PocKy: you teeny bopper
Jaded: yeah, totally. "oh my god, like, nsync, is sooo hot, i'm in love with jc, he's my future husband, ahhh!"
PocKy: excuse me while i puke in the toilet, cuz we all know JUSTIN is the hottest!!!!
Jaded: hahaha
PocKy: oops. i better start watching what i say in front of you, you actually save these things
Jaded: yeah, i do. muahahahaha...
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new quotes are in green
"do you think that you can be 'just friends' with him? and if not, it may be safer to just cut things off. i know it'll be hard, but in the long run, you'll be saving yourself a lot of hardship. that's the practical answer. my other solution is to shave off his ex's hair so that he's not attracted to her anymore and falls in love with you." -me
"ok so there are these guys down the hall that are always shirtless, you know, there are like 4 or 5 of them. and i figure if they are always shirtless that i can do it too, right?? does it work that way? because one day i just want to sit at my computer topless and see what happens." -ali
"hmm i want to make chili, but i'm afraid of the consequences." -pocky
"shut up. it's a pg movie. are you gonna wear yourself out." -ranita
"oh, uh, i listed you as a reference." -me
"they better not call me." -pocky
"my friend ally is like, see how long it takes for him to break down; cause if he wants to sleep with you he'll do it. she's curious." -ranita
"an experiment! excellent." -me
"what date do you choose? and how much are you willing to wager?" -ranita
"'if you could please remove it, i would be much obliged.' is that too formal?" -me
"no, just too south'n." -pocky
"no, seriously, i had to hide behind my couch. i scared the cat with my wailing." -me
"oh my god, this is my best friend." -ali
"i have a paper due thursday." -me
"yucky. just leave it for wednesday night then." -ranita
"right. like i haven't learned anything from TODAY." -me
"nope. you say this everytime." -ranita
"...i know... dammit. but this is the second to last time i'll ever have to say it!!!" -me
"hm, maybe i should pay attention in class today." -me
"... ?????????" -pocky
"::shrug:: i thought i might try something new." -me
"you wanna take this outside." -me
"yeah, i do. see you in three hours. BITCH." -ranita
"i don't understand your gender." -me
"not much to understand." -pocky
"children are feral." -dr. weisl
"oh shit, vday is coming. i wonder how much i should pay for a date this year." -pocky
"it's good to be a jew." -ranita
"if you had any doubts, i don't think this one is gay." -pocky
"OR...get some 5 minute ass from those sluts in mahwah. ...i just made that up. i don't really know if they're slutty in mahwah." -me
"what up, Yellow Fever? that would be your Kill Bill name." -chris
"it's like the world." -steph (on my new green/blue bowling ball)
"god, i hope she can't procreate." - ranita (on jessica simpson)
"when i grow up, i'm going to be pessimistic." -my 8 year old cousin, morgan
"i just bought new lingerie so i have to hide it from my mom." -ranita
"she's like an undercover whore." -ranita (on britney spears)
"i like this one, i don't know what it is." -marylou
"i got the new camera phone. the best phone i've ever had. you can catch people doing something that they don't want caught. without them knowing. i just pretend to get a text message." -ranita
"we would bust her balls all the time. ...her proverbial balls, she's a woman." -jen d.
"man, i wish i was my own girlfriend." -ranita
"it's the god show." -phil
"i'm not lying; i'm just telling him what he wants to hear." -ranita
"i want someone to invent toilet paper in printer sheet sizes. that way i can actually wipe my ass with this shit and then hand it in." -chris
"oh boy, barry watson got fat. fat in the face. 'xander-fat' in the face." -ranita
"EWWWW, orange plus white = PINK???? yellow to the rescue!!" -pocky
"omg, i'm a lesbian. i am dating a total WOMAN." -me
"!!! did i just see that right? I KNEW IT!!!! spike couldn't be dead. ok ok..too excited..umm who's spike? what were we talking about?" -daven
"i feel like you're a really tall person, and i'm looking up and asking you to warn me when it rains so i can run to get my umbrella." -ranita
"sometimes i think why am i so smart and i am not a man?" -mom
"he's like the sister i never had." -me
"i scoff at your expectations." -me
"why do i always end up being gay in your profile." -pocky
"teaching my dad how to check his voicemail is akin to teaching a dog to jump through a hoop, and then find the basis of the space spanned by a set of vectors." -pocky
"all guys do that same dance. you pick up one foot, move a little, set it down, pick up the other." -chris
"you can only be so hot before it starts to impact you mentally." -daven
"i'm addicted to lazy." -pocky
"i love dirty clubbing." -chris
"my keyboard sucks. it makes me look like a dumbass." -pocky
"i have no idea how to explain that." -ali
"i didn't know if it would be possible to have fun without resorting to liquor." -pocky
"this feels like school, what the heck?" -andrew
"lemme just whip [up] this 100 dollars i have. i stored it up my ass so i would only spend it during emergencies." -ranita
"why can't you ever say anything incriminating to me." -pocky
"he's like, two nims." -andrew
"i think i sexed myself into hunger." -ranita
"seriously, why is it always the hot ones? ranita has this theory that they're so pretty they fall in love with themselves, and that's why they're gay." -me
"i'm restricted to a one mile radius of jhu. they have a force field trapping us. that, and a limit on where the free shuttle will take us. but basically the same thing." -andrew
"yeah, last minute work is my best work ...or my only work." -me
"frisky, you're in jail." -uncle keith
"in abnormal psychology we call them crazies. and that is the technical term." -andrew
"yeah, i'll tell her you told me you'd kick both her asses." -jen (i think)
"i got the itis!" -eryn
"i guess i could wander around fell's point and see what happens. who knows, maybe if i'm lucky i can get robbed AND stabbed." -andrew
"everytime i try to elevate our little back and forth, you gotta drag me right back down to the rice paddies." -chris
"i am bad at having stupid convos. i can't keep up." -pocky
"we're a soundbyte nation." -prof. stevens
"lost spectacularly at beer pong. i made one shot tho. that was awesome. it was like, the birth of baby jesus. a miracle." -me
"i feel rich when i come here now." - ali
"cuz she's a blabber!" - jen d.
"it's like she bought a sack full of hot." -pocky
"i was trying to think what i did all weekend. i think nothing." -pocky
"ew, he's such a bag of vagina juice." -jen d.
"what's his dream, let's destroy it." - phil
"we're all sitting here, talking like it's the 1800's. we coulda been watching tv!" -gabe
"shoot this joke, bury it and never talk about it again." -chris
"bad asian american, bad!" -lester
"what kind of chink are you?" -pocky
(whispering) "there goes my enemy." -tanika
"so i think i raped my perception test." -ranita
"yeah and we were talking last night, me and kevin, and he was like 'i want to make this last as long as humanly possible.' i was like ew..... so i told him i had to go, my boyfriend was gonna call soon." -ali
"i wish i had more tastebuds." -me
"my hair can touch my hair under my armpit." -ali
"i'm too old for dirty vagina." -ez
"i would type out that i'm rolling my eyes, except i would rather not waste the effort it would take into typing that i was rolling my eyes." -pocky
"omg, it's so windy out, i can hear the trees wanting to come inside." -nim
�god hasn't shook my hand yet so i don't know if he is there or not but i like to think he is.� -dan
"my lips are like mush." -ali
"man, my english lit class, i swear, it exists in another dimension where time has no meaning." -me
"i think a whole bunch of people got together and wrote a book while they were drunk or high, saw a dog walk by, and he was dyslexic so he said �we'll call this guy god.� and it was too late to change it because it was written in stone. and there were no erasers." -dan (on the existence of god)
"i hear what you're saying, and thank you, but you know i'm not really hearing what you're saying." �me
"imagine it's middle school ok, and they're picking teams for kick ball. i got picked last. it sucks to be picked last, cuz you know who gets picked last? the kid who sucks at kick ball. lol, of course, he didn't have any problem with me rounding the bases.." �me
"some girls are for f*cking, others are for dating. who do you want to be?" -ranita
�you know, i put in no time, no effort, and what don�t i get? nothing.� -nim
"alison wants to wake up christmas morning to find him wrapped in nothing but a bow." -me
"my dad thinks any guy who doesn't like me must be gay." -jen
"i didn't even see the cookie after i bought it. it just went straight to my stomach." -amy
"i was expecting the greatest thing since the flushing toilet. instead i saw more like an outhouse." -gerris from cabs
"ok, that takes guts. i'm just worried about those same guts being splattered all over the floor." -jen
"that guy's really cute. run him over with the car cuz then i could give him CPR." -ali
"i�m so easily manipulated. i�m like a salesman�s wet dream." -me
"he's got his testicles tied in like, girl scout knots." -jen
"yeh, so i heard chris f*cked you up the ass." -jon
"he has such sexy ankles..." -ali
"what are you trying to be, *different?*" -guido
"our conversation has just hit a new low, i think." -chris
"you can argue with me, you're entitled to. but you WILL be wrong." -mark from cabs
"i could kick anybody's ass. ...you know, if they were tied down and unconscious..." -me
"i took a lie test...i had to lie." -jen
"i didn't mean to sound mean. it just came out that way." -steve (aka blockbuster boy)
"he must have good taste in ass then." -nim
�i would probably take advantage. �uh, i mean take charge.� �daniel from shu
"who spiked the vodka?" -heather
�my aunt says my eyes are brown cuz i�m full of shit.� -chris
"look like he was eating a bucket of ugly and got it all over his face." -philip
"my conscience is bleeding." -me
"flute-toting drummer dork. does she do things with her drum stick like the flute girls do?" -mikie
"maybe this is that thing where i always thought i was split personality and no one's supposed to tell me." -jen
�oh, he�s openly gay, but i saw him kiss a girl and now i�m confused.� �ray from shu
"then i could spend all my time with the hottest santa claus in the world..." -ali
"i know fat, balding men with more cleavage than me." -me
"i can't hear you, you'll have to whisper." -minibell
"if they cut loose, you'd better be able to smell it. that's how close you gotta be." -mike from cabs
�the mail up here's about as efficient as the dead pony express.� -jen
�the cops are really frugal here. �did i do that right?� �keith from shu
"it's a good thing i don't have a real job. i'd get fired, or quit, or go insane. whichever came first." -me
"that's almost funny, i was about to laugh, but then i decided not to." -nim
"how do you spell hickey?" -sue
"you're starting to grow on me like a cancer." -jen
"i'm ready, got my fridge measured out so i can fit the MOST amount of beer possible." -chris from shu
�you think if i wear a shake well sticker on my ass people will notice?� �flabs
"we can take any tune and make it latin. just change the title and add some congas." -chris from cabs
"lol. ...(but in reality, i'm not laughing)." -me
"i wish i was asleep right now..." -andrew
�i know animals in hibernation that sleep less than you.� �jen
"they should have a store that sells guys." -ali
"was it love at first imaginary sight?" -ranita
"kiss my yellow ass." -sue
"i'm not trying to sound conceited or anything. i'm just really that good." -joe from shu
"sorry, i'm having trouble answering the question, i'm laughing so hard." -me
"son of a gun, my penis is on the run." -nim
"why is it that everywhere you go in brandeis is uphill?" -ranita
"you know the phrase 'it's not about winning, it's about being the best you can be?' yeh well, losing sucks." -mark from cabs
"my train of thought ran off the tracks." -me
�in my day, we watched Phil Donahue, a *real* show.� �professor younger
"get a new 'the guy.'" -chris
�listen alan, i�m in the middle of an argument here; we don�t need any outside help.� �keith from shu
"would you quit bothering me, i was counting my keyboard buttons. now i have to start over." -mark
"you'll be seeing him the entire summer. the entire *hot* summer. in which, of course, in order to cool down, one must strip off his shirt... ...what about the pants, it's too hot for pants, don't you think?" -me
"he thinks he's a castle." -jen
"everyone in the world and their mother came in today." -ranita
"back the f*ck up before i bust a cap bitch, that ain't KFC so get off my leg." -nim
"hey, look. we got the old guy excited." -mike from cabs
"want a drink? 5 bucks." -little brian (i think he's 6 yrs old)
"i hung out with the deftones. who wants to touch me?� -jen
"this song was on MTV and there was like, no song cuz the whole thing was bleeped out." -ali
�yeh, but she was ugly, so her opinion doesn�t count.� �eryn
"even if you knew what you were doing, you wouldn't know what you were doing." -bob
"yeh, i don't know what the f*ck his problem is, but i bet it's very hard to pronounce." -me
�whoa, it just got fiesty outside.� �philip
�[he] sounds to be a decent guy...a bit of a asshole sometimes--but all
guys are like that and guys that aren't like that ALL the time are the keepers.� -audrey
"we're getting ghetto back here!" -brian from cabs
�your school makes pyros.� �jen
"i overthrew safeway management. but decided it wasn't for me so i abdicated and went on as a common cashier." -chris
"i wouldn't have been so upset that seinfeld was canceled if i knew i was going to meet you and it was going to be this good."-nim
"jen, you really think you're invincible, don't you." -me
"i mean, i swear, some guys are so dense. what did he think you meant? you wanted to play parcheesi?!" -eryn
"please don't suck, i'd like to go on." -chris from cabs (the one who looks like tom selleck)
"don't tell anyone we're not doing anything. maybe they won't notice..." -ali
"you have no idea where you're going and everybody's following you??" -me
"i can totally see where he's coming from, and it's a very ugly and lofty place." -jen
"as i get older, i find it harder to get excited...wait a minute..." mark from cabs
�ok, could you please stop humping the air? i�d really appreciate it.� �lori from shu
"i am the nicest person in the world, and i'll kick anybody's ass who says otherwise." -me
"i'm sorry, were you saying something. fictional characters on a TV show seemed more interesting, sorry." -nim
"that was one of the only conversations i've ever heard where the same thing's being said over and over, and it's still a conversation." -scott
"sean, that's a pretty cooler." -rick from cabs
"sometimes, there *is* no deeper level. you scratch the surface, and there's just more surface." -me
"i like guys with lips." -ranita
"nah, i love the guy, it�s just, i wanna kill him.� �ray from shu
"the boy can't spell for SHIRT." -jen
�but then we�d die virgins. well, maybe not me.� �me (contemplating death while driving through the ghetto part of downtown Newark at 3 in the morning)
"ladies, gentlemen, and jeremy." -jt from cabs
"i love them like a fat man loves an all you can eat bar. like an anorexic loves throwing up." -nim
"what are you doing on at this time of day, shouldn't you be outside actually seeing that giant orb of fire in the sky you keep hearing people talk about? -chris
"you want a piece? ...of my muffin, ali, not the drumline." -me
"musicians- they're funny." -bob
"the best way to get a chick is to be nice to them. it's like fishing. once she swallows that bait you yank the hook and reel her in. once she's in the boat you can fry her up." -mikie
"cept with him, there isn't that underlying �i'm gonna rape you� feel to it either..." -me
"i went and saw nutty professor II. you know saying that, doesn't it sound like a bad porn name?" -chris
"seems like a pretty long time for a shower, we wouldn't be focusing on one aspect for too long now would we? that's right, i thought so. you know, you make me sick. how long could it honestly take? is it to humiliate us, is it? that you get to do it for longer? ya know, that�s just plain mean and disturbing. so it doesn't take us as long, big deal. everyday we have to live with it. just once, just once i would like to see a girl wash her hair for less then 10 minutes, jeez." -nim
"you are illegal in every way." -jeremy from cabs
"no, no, i could see how you'd get alison mixed up with sherri. ...if you were deaf." -bob
"her brain is a wind tunnel." -jen
�i�ve heard some girls rip ass.� �joe from shu
"i had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. i think it's bleeding." -me
�we�re all going to hell.� �me (for laughing at a handicapped guy. we couldn�t help it! it was funny. really, if you had been there, you�d�ve laughed too.)
"you need cable like a 16 year old boy needs the internet." -nim
"who's brian? the small, loud one?" -morgan
"i'm looking at his sexy saddlebags." -ali
"stop sucking, start blowing." -mike from cabs
"there *is* no right or wrong, so stop arguing about it cuz i'm RIGHT." -me
"i don't even *know* her and she's embarrassing me." -ali
"i'll kick god's ass if i have to. ...nah, god's cool, i wouldn't have to do that." -jen
"boys suck." -ranita
"only if you're lucky." -pocky
"who's this stephanie person..." -me
"yeah, i dunno, i just deleted it." -pocky
"wasn't joshua jackson gay in this movie? ...or am i thinking of something else." -me
"no, you're on the right track; he looked gay." -ranita
"i can't win, pocky." -me
"that's cuz you're a loser." -pocky
"how do you change a guy?" -ranita
"with a lotta patience...and no bj's." -me
"wow, it's really snowing." -me
"will you shovel outside." -mom
"aw man. i knew i shouldn't have imed you." -me
"i need ur help. i HAVE to find these boots." -ranita
"i HAVE to finish this paper. i only have an hour." -me
"this is more important i think. thankyouverymuch." -ranita
"you've ignored guys that have come up to you in the bar...and if you haven't, you've at the very least accepted free drinks from people you had absolutely no interest in." -daven
"well, sure. free!" -me
"which is just as bad." -daven
"what?" -me
"or worse!" -daven
"they're the ones offering!" -me
"come on. you know why they are offering." -daven
"exactly. and what jerks for thinking i'm that easy that i'll trade it for a free drink; they deserve to part with their drinks." -me
"bitch." -daven
"do they have food there?" -steph
"they have a snack bar. i don't know if you could call it food." -me
"who taught you that?" -mom
"tv." -me
"sherri, we're hopeless." -pocky
":( let's go buy some lottery tickets." -me
"why don't we just go to AC." -pocky
"but it's not in the bajillions." -me
"but there's a better chance of winning." -pocky
"i want enough money to buy michael rosenbaum." -me
"did you bring back candy?" -me
"i brought back some...not a lot. i ate most of it while i was there. i have serious pant-fitting issues." -ali
"i get crabs just looking at the kid." -me
"so? i could deal with crabs for that much ass." -daven
"we had rehearsal today, and now i'm in charge of coaching the girls how to walk." -me
"oh, you got the strut down." -pocky
"oh i got the strut down. i watched the 'victoria's secret' fashion show." -me
"barbie and ken broke up. there is no hope for anyone. what kind of message is [this] sending to the youth out there?" -ranita
"that the 1:2 ratio of divorce in this country isn't limited to animate couples?" -me
"so how many finals do you got left?" -me
"one." -steph
"ah. tomorrow?" -me
"no, thurs? or fri?" -steph
"hehe, you can tell she's real stressed." -pocky
"please, i'm not like you guys who have to have it every second. i think i can abstain for a week." -me
"not every second. i mean, when would we eat or watch 'sportscenter?'" -chris
"k, i'm gonna put up an away message in the pretense of doing something." -me
"hah. you're only fooling yourself." -pocky
"maybe it'll work." -me
"i did that before. i just ended up watching tv." -pocky
"secret santa was 2 yrs ago. [pocky] says they'll prolly do it this year." -me
"yeah, they are. gabe's setting it up now. i don't wanna, i'm broke." -steph
"hahaha." -me
"i really don't. cuz like, i still have to buy for other people. you know, like people i like." -steph
"i've already decided what to get you and the best part is...it's not on your list!!!!!" -pocky
"oh damn. i guess that means it wasn't lex." -me
"he's mine." -pocky
"you bitch! i'll fight you for him." -me
"but as always when i'm with alex, i lose. you know, i lost more than a thousand dollars to him over a year on stupid bets." -daven
"everybody loses to alex: money, virginities..." -me
"...are you drooling??" -me
"yes i am, what a hot sexy bastard." -ali
"did you send her my picture again." -pocky
"do you want to know a secret? you know how guys are really into cars and other expensive things; that is only because you women are all about material stuff. if we could get away with it, we would pick you up in a soap box derby car and take you to Wendy's." -chris
"oh please. not all girls are like that." -me
"no. the ones that aren't have a special name: nuns." -chris
"like, seriously, have you gone boarding at all this winter?" -me
"i'm going saturday!" -pocky
"you loser! how come you didn't invite me. hahaha, j/k." -me
"cuz i don't want to leave early again. OHHHH!!!!!!" -pocky
"you're really obsessed." -pocky
"told you. it's a good thing i don't have to date or anything. i'm kinda scary." -me
"need to find a way to style my hair. blah blah blah." -ranita
"ah, the crises you go through..." -me
"what is your favorite color?" -pocky
"um...blue/purple." -me
"ok, too bad." -pocky
"and that's all she had? pasta with butter and salt. oh my god, how is she not fat?" -me
"how is she not dead." -phil
"so what are you going to do?" -me
"cry." -ranita
"good plan." -me
"thanks. i knew you'd like it." -ranita
"that's pretty much my plan as well. actually, no, my plan was 'bitch and moan.' not necessarily in that order." -me
"doner used to call me 'scars' cause i fell offa his car and had scars from it. it lasted a long time but when doner left it sorta went away." -daven
"how do scars go away?? they're SCARS." -me
"no no, you stupid bitch, the NAME went away." -daven
"too bad i ate breakfast today." -me
"eh, you can still eat a brownie. i know you can do it!" -ali
"[here's] the definition of intellectual whore." -me
"OMG. i am an intellectual whore. how am i going to tell my parents?" -chris
"lex in pjs! no more straitjacket :-( but pjs are ok, i guess." -me
"now that's something i just can't miss.....:-* " -daven
"why do you want a nickname?" -ranita
"everybody else has one." -me
"i don't. haha nerd." -ranita
"that means You're the nerd." -me
"i do have one. i just wanted you to feel better." -ranita
"see???" -me
"whoa! and then you have one more semester and you're done forever! FOREVER." -ali
"hahaha, yeah. unless i go to grad school." -me
"oh well, for the purpose of this conversation, you're not." -ali
"yay minority thanksgiving!" -me
"i had 2 white definites, and they were both last-minute cancels." -pocky
"those canceling gwai los." -me
"oh, you want to come up there with me?" -me
"to stalk some guy .. sure that sounds like something i'd love to do." -daven
"so whose gift is better?" -nim
"i put you up in the air!" -me
"i got you one of spike's balls." -nim
"cool, because phil wants to too, and we need to go bowling. just not wednesday night." -ali
"well no, cuz that's when we're having thanksgiving. i'd say thursday, but you know, the Actual thanksgiving may hinder that." -me
"pssh, we're british." -ali
"oh i got a name for you! 'throbbing pain.'" -daven
"how bout something a little less...vulgar." -me
"maybe just 'pain.'" -daven
"great. and then your name could be 'in the ass.'" -me
"perfect. i'll make shirts." -daven
"by the way, AWESOME icon." -ali
"thank you, thank you. you should see my background." -me
"oh geez.....it may be safer if i don't." -ali
"i love how he manages to mention that he has a girlfriend every time he ims me." -me
"which hand is it this week?" -pocky
"you know what, i think i have problems. i'm always doing stuff...yet i'm always bored." -daven
"that just means you're normal." -me
"that dance! the white boy dance." -me
"*i* don't dance like that. am i gay?" -pocky
"yeah, but i don't like lana, so i was like, good." -me
"you never like the other girls." -ali
"they're mine, dammit, MINE!" -me
"lol. someone's jealous." -ali
"they're mine, dammit, MINE!" -my AIM auto response
"not if i get them First." -pocky
"...i'm talking about clark and lex." -me
"...me too." -pocky
"why didn't you go to the graduation?" -my 5 yr old cousin, abby
"i had to work." -me
"oh, you're a grown-up now?" -abby
"how old are you?" -my 5 yr old cousin, abby
"i'm 21." -me
"oh, you're still a kid!" -abby
"how old do you have to be to be a grown-up?" -me
"37." -abby
"well maybe you and those other men need to spend some more time making yourselves pretty." -me
"why?" -daven
"you're losing all your women to the gay guys! the gay HOT guys." -me
"yeah...but no..we aren't, cause you all need dick, and you ain't getting that from gay guys. don't lie, you know you need it." -daven
"but they're so pretty... i could just spend all day looking at the pretty." -me
"yeah until you needed the cock..then all the pretty in the world ain't gonna satisfy you." -daven
"and that's why god invented dildos." -me
".....:-( " -daven
"hahahaha. i'm just kidding. god definitely did not invent that." -me
"where you gonna go?" -me
"Loyola, University of MD, maybe even VJC, depends on what's offered. the first two are some of the best accounting grad schools on the west coast. and if VJC gets a forensic master program it will be the only one in the state." -chris
"yo. we're on the east coast. what Are they teaching you in that state." -me
"i am aware. that was the point." -chris
"... university of md...is one of the best on the west coast..." -me
"accounting-wise." -chris
"but..it's on the east coast..." -me
"you know, certain grad school specialize in certain fields. ... i am an idiot. don't know who the hell is controlling my fingers." -chris
"LOL! ahh, i'm dying. hahaha, that was awesome." -me
"hey, i ain't a damn geography major." -chris
"hee! ok, i'm done. lol. ok, now i'm done." -me
"i work on sophisticated material all week and you laugh because i am occasionally an idiot." -chris
"yes." -me
"july 19th is the cabs clifton show." -ali
"GAH. i'm going to the shore that weekend." -me
"no!!! why can't you ever just stay here??" -ali
"my mom on the fab 5: 'are they really gay??'" -me
"who?" -pocky
"the guys from queer eye. anyway, it's good! i love it. and kyan's hot. it's always the hot ones :( " -me
"what is the difference between a girl liking you and a girl being friendly just to be friendly?" -chris
"yeah, that's a tough one. i'm not sure that i can actually give you an answer on that one. it really depends on the type of girl." -me
"you females. if you would just show up at our houses naked, it would help." -chris
"the CUTE one." -me
"oh yeah, cause that's obvious or something." -daven
"it's ok, you don't have to admit it." -me
"no no, i mean all of them are seemingly good looking as far as men go, so how am i supposed to know which one you like? and if you put that in your profile i WILL kill you" -daven
"i wanna go to hershey park. never been." -me
"hersey park....that's not a road trip! that's the state next to us! that's no roadtrip!! you have to at least be a state away from jersey." -ali
"but...there's driving involved." -me
"or the next country over! where i can drink!" -ali
"aw, i'm kinda sad." -me
"about him being a prick?" -ranita
"yeah. it's like that time i found out santa claus wasn't real." -me
"hehe i wish i could get my pic with buffy or her sister whatever her name is." -daven
"or that tall potential slayer, i know you loved her." -me
"yeah...totally...or not i'd just kick that bitch in the face." -daven
"if i see her, i'll kick her for you." -me
"please. and give buffy and her sister a nice hug and squeeze their asses. for me of course." -daven
"sure! i might as well just get multiple restraining orders. one for kicking that girl in the face, another for touching sarah michelle gellar and michelle trachtenberg's asses, and a third for mauling james marsters." -me
"um, we're just getting a sundae." -me
"oh. i'll just have some of yours." -phil
"uh, no. i'm eating it all." -me
"fatty." -phil
"that's right." -me
"i'd save some for you, but i'm eating them all." -me
"i hate you." -pocky
"yeah, well, she turned into a psycho bitch." -me
"nice! what's her number." -pocky
"what would i do without you." -pocky
"live on the streets. in a cardboard box. next to my cardboard box! woo!" -me
"didn't you read it in high school?" -ali
"yes. but we have to read it in middle english." -me
"yes, and middle english is a loser." -ali
"...he's tall. and that's all i remember." -me
"lol ok, so i figured out your type....tall....and...um tall. 'oh and i like them when they are...tall. sometimes i go crazy ... and pick out the tall ones. but usually i just like em tall.'" -daven
"see, the big problem with the misunderstandings between guys and girls is girls." -chris
"uh huh. i see." -me
"you females think in what i like to call 'layers.' guys don't." -chris
"what would you have done if you saw him?" -pocky
"fainted." -me
"it's ok, i know i'm mentally older than you, so it balances." -me
"please. you can say that until i am about 35." -chris
"what happens at 35, you finally catch up?" -me
"well, more than likely my wife will have gotten me up to speed." -chris
"you wanna hear something so sad it's funny." -me
"will it make me sad?" -andrew
"maybe. but you'll laugh." -me
"i like those odds." -andrew
"i think i'm gonna go to atlantic city for mine. blow all my bday money on the slots." -me
"very similar. i was going to blow all my bday money on the sluts." -chris
"but you need to come up to ramsey sometime so i can give you your present." -ali
"woo, presents! it'd better be good to make up for you not coming." -me
"pssh...just for that you're getting a piece of gum." -ali
"i can't believe you did that." -ez
"it was all rainy, i couldn't see!" -me
"but still. it's a house. how can you miss a house." -ez
"ez has to go too. he owes me a game. is he good?" -me
"he's mexican." -pocky
"is that hugh heffner?" -phil
"probably. how much do you wanna bet he's impotent. wouldn't that be funny." -me
"when u say something like 'hands on experience' there's supposed to be a dash for hands-on right?" -pocky
"i think so, yes." -me
"wow i'm awesome. what can't i do." -pocky
"man, it's not even 1. we're so old." -me
"no, we just don't know where the parties are." -nim
"appropriate sparks are flying? -me
"i dunno. i wouldn't recognize a spark if one flew into my eye and burned my cornea." -pocky
"i think i need to shower and get ready for dinner." -flabs
"dinner? it's 2:40." -me
"yea. well i'm gonna stumble around for a few hours." -flabs
"i think you're all talk, tho. you're like ez." -pocky
"hah, if i was like ez, i'd get more dates. but alas, not everyone can be mexican." -me
"how bout some other hot chics?" -mikie
"i don't like to make friends with hot chics. it makes me feel inferior." -me
"any ugly skinny chics? with huge boobs? and love sex?" -mikie
"actually, i don't have that many female friends. all my friends are guys. some of them are cute tho, if you want, i can hook ya up." -me
"if they have money, i can be gay. it happens. there comes a time in your life when you might have to make a sacrifice." -mikie
"the fbi saying there's gonna be an attack in the next few days is scary too." -me
"yeah it freaks me out. good thing there are no cool landmarks in livingston." -pocky
"we could hear the bed pounding against the wall." -me
"u can also spare me the details." -pocky
"apparently, the guy knew what he was doing..." -me
"i suppose u can see it that way... but i think that if he really knew what he was doing, he wouldn't be on the bed to begin with." -pocky
"yeh, i remember when i was a frosh. seems like yesterday." -eryn
"yeh, the good old...wait, no they weren't..." -me
"*i'm* playing lead soprano next year. or maybe i'll tackle the tenors." -me
"yeh, i *bet* you want to tackle the tenors..." -kristyn
"really. you gonna be there? front stage. screaming like a drunken idiot. notice how my statements aren't in question format." -me
"you don't scream like an idiot at these shows." -mikie
"oh man, it's one of *those* concerts. BORING." -me
"well, you've got more balls than i do." -me
"hey you have the same amount i do except yours is on the inside and mine are out, that's the only difference." -gordito
"well, alright. so you've got bigger balls than i do, let's just leave it at that." -me
"guys, that was some good steak." -brian
"how can you remember, you ate it so fast." -jt
"brian? eh, screw it. i'll never figure out all your connections..." -audrey
"s'ok. me neither. i thought the guy's name was ryan." -me
"guess where i am right now?" -me
"the mothership???" -ali
"i'm rooting for pacey." -me
"i'm rooting for joey to just take a long bath by herself and then have it turn into cinemax tv." -nim
"great, now i'm never gonna get to sleep." -me
"why, because you're dreaming of me covered in wonton soup?" -mikie
"no. the anticipation of killing her will keep me up all night." -me
"what are you doing?" -his friend that he was talking to on his cell while driving
"about 90." -chris (this guy we met on the highway)
"but, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, no?" -me
"yeah, i hope they don't mean abstinence." -jen
"you make it sound sooo tragic." -mikie
"yeh, i can see how the tone of my font could convey that." -me
�the other student said some things and then she started crying.� �professor younger
�and you just sat there??� �jessica from shu
�well i just sat there and enjoyed the drama.� �professor younger
"he says he has friends." -me
"ok, his hand and his penis don't count." -jen
"there's a crick in the board." -chris from cabs who was sitting on a rather creaky platform
"there's a prick on the board." -bob
"is there such a thing as a dumb dork?" -me
"yeh, it's called a loser." -audrey
"my computer's out to get me." -me
"just like the clowns, right." -nim
"i think i�m only gonna have two kids.� �me
�i want three. i want a whole volleyball team.� �sue
"you missed it, we were in the pool." -ryan
"we can go in the pool?" -me
"nah, we got caught." -ryan
"he might be a very sensitive guy." -eryn
"he might be a very stupid guy." -me
"i want you to play really really loud!" -ed from cabs
"you mean you want us to play with balls! i'm not afraid to say it." -brian
"wait, so what you're saying is you want us to play with testicular fortitude." -jt
"pfft. who needz lurning enyhow." -me
"well...some people, but not us... we be educated." �al from rpi
"well, does she want me to meet her parents to show them i'm not the raping kind?" -nim
"i'll ask, but i'm leaving out the raping part." -ali
"you are severely disillusioned." -kevin
"i like it that way." -ali
"oh well, you can only please one person at a time." -me
"that's not true. i can get into the dynamics of it if you want." -mikie
"what do you drink, blood?" -rich
"just my own." -me
"behind every woMAN, there's always a man." -nim
"yeh. staring at her ASS." -me
"i had no idea who he was, never saw the guy before in my life." -mark from cabs
"did you know his daughter?" -jt
"hey, how do you guys really feel about bob murray?" -mike from cabs
"he's my dad!" -jon
"why were you in victoria's secret again?" -me
"hey, it's strictly a comfort thing. i don't judge you do i?" -nim
"who sings this?" -bob to ali who was singing along to bills, bills, bills
"destiny's child." -ali
"yeh, let's keep it that way." -bob
"so you got to ct ok then, i presume." -me
"well i had to escape some gun wielding crack dealers, and a couple of homeless people who wanted my laptop as a pillow but yeah i did." -craig
"ok, if you were a can opener, where would you be?" -me
"opening up a can o' WHOOP ASS!!!" -nim
"itchy pinky again?" -me
"actually it was a joint effort by several fingers. they are being questioned as we speak." -chris
"watch out for that middle one. he's got an attitude." -me
"are you guys sleeping?" -brian
"not anymore." -me
�my nipple hurts..� �sue
�stop squeezing it!� �me
�oh please.� �me
�yeh, i hear that from a lot of girls.� �chris
�really, is it also accompanied by the rolling of the eyes and the exasperated look?� �me
�i don�t know, usually i can�t see their faces.� �chris
"well, if you paint your car orange and park it right next to that tractor in front of your apartment..i'm sure they won't know the difference." -me
"of course." -nim
"come on, it's a good idea!" -me
"just like painting my legs blue to save money on pants is a good idea. i can start a trend with the "exposed package" look. start timing how fast i can actually pull it off before I'M IN JAIL." -nim
"we must share the same brain cell or something..." -me
"i don't have enough to share." -chris
"yeh, didn't i tell you? i'm a closet loser." -me
"oh i'm out, baby." -jen
"no way, she couldn't hate me. i am irresistable, at least that is what i keep telling myself." -chris
"i'm every woman's desire, at least that's what the tapes tell me." -nim
�i don�t think that�s true, that jewish people are the best lovers.� -ranita
�well, when i find out, i�ll tell ya.� -me
�you are so crazy.� �eryn
�yeh, that�s what they keep telling me. but what do they know anyhow.� �me
�i have a job.� -me
�look, getting money from mom *and* dad isn't classified as a job.� -mikie
"i dreamed i was in a space shuttle crash last night. there were only 3 survivors. plus this little fuzzy brown rat which i kept. he burned his paws. but when i took him to the vet he turned into a little white kitten." -me
"you are really messed up. that would be my professional opinion if i interpreted dreams." -chris