News

That short story competition I mentioned below- Yeah, well, I didn't enter in the end, so, strangely enough, I didn't win. Might enter this year, though it's not really my thing. And, of course, I won't win. ( 23/2/04)

I have always liked Japan and the Japanese people. And I am not just saying that because they seem to be buying my books in fairly large numbers at the moment. No, I've got loads of books on Japanese art- you can come to my house and see them. I've got one on Utamaro and some on The Great Japan Exhibition- which, I might say- I attended while a student. And simply loved. Yes, you could say I'm a Japanophile. And I think that's fitting because they- above all people on this planet- seem to enjoy my books the most. I even paid homage to Japan in the title of my first novel- Tempus Fujit. Do you see that little allusion to the greatest symbol of Japan in there. Mount Fuji(t)- for those of you who are a bit slow on the uptake. Bless. Anyway, your average Japanese reader would have got it straightaway, I'm sure. The Japanese buy more e-books than anyone else- that just shows how smart they are. E-books stand for saving the environment and Freedom. Yes, freedom- ever heard of a dictator burning an e-book? Exactly. And where was the most important ecological summit in the entire history of the world held- Kyoto. I rest my case. Hurray for the Japanese! I knew a Japanese girl once. Called Mariko. Mariko, if you're out there, love, buy my books and spread the word, yeah? How's the English coming along? Better than my Japanese, I expect. Ha-ha. Yes, I know I swore I'd learn it, but I have recently taken up my Japanese language studies again. You never know, I might be invited out there on a book-signing tour- then again, maybe not, you can't sign e-books. Er, I see my science fiction novel, Future Tense, is the bestselling book by a foreigner named Almond again. It had been languishing at number ten for a few days. Thankyou, Japan! I love u.(21/2/04)

REPEAT MESSAGE (And am gonna keep repeatin it till somebody respondez s'il vous plait.) Hey, Japan! Now, I know some of you lovely people are buying my books, because I'm number two and six on your bestselling list for authors named Almond. That means I'm beating all those other Almonds. So send me an email and let me know who you are. It would be soooo cool to hear from you. (19/2/04)

It's becoming fashionable to write these blogs about our everyday lives. In a world of too much information, it seems absurd that we should want to know more, especially about other people, because most of us are pretty busy already- trying to know ourselves. But I suppose in some inverted way that's all bloggers are doing really: trying to talk themselves into some species of self-knowledge. Now me, I know myself insideout- so you won't be getting any inside information on me, mate! I like to keep myself to myself. Because if there's one thing there's not enough of in this world- apart from quietness- it's privacy. Daily our lives are evermore being nosed into- by web servers who keep records on us, surveillance cameras, which follow our every movement in the city streets and shops, the secret service phonetappers, tax office types, people with video cameras in phones or in their hands, bloody speed cameras- the list of snoopers is endless. So don't talk to me about blogs- we know too much about each other already! Whatever happened to a bit of mystery? I wish to be mysterious. I demand to be mysterious...it's my right to be mysterious. Just a few thoughts in the middle of the night. Too much Merlot. (16.02.04)

Hey, Japan! Now, I know some of you lovely people are buying my books, because I'm number one and two on your bestselling list for authors named Almond. That means I'm beating all those other Almonds. So send me an email and let me know who you are. It would be soooo cool to hear from you. (12/2/04)

Decided to kill two birds with one stone last weekend and took myself off to Iceland to work on the new book. Also to do a spot of whale-stalking. The Icelandic whale-catching industry is worth 3 to 4 million a year, but if more people went there to just look at the whales it could be worth five or six times that much to the Icelandic economy, in tourism. Anyway, I took myself down to the the harbour and even though my Icelandic is virtually non-existent, I managed to persuade the captain of a boat to take me out to see the whales. So off we set at the crack of dawn towards the whaling grounds. I did notice the big tarpaulin thing up on the bow and thought it must be a cover for the telescope for watching the whales. Suddenly, we spot a school of whales off the starboard bow. It was absolutely amazing to see these lovely leviathans of the deep spouting and swimming away from us as fast as their flippers could carry them. I was laughing and pointing them out to our captain, who immediately ordered full steam ahead and we chased after them through the minty green waters. What a thrill! I was just going to say, when two crewmen whipped the cover off what I'd taken to be the telescope to reveal a ruddy great harpoon gun! I'd only gone and boarded the wrong boat- I was aboard a whaler! So, I jumped forward and wrestled the harpoon off the aimer- it swung round violently, exploded and shot the harpoon straight through the hold and holed us. The next thing, we're all in the water, clinging onto our sinking ship for dear life. Had to be rescued by the Reykjavik coastguard. Tres embarrassing. But at least I saved a whale.(1/26/04)

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....wake me up be4 u go go!(8/21/03)

Just put up a new link to a book on how to write a best seller by Lee Masterson. I've read it (er, I'm in it) and it's excellent. Wish I'd read it before I started writing. Also, my second book, Future Tense, will be out sometime this autumn/fall. Bet you can't wait for that. I have now sold something in the region of eighty million copies of my book and Hollywood want to make a series of blockbuster movies based on the complete series. I'm not sure I want my characters on the big screen. I'm worried about my artistic integrity being compromised. I don't write books to be turned into mega movies, I write books to be read. So guess I'll turn down all the offers flooding in, and then I'll be able to sleep at night. In fact, I'm asleep right now...zzzzzzz.
My book is now available at Amazon and Bookbooters.(8/21/03)

Haven't been around here in a while. Been busy. There's nothing much to report anyway. Didn't win an arts council award for that kid's story I'm writing. Guess I'll abandon that one now. My book is now available at Fictionwise. The sequel should be out sometime this summer. Meanwhile, I'm entering another competition with a 5,000 word thing I wrote. Closing date's end of June. Prize is £3,0000!!! I'll let you know how I get on. I'm sending them one of my non-genre pieces. Wrote it specially for the comp. Anyway. still working on the third book in the Tempus Fugit series. Over and out. Drink, please.(6/15/03)