Last night I read the most incredible story on yahoo!!! "F.B.I. Issues Warning Against Almanacs"
It was hilarious!!! "Terrorists are suspected of using almanacs to plan attacks... The F.B.I. would like to encourage local law enforcement to search persons carrying almanacs in their car that appear to be suspiciously annotated..."
I felt so inspired to run down to my local bookstore and buy an almanac. I couldn't wait to grab hold of it and any highligher I could get my hands on. Yet what would you consider "suspiciously annotated?" If I highlighted the weather section in orange and the city section in pink... Would that be considered suspiciously annotated?
Then the story disappeared, barely making it on the headlines of the web... Of course, it probably doesn't take a genius to figure out why..... As the guy in charge of a major alamanc company said... "You can get most of the information contained in an almanac from the web...."
So now I understand... No one wanted to look like an idiot releasing a story like that... because only an idiot would honestly think that the information wasn't available on the web these days.... I mean get with the frickin' times..... Rumor has it that you can even get plans to make a bomb on the internet... Why the hell would you use a frickin' almanac to get vital stats? Seach engines work so much faster..... Yet I can't help to wonder... Were you just using this as an excuse to encourage local law enforcement to violate our fourth ammendment rights even further.... "Sorry Mr. John Q. Citizen... We don't have to show a warrant to search your car... We have probable cause because of that there almanac..."
What exactly do you hope to gain by issuing warnings on almanacs? Lengthen your monitoring list (You do realize you'll have children on this list... yes?) Another lame ass excuse to search someone without real probable cause? Or was someone just frickin' bored out of their mind and decided to issue this warning?
You can always answer my questions... I'm sure you have my e-mail, my home address, my home phone, or you can sign my guestbook :).
Sincerely,
Insert Cool Nickname Here