitlin of Sherwood: That's my husband
Lauren: What's his name?
Caitlin of Sherwood: John Milton
Lauren: That's ridiculous!
Sergio: yes very ridiculous
Cailtin of Sherwood: I know that's why I call him Sammy Clatterbuck!
Lauren: that's much better
Caitlin of Sherwood: I know isn't it?
Janis the elf: your husband is sammy clatterbuck? but he is known for having fire powers. how did the witch capture him?
Caitlin of Sherwood: she had a fire extinguisher
Janis the elf: oh yeah thatll do it
Lauren: This witch sounds like a real bitch...Ha ha! I so totally rhymed!
All: Lauren...SHUT UP!
Lauren: awww....
Caitlin of Sherwood: Gasp! Are you an....ULTIMATE WOMAN?
Lauren: Why yes I am! Hence the shirt!
Caitlin of Sherwood: SISTER!
Lauren: what!?
Caitlin of Sherwood: my mother told me that my long lost sister is a red headed ultimate woman! We thought it was ridiculous because no ultimate women are red heads! But now I have found you!
Caitlin of Sherwood: Sister!
Lauren: brother!!!! i mean sister!!!
*both embrace*
Lauren: Now let's go get that bitch of a witch!
Rikki slave girl #2: you rhymed again
ALL: shut-up!!!!
Rikki slave girl #2: awwwww
Sergio: and get off tarzan franky
Rikki slave girl #1 #2 and #3: awwwww
Tarzan-Franky: damn
Lauren: Now let's go!
Cailtin of Sherwood: Can I come?
Sergio: yes caitlin of sherwood. you may join us and together we can save your husband...john hehe milton HAHAHAAHA...and janis' clan
Caitlin of Sherwood: YAAAAAY!
Caitlin of Sherwood: Johnny hun we're coming!
*now queen lauren of the ultimate woman, sergio, rikki slave girls#1-3, tarzan-franky, and caitlin of sherwood set off to get the evil witch. they come to the snowy mountains were its awfully cold*
Rikki slave girls: brrrrr i wish we wore more clothes!!!
Lauren: wait....isn't Rikki slave #3 dead?
Rikki slave girl #4: yeah you've been mislabeling me all along
Lauren: Oh....sorry
Rikki slave girl #4: s'ok
Lauren: Well then! Let's keep going!
*Tarzan-Franky throws snowball at ultimate woman lauren*
lauren: im gonna kill you!!!!!!! AND steal your loin cloth!
Tarzan-Franky: Augh! Noooo! My loin cloth is too pretty to not be on me!
Sergio: lauren! tarzan-franky! quiet! you might start an *mountain starts moving* AVALANCHE!!!!!!!
Lauren: *smirks dangerously* it matters not! I'm the ultimate woman! I'll beat the avalanche AND have Tarzan Franky's loin cloth!
*beats up the avalanch*
Avalanche: ouch.....I just wanted to play
Lauren: Sorry bud not today
Avalanche: im telling my mom!
Lauren: CRY BABY!
Avalanche: Na uh!
Rikki slaves #1 #2 and #4: ya huh!
Avalanche: na uh!
All: UH HUHHHHHHH!
Avalanche: oh youre gonna get it
seconds later...
Mother avalance: im going to get you all! nobody touches my baby!!!!!!
Lauren: Oh shit! RUN!
*everone runs down the mountain but mother avalanche is too fast and they are all covered in snow*
Lauren: *choking on snow* TARZAN FRANKY! YOU'RE OUR LAST HOPE! HYPNOTIZE MOTHER AVALANCHE WITH YOUR PSDYCHEDELIC CROTCH!
*tarzan-franky does pelvic thrusts*
Mother avalanche: NOOOOO NOT THE CROTCH! ITS SO...BOUNCY
Lauren: It's working Tarzan Franky! MOOOORE!
Tarzan-Franky: I don't think I can go any faster!
Sergio: You have to try!
Janis the elf: YES YOU MUST!!!!
*Tarzan-Franky does pelvic thrusts at a super human speed*
Lauren:*staring at crotch* wow....that's impressive
Mother avalanche: Soooo hypnotic....mmmm....yummy
Mother avalanche: NOOOOOOOO *has heart attack and dies*
Sergio: Tarzan-Franky's crotch was too much for her!
Caitlin of Sherwood: *staring at crotch* That's for sure!
Janis the Elf: Yeah but now avalanche is an orphan.
Lauren: Oh poor avalanche! I'll be it's mother!
Sergio: Noooo he tattled on us!
Lauren: Well that's true....maybe we should leave it alone
Janis the Elf: Has anyone else noticed that we are missing another rikki slave?
Sergio: damn. another rikki slave bites the dust
Lauren: which ones are left?
Janis the Elf: #2 and #1
Rikki Slave Girls #1 and #2: HI!
Sergio: You two better not die on me or im gonna kill you!
Sergio: I better have one rikki slave girl at the end of this quest!
Rikki Slave Girls #1 and #2: Don't worry sergio we're the extra durable ones!
Sergio: you better be. i knew i shouldve gotten rikki slave girl insurance
Lauren: well at least Rikki slave girl #4 died watching Tarzan Franky's hypnotic pelvic thrusts
Janis the Elf: actually she died buried underneath the snow
Sergio: geez janis make us all feel bad why dont you!!!
Janis the Elf: HEY! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLAN! I'M ALLOWED TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD!
Caitlin of Sherwood: you guys we need to stop fighting and continue our quest!!!
Lauren: Oh yeah! John Milton and the elf clan!
Sergio: yes i agree we should all continue where to next?
Janis the Elf: to the rose mase
Lauren: Ok then!
*all go to the rose maze*
Sergio: oh my this mase is rather long and...confusing
Rikki Slave Girls #1 and 2 in unison: well be lost for years! maybe even days!
Janis the Elf: If only we knew someone really TALL!
*UNK UNK UNK UNK UNK UNK!*
*Jessica the Giant comes in* Did I hear someone needed tallness?
Lauren: Hello, who are you?
Jessica the Giant: I'm jessica the giant!
Lauren: do you ever get tired of being a giant?
Jessica the Giant: I can shrink if I want
Lauren: Well that's nifty!
Jessica the Giant: *staring at Tarzan Franky's crotch* Love the loin cloth
Tarzan-Franky: I've come to accept it
Sergio: damn i need me a loin cloth...wait a minute you wernt the one saying UNK UNK UNK were you?
Jessica the Giant: no that wasnt me
*UNK UNK UNK UNK*
Sergio: i wonder were all that unkness is coming from
Janis the Elf: as do I
*Sergio runs to the sound and there he sees spleen*
Lauren: Yaaay! Spleen!
Spleen: I'm also tall!
Lauren: With Jessica and Spleen put together we can see over the wall!
Rikki Slave Girls #1 and #2: YAY! THAT MEANS WE'RE NOT GONNA DIE!
Sergio: i dont know. you rikki slave girl have the tendency to ummmm die
Janis the Elf: Jessica the Giant and Spleen help us. we are searching for the evil witch's lair. she has taken my clan and Caitlin of Sherwood's husband captive
Spleen: That's terrible!
Jessica the Giant: Indeed!
Lauren: Will you help us Spleen and Jessica the Giant?
Spleen and Jessica the Giant: Yes, we'll help you puny little people!
Rikki Slave Girls #1 and 2: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!
Tarzan-Franky: I'm not puny!
Lauren: Compared to Spleen and Jessica the Giant you are!
Tarzan-Franky: Awwwwww!
Spleen: With our ability to change size we can find a way through this mase of roses!
Lauren: GO SPLEEN AND JESSICA THE GIANT!
Owl: HOOT HOOT (You dont need to find a way through)
Sergio: Who said that? And where is the hoot hoot coming from?
Emily: It is I, Emily (not Sergio's Emily mind you) and my faithful owl Athena.
Caitlin of Sherwood: Geez! These people are coming out the woodwork!!!
Emily: Well i was gonna help you guys get through the mase but...
Lauren: No, no, no! Pardon my sister. She has gone crazy from drinking too much elf juice. We would greatly appreciate any help you can give us!
Emily: And afterwards we can watch Anime!
Lauren: Yaaaaay!
Everyone Else: Groan!
Emily: Well, if you haven't noticed the mase is of roses, and i have a lawn mower. We can just make a path straight through the mase...Whoa! Nice Crotch!
Tarzan-franky: Ehhhhh! im not even going to bother!
Jessica the Giat and Spleen: Damn! We didnt get to help at all!
Sergio: Don't worry! You guys can help us in the battle against the witch and her winged squirrels.
Jessica the Giant and Spleen: YAAAAY!
*Emily goes crazay with the lawnmower, roses fly everywhere*
Janis the Elf: She's my hero!
*everyone runs behind her while owl starts hooting*
Sergio: Hey this reminds me of a song. Who let the owls out?
All: Hoot hoot hoot hoot hoot!
Lauren: Ha ha! Oooh good times, good times!
*Emily still going crazy with lawn mover* BWA HA HA! TAKE THAT DAMN ROSES!!!
Lauren: Go Emily! It's your birthday!
Emily: *pauses in mid cackle* No it's not.
Lauren: Eh, just go with it.
Emily: *shrugs* Ok sure, why not?
Emily *starts up lawn mover again* BWA HA HA!!!
*they finally arrive at the otherside of the mase*
Lauren: Yaaay! Go Emily!
Emily:*complete monotone* It's my birthday.
*then they arrive at the otherside...i lied before*
*damn you sergio, oh well at least we're there now*
Janis: See up yonder. We must go inside the dark and gloomy cave. There we'll find the witches castle!
All: Gasp!
Spleen: I'm afraid of the dark!
Caitlin of Sherwood: But you're so big!
Spleen: So?
Tarzan-franky: Don't worry my crotch glows in the dark.
Sergio: Is there anything your crotch cant do?
Tarzan Franky: NOPE....it even makes jullian fries!
Sergio: Mmmmmmm jullian crotch fries.
Spleen: Yeah franky, you're crotch IS really impressive! *stares*
Tarzan-frank: Ummm lest move on...
*everyone enters the cave*
*and sees Mrs. Baldwin*
Tarzan-Franky and Lauren: Mrs. Baldwin! You're the witch!
Sergio: What the hell? Mrs.baldwin?
Mrs.Baldwin: Well Sergio, I teach biology to Tarzan-Franky and Lauren.....by the way Franky nice crotch.... and now you'll all pay! THIS IS FOR NEVER TURNING IN YOUR HW PACKETS ON TIME! Get them my pretties!!!!!
Distempered winged squirrels: EEK EEK EEK!!!!
*Mrs.baldwin vanishes in a poof of air*
Lauren: Pah! Mrs. Baldwin's distempered winged squirrels are no match for an ULTIMATE WOMAN!
Janis the Elf, Rikki Slave Girls #1 and 2, and Caitlin of Sherwood: Help! We have been captured!!!!
Lauren: Oh crap! Jessica that giant and Spleen! Help them!
Spleen: *whimpers* It's so dark!
Tarzan-Franky: Oh yeah! I forgot!
*crotch starts glowing*
Spleen: That's better!
Spleen: It's too late they've flown away with them!
Owl:HOOT HOOT HOOT!
Emily: ATHENA NOOOO! THEY'VE CAPTURED YOU TOO!!!!
Lauren: NOOO! NOT ATHENA TOO! IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD!?
Emily: Alright NOW I'm pissed! *pulls out lawnmower* BWA HA HA HA!
Sergio: Dammit our numbers are going down. Tarzan-Franky, i say its time we called upon your crotch powers!
*Tarzan-Franky does many pelvic thrusts and Emily chops the distempered winged squirrels to sushi*
Lauren: Mmmm...distempered winged squirrel sushi
*Mrs.baldwin up in her castle looks at her crystal ball*
Mrs.baldwin: dammit! They've gotten my squirrels...no matter. It's time for me to take out the MUTANT VEGETABLES!!!!!!
Lauren: Did someone just say mutant vegtables?
*our heros celebration is ended as huge vegetable creatures attack them*
Lauren: NOOO! BROCOLLI! I LOVED YOU! HOW COULD YOU TURN ON ME!?
Brocolli: Shut up and fight bitch!
Lauren: *sobs*
CARROT MUTANT (to emily): YOU KILLED MY COUSINS!!! THOSE ROSES NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!
*captures emily*
Lauren: NOOOO! EMILY!
*Lauren still crying*
Sergio: Lauren snap out of it!*smacks her a bunch of times* Emily needs your help!
Lauren: But sergio....I LOVED that brocolli!
Sergio: Lauren...there are other vegtables in the garden...besides, that brocolli sucks anyway...
Sergio: ...and well i heard him saying some nasty stuff about enzo and bob having a love affair!
Lauren: WHAT!? HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!
Lauren: (xena cry) LALALALLALALY!
Brocolli: oh crap!
*Lauren makes a vegatable platter with all the mutant thingy*
Lauren: *to Janis the Elf and the Rikki Slaves* Would you like some carrot poppers...I made them out of the toes!
Janis the Elf and Rikki Slaves: Thats.....um......ok.
Tarzan-Franky: *pouts* I didn't even to get use my crotch
Mrs.baldwin on speakers: you will all die!!!
*everyone disappears except Sergio, Lauren, and Tarzan-Franky*
Sergio: Gasp! They've all been captured!
Tarzan-Franky: We're the only ones left!!!
Lauren: Gah!
Sergio: I wonder how she got speakers in this cave...
Tarzan-Franky: Guys this is a bad time to mention it but...my crotch.....well I'm having some problems.
Lauren: Oh dear lord! What will we do without your magic crotch?!
Sergio: I have some viagra!
Lauren: Sergio you're a genuis!
Tarzan-Franky: Actually I've got some warts on it.
Lauren: Who did you get warts from?
Tarzan-Franky: Ummmmmmm...
Sergio and Lauren: Ewwwww man!
Lauren: Where are we gonna get herpes cream at a time like this!?
Sergio: Wait a minute you didnt get them from Rikki Slave girl #1 did you?
Tarazn-Franky: nope.
Sergio: Well thats a relief!
Lauren: Ewwww man!
Tarzan-Franky and Sergio: What?
Lauren: *sighs exasperatedly* Nothing! Men!
Mrs.baldwin on speakers again: As a woman i understand Lauren, join me on the side against these men! With their rock music and penises!!!
Lauren: You're not a woman! YOURE A MONSTER AND WE ARE TAKING YOU DOWN SISTER! AND PLUS! I LIKE ROCK MUSIC! And penises but not nearly as much but thank you anyway for the offer!
Mrs. Baldwin: No prob......but you will either join me or DIEEEEEEEE!
Lauren: Eh well you win some you lose some.
*Mrs. Baldwin appears in front of the 3 remaining heros*
Lauren: GAH! HOW DO YOU DO THAT!?
Sergio: Tarzan-Franky! Use your crotch!
Tarzan-Franky: I'm trying!!!!!!!
Mrs.Baldwin: Foolish boy! You're crotch is no match for me! *blasts Tarzan-Franky and he falls unconcious to the floor*
Sergio and Lauren: Gasp!!!!
Lauren: Quick sergio, do you have any super powers?
Sergio: Well i vowed never to do this again but its our only hope!
Sergio: COVER YOUR EARS LAUREN!!!!
Lauren: OK!
*Sergio starts rolling his R's*
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Mrs.baldwin: NO NO NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!! DAMN YOUR HISPANIC TONGUE!!!
Lauren: Keep it up Sergio!
Sergio: Just for that! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Mrs.Baldwin: NOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOO WHAT A WORLD WHAT A WORLD!!!!!!
*Mrs.baldwins head explodes*
*Sergio, tired falls to the floor*
Lauren: Yes score! *Gives Sergio high five* Way to go!
Sergio: We did it Lauren!
*Everyone comes out from where they're held captive*
Everyone: YAAAAAAYYY!
Mrs.Baldwin: *rising from ashes* I wouldn't be celebrating if I were you!!!!
Everyone: GOD! JUST GO AWAY!
Mrs.Baldwin: Ok....*goes back into ashes*
Catilin of Sherwood: Come on! Let's go find the elves and my dear Jonny boy!
*goes crazy on the ashes with her dust buster!!!*
*suddenly the whole cave falls down and turns into a beautiful meadow. the mutant vegetables turn back to vegetables and the distempered winged squirrels turn into to happy go lucky winged squirrels*
*there in the middle of it all is "sammy" and janis' elf clan*
Janis: MOTHER!
Mrs.Dingle: DAUGHTER!!!
*runs to an elf that looks just like her...actually they all look just like her*
Sergio: What the hell? They all look exactly the same?
Rikki #1 and 2 to each other: What a bunch of freaks!
Caitlin of Sherwood: SAMMY!
Sammy: ORVILLE!
Sergio: Orville?
Lauren:*Gasp!* Orville?....that's the name of my long lost SISTER!
Caitlin: That's my real name!
Lauren: Wow caitlin! You really ARE my long lost sister!
Caitlin: Sister!
Lauren: Brother! I mean sister!
Sergio: Well...that was weird.
Lauren: Just another day in the life of THE ULTIMATE WOMAN! and Sergio!
Sergio: Wait a minute this was too easy.
Spleen: Yeah just a walk in the park!
Sergio: No really somethings eary about this all.
Emily: That's eerie and yes I agree..For instance...where's my owl?
Mrs.Baldwin's disembodied voice: Damn I knew I forgot something *ashes rise up* BWA HA HA
Sergio: I knew it! It's Cher!!!!!
*Mrs.Baldwin morphs into CHER!*
Cher: Yes! It's me you fools now nobody moves or Athena gets it!
Sergio: And we thought it was Mrs.Baldwin!
Cher: Well i was Mrs.Baldwin for a while, I wanted Tarzan-Franky and Lauren to suffer in my class!
Lauren: I KNEW those HW assignments were too harsh! DIE!
Cher: I NEVER DIE! THANKS TO PLASTIC SERGIO (heh oops) I MEAN SURGERY! AND REINCARNATION!
Sergio: Plastic Sergio?
Sergio: Well we've killed you before and we'll do it again! get her emily!
Emily:*on lawn mower* NO ONE TOUCHES MY OWLLLLLLLLL! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Cher: AHHHHHHH I'LL BE BACK IN THE SEQUEL! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Emily: My poor little owl!
Athena: Hoot Hoot translates to im ok
Lauren: *lights match* Bye bye Cher. *burns pile of body parts*
Sergio: Well everyone this has been a hell of a joureny but me and Rikki Slave Girl #1 and 2 must be off.
Sergio: Actually Tarzan-Franky for all your help you can keep Rikki Slave Girl #2
Lauren: Wait i forgot he's still unconcious.
Janis the Elf: Oops.
Tarzan-Franky:* wakes up* Where am I? I had the weirdest dream and you were there and you were there and you were there and I had warts on my dick!
Lauren: Sorry bud that wasn't a dream.
*Tarzan-Franky checks his crotch*
Tarzan-Franky: NOOOO! DAMMIT RIKKI SLAVE GIRL #2!!
Sergio: I knew it!!!!
Sergio: At least rikki #1 was faithful!
Rikki Slave Girl #1: Ummm...yeah...hehe...
Lauren: Oh God just cut to the credits!
*everyone starts dancing while credits continue to roll*
Rikki slave girls#1 #2 #3 #4...............Rikki
Janis the elf.............................Janis
Tarzan-Franky..............................Franky
Sergio....................................Sergio
Queen Lauren of Kukumunga..................Lauren
Caitlin of Sherwood.......................Caitlin Sherwood
Jessica the Giant..........................Jessica
Emily.....................................Emily
Spleen.....................................Sean
Mrs.Baldwin...............................Cher
Janis' Clan................................Janis
Athena the Owl............................Sparkles
Tarzan-Franky's Crotch.....................Yummy
John Milton...............................Sammy Clatterbuck
Ultimate Women Tribe.......................Random Women
Avalanche.................................John Cusack
Mother Avalanche...........................Jennifer Love Hewitt
Lawn Mover................................Tom Cruise
Ferocious Beast............................Ferocious Beast
Vegetable Mutants.........................Baha Men
Winged Squirrels...........................Sergio's backyard cats
GET THE SOUNDTRACK!!!!!!!
asshole jesus