The time frame for this fic is after the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai. That's the one that Goku won, so image that Chichi is pregnant with Gohan.
Attendant #2: "Number Six. Call for the Sixth Audition - Name Freeza."
[Freeza, in his base form, accompanied by Dodoria, Zarbon and the Ginyu force walk in.]
Bulma (looking at Zarbon): Kakkoii...
Yamcha (with no expression): "..."
Oolong and Muten Roshi (disappointed): "No women?"
[Oolong and Muten Roshi return to reading 'Play Bunny'.]
[The Ginyu force have arranged themselves slightly to the side of Freeza and co and are running through various poses, working up the their climatic final pose!]
Ginyu Force (leaping into their final pose): "GINYU FORCE!"
Everyone else (with sweat drops): "..."
[The Ginyu Force break ranks for a group high five.]
Ginyu: "Well done. Good form but Baata! You need to hold your hand a little higher.]
Director (sighing): "Which one of you is Freeza?"
Freeza: "I am."
Toriyama: "Assuming you're chosen, what are your goals?"
Freeza: "There is no question that I, Freeza-sama, will be chosen. My
goals are to become immortal and then to conquer the universe." (sniffs
distainfully) "I have to conquer it, since I am already the most powerful
warrior in the universe."
Toriyama: "Right. And what can you offer the series?"
Freeza (looking surprised): "I am Freeza-sama. What else is there?"
[Dodoria looks a bit angry that someone would question his master. But Zarbon steps forward.]
Zarbon (To Freeza): "Freeza-sama, why don't you let me answer this question?"
Freeza (waving his hand): "Go right ahead."
Zarbon: "Freeza-sama has much to offer the series. He is the leader of the intergalactic planet trade and so will bring a new slant to your series."
Toriyama (nodding and marking off something on his checklist): "A new take would be appreciated. Next question, can you transform?"
[Freeza and Zarbon nod, while Ginyu snickers.]
Director (looking at Freeza): "Demonstration please."
[Freeza's eyes narrowed dangerously.]
Zarbon (startled, to Freeza): "Freeza-sama! We'll never get in the show unless you keep these people happy."
Freeza (somewhat molified): "You should be honored. I don't do this for just anyone."
Toriyama: "I'm not just anyone. For this series, I am the Ulimate GOD. Remember that!"
[Piccolo and Kami-sama nod their agreement although neither looks to happy admitting to that fact.]
Freeza: "..."
[Freeza tensed himself up, and then blew off his armor as prelude to his actual transformation. His henchmen backed up and the Director and Toriyama threw their arms up to cover themselves from the wind that he was generating. Light travelled along Freeza's lines before with a flash his transformation was over.]
Toriyama (looking over the new Freeza before him and coughing through the dust): "Very nice."
Director (just nods once at Freeza before he looks to Zarbon): "Well, you too. If you can transform too then show us."
Zarbon (looking horrified): "No! Not that. I hate my transformation."
Toriyama: "Show us."
Zarbon (looks at Freeza but he is just glaring back): "..."
Freeza: "If I have to, you do to Zarbon-san. Get going."
Zarbon (to himself): "I'm very disappointed in you Freeza!"
[Zarbon tenses himself up and then proceeds to make his transformation.]
Bulma (drool suddenly freezing): "Euw! I can't believe I thought he was handsome!"
[Bulma cuddles back into Yamcha, who looks pleased with the change of events. He smirks at Zarbon.]
Director: "Ginyu?"
Jeice: "No! You don't want to see his transformation!"
Toriyama (looking interested): "Why?"
Jeice (casting a look at Ginyu): "Will you take an explanation instead?"
Freeza: "You're going to have to, since it's over my dead body that I will let him demonstrate on me."
[Freeza's henchmen and the rest of the Ginyu force nod vigorously in agreement. Ginyu looks quite crestfallen. He'd been looking forward to showing off his transformation abilitiy.]
Director: "Alright, explain his ability."
Jeice: "Um, Cap'n Ginyu has the ability to 'transform' by switching bodies. He changes bodies with someone and that's also how he keeps getting stronger."
Toriyama and Director (nodding but not really understanding): "I don't think a demonstration is needed then."
Director: "Attendant! Power levels!"
Attendant #3 (who got a new scouter from somewhere): "Checking now sir!"
[The scouter bleeped frantically but this time didn't explode. The Director was waiting impatiently.]
Attendant #3: "The average readings are in excess of 20 000 and Freeza himself has a reading above 1 million."
Director (nods happily, to self): "Powerful people are so much easier to work with."
Freeza: "My power level is higher than that when I make my further transformations."
Toriyama (happily and approvingly): "That's wonderful!"
[Toriyama and the Director put their head together for a conference whie Freeza and Co look on anxiously. This is their future on the line here. They'd never live it down in intergalactic pubs if it got out that they had been rejected for parts in some back water worlds animes.]
[Behind Toriyama and the Director, the rest of the cast were holding a whispered conference.]
Bulma: "This could be bad."
Goku (nodding): "This looks bad."
Kuririn: "20 000 is way beyond us! We'll get slaughtered!"
Bulma: "Who cares about the power levels. Toriyama can just give us a power up but what about their fashion sense and their colors!"
[Goku, Tenshinhan, Piccolo and Kami-sama nod in agreement.]
Piccolo: "They just can't be accepted!"
[Their conference comes to an abrupt end as Toriyama speaks.]
Toriyama: "Welcome aboard. You're now officially DBZ Bad Guys. Exact plot details will be forwarded to you after further consultation with you about your abilities and desires."
Cast: "NO WAY!"
Toriyama (looking at them mildly): "Is there a problem?"
Bulma (pointing at Freeza, who is once again in his base condition): "H...he...he's effeminate!" (turning to Dodoria) "And he's fat and pink. You stuck on fat and pink?"
Toriyama (resigned): "Dodoria is fat and pink but he comes with the rest of them." (happily) "And the rest of them is perfect!"
Bulma: "Perfect?"
Toriyama: "I'll explain it once!" (looks down at his clip board and checklist) "He's got a silly name and as you pointed out he is effeminate. A definite plus on the point of the buff and manly Goku beating up something much more fragile."
Goku (realising the insult): "..."
Toriyama (ignoring Goku and continuing): "He's got a tail, he can transform and he is very powerful. To boot, he is involved in interstellar commerce which adds an entirely new feel to the show and he has some strange and unusual henchmen with interesting abilities and fixations. After all how many henchmen think the ability to pose is more important than the ability to fight or that being ugly, even if it will save you life is too distateful?"
Cast: "..."
Mr Popo (quietly): "They're in?"
Toriyama: "They're in and that's final!"
Director: "Next!"
Attendant #2: "Number Seven. Call for the Seventh Audition - Name Nakago!"
[Nakago in his full armor with helmet walks in.]
Director (sighing): "That's it?"
Nakago (glaring and removing his helmet to show his blond hair): "I do not need assistance."
Bulma (drooling): "Kakkoii..."
Yamcha (again with no expression): "..."
Toriyama: "What's your full name?"
Nakago: "Nakago."
Toriyama: "What's your position?"
Nakago: "Chief seishi of Seiryuu."
Director: "Hmm. The Four Gods would return to the myth and legend genre we started with. Attendant!"
Attendant #3: "Yes sir!"
[The scouter bleeped a bit and then a number flicked up.]
Attendant #3: "He's within the parameters sir!"
Toriyama: "No. He's rejected!"
Nakago (surprised but still not wasting words): "Why?"
Toriyama: "You're powerful enough but the Seiryuu attachment just won't do. If you were Suzaku or one of the others..."
Nakago (insulted): "Suzaku's Seishi are a bunch of weaklings. I wouldn't be caught dead with their power levels."
Miaka (from side): "Ha! So how'd we kill you?"
[Nakago's expression doesn't change as he fires a power bolt to the side.]
Miaka: "WAH! Tamahome! Suzaku! Protect me!"
Tamahome: "Not again?"
Suzaku: "..."
Toriyama (annoyed): "AS I WAS SAYING... This is DB. The Dragon in this is supposed to be a good guy and we don't want to get people confused. Il-shelong confused the hell out of me."
Piccolo and Kami-sama: "And we don't want to get into the Gods argument again."
Nakago (having listened in on the previous conversation, sighing): "..."
Director: "Sorry sir, why don't you go and visit Pioneer Studios. I'm sure they will have some work for you."
Nakago (leaving): "Back to being misunderstood."
[Attendant #2 crosses him off the list while the Director and Toriyama remain silent until Nakago has left.]
Director: "Next!"
Attendant #2: "Number Eight. Call for the Eighth Audition - Name ..."
To be continued....
Sorry Nakago's audition was so short but that's really all I had planned with him. Oh for those of you who don't know, Nakago comes from Fushigi Yuugi.