| Why me God? why put me through all this pain that kills me inside? What did I do to make you so mad, that would give you a reason to turn my life into a living hell? In order to win over the one I think I love, I must morph myself into something I'm not by going back to the "dark side" and doing all those bad things I once wished of. If I dare receive my mission, I doubt I'd come back alive - or alone - he'd have to carry me down the block and leave me on the porch; furthermore, he would be left holding the blame, the guilt. It seems as if I should be saying "why him, for putting up with me". If only I had a normal childhood that wouldn't have contributed to the decisions I now have to make. If only I had a father who would have been able to show me how a man was supposed to treat me; moreover, a mother who could show me that she cares. If I had all that, I wouldn't have my problem with him. I swear to God that I'm tired of this... I am so confused. - Jacqueline C. Audrey |