**************
Well, this certainly sucks. How bad has society gone that a person can't even ponder their purpose and existence without waken up to a cop and handcuffs? What kind of homeless person drives a BMW?! Please don't tell me my taxes are going to these cops. Do I LOOK like a homeless person to you?
I made the mistake of asking the morning guard this and the way he reacted let me know that this man had not had his donuts.
For two years.
So, now I'm sitting here in my little dingy corner with moss stuck in my shoes and twigs stuck in my hair, sitting on a blanket that smelt like something was killed, buried, and dug out again on it. For those with a lack of imagination, it really REALLY smelled.
The police officer from before, whom shall now be known to you all as Assface, apprached my cell and told me I had one phonecall to make to prove my identity.
I stood with my head held high and didn't even grace him with a glance as I walked around his girth towards the red telephone at the end of the hall. I found it hard to keep up my chin as I did so when I recieved various catcalls from a few of the cells. It would have been nice if a boy from school in my childhood hadn't told me the horror stories of men from jail/prison and what they did.
Stepping up to the phone, I gulped down the idea that now *I* was a man in jail, and dialed the number to Gohan's office. He's always there.
Imagine my surprise when I got the answering machine.
After listening to his personalized message, I told him where I was, what he needed to do, and to do it fast. I would have asked him to bring some fast food on his way too, but Assface told me to get off. I walked past him and back into my cell. As he turned his portly self, I stuck my tongue out at his back.
"Stupid assface," I mumbled.
~30 Minutes Later~
I never thought it possible, but I believe I'm now getting used to that whole, dead person smell on this blanket. This terrifies me, as it would any normal person who had a functioning nose.
Standing, I began to pace my small cell once more. I didn't understand what was taking Gohan so long to get on the phone. What could he be doing that would keep him from going to work. Then, it clicked.
"DAMMIT!!"
I slammed my fist into wall beside me.
It was Saturday.
~30 Minutes Later~
I'm sure he'll be coming any time soon. Any time now. He has to check his work messages. It's like a compulsive disorder with him.
He will check his messages.
'Sure he will.'
What the hell was that?!
'I'm the voice in your head.'
Dear lord. Have I become that crazed after being in a cell for what, FOUR HOURS?!
There is no way I'm talking to voices in my head. Crazy people do that, and I'm NOT crazy.
~15 Minutes Later~
So, Greg(turns out the voice in my head has a name) What's it like being inside my head all the time?
'Words cannot describe it.'
Really? Is it that good.
'......Yyyyeeaahhhh. Good. HA!'
I am no longer talking to voice in my head. Stupid voice.
~5 Minutes Later~
I've made a few more revelations in this cell. Jail is a really good place to think. Once you've droned out all the cussing, the mumbling, and have lost your sense of smell, that is.
Maybe I will go to that thing tonight. What harm could it do? The guy probably won't recognize me though. Not if he was drunk enough to think I was a girl. My features aren't THAT feminine are they?
Rubbing my face with hands, feeling it's soft features and large eyes, I curse. Okay, I may be a tad on the feminine side when speaking of looks but not enough to be thought of as a girl by a drunk guy right? RIGHT?
New revelation. Thinking is not something to do while in jail.
~1 Hour and 27 Minutes Later~
Nothing is more embarrasing than having your older brother, the person you looked up to as a kid and the one your parents adored, pick you up in prison in a brand new Mercedes. Life Just Isn't Fair.
I munched on the burger my brother had gotten me. That's one nice quality about Gohan. He always remembers to bring food. I rolled my window down all the way and put out a folded in arm to rest my head on. The burger is forgoteen and replaced with a shake and I close my eyes, relaxing and taking in the fresh air. It's a nice change from in the jail.
The car hit's a bump causing both of our bodies to fly into the air. I hit my head and use both of my hands to rub the afflicted area.
God, I am sooooo stupid.
I don't know whether it was my stomach or my brain that alerted me first that I didn't have a shake anymore. I looked in the rear view mirror and gasped. All over the side of my brother's new car was chocolate shake.
"What's wrong, Goten."
"Nothing," I squeak out. "I just.... thought I... saw a... person....."
I know he's looking at me funny but I prefer not to confirm it.
Ignorance is bliss.
**************
My beach home comes into view and I relax a little bit. My car was already there, thanks to the free towing the police officers offered once they realized they'd made a mistake.
"There you go, Goten," Gohan said as I started to get out of the car. T turned a little and gave him a small smile before closing the door.
"You want to come in?" I ask before I think.
"Sure."
"WAIT!! I mean, I forgot, there's this big....thing I have to go to. You know, lunch. Lots of big people. Could help me go places in the company you know."
He gives me a suspicious glance before he turns the car on.
"Okay. Just call me if you need anything."
"Yep. Bye Gohan."
As I watched my brother peel out of my driveway I smiled. This day was turning out better than it appeared when I was in that cell. I still had my limbs, but I was sure I wouldn't once Gohan got home and saw the passenger side of his car. This, I could worry about later though. Right now, I have some serious bathing to do.
**************
Ahh..... This is an improvement. Sitting in the bathtub has always been one of my favorite things to do. That, and eating. And watching the stars. And watching movies. And... Okay, I've got a lot of favorite things to do. It's one of them.
I have little fishies that are painted along the wall of my bathroom. I'm glad I did that. They're fun to look at. Cheers you up like those little smiley faces or when your friend's drunk and tries to make a pass at you. Like that.
My bubblebath has no defined smell. This is probably because of the fact that I used six different bottles to make enough bubbles. I'm a very bubble person. That's right, bubble not 'bubbly.' I've dated enough girls to tell the difference.
That was during my early teens though, so I don't know if my opinion is very valid in that area.
Anyway, I'm meeting a friend for lunch before I head to work so I guess I better get out of the tup.
EWWWwwwww..... I'm all...pruny. Gross. I knew it was going too well.
**************
"I see you took a bath before you came," my friend Julia begins as I sit down at our usual spot at an outdoor cafe. Julia, she's always so straight-forward I just want to punch her. All in good fun, of course.
"I see you just got some," I reply, taking in her somewhat ruffled appearance. "Say, twenty minutes ago?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"No, I've just known you too long." I slid into my seat across from her and picked up the menu even though I'd been here enough times to have it memorized.
"So, who's the new guy?"
"His names Giorgio-"
"Oh, no."
"What?"
"Giorgio? It oozes creepy old italian gay man."
"No it doesn't." She whacks me with the blunt end of of knife.
"Ow. What was that for?! Now I'll get a bruise. You know how sensitive my skin is!"
"Oh please," she snorted. "It's not like theres anyone who's going to mourn the mar on your skin."
"Actually, there is someone."
"Really? Who?"
I leaned forward, enjoying her sudden interest in my life.
"No one really. I met him at a club last night."
"Mm. Clubs are always good for meeting people."
"Mmhm."
We take a break to order our meals and lay back.
"So, how long?" she asks after a few more minutes.
"How long what?"
"How long before you have sex with the guy and drop him?"
I choked on my water.
"Excuse me?"
"C'mon, Goten. You can't fool me. You haven't been able to hold a boyfriend since you broke up with Jake. It's time to move on."
Ha. Easy for you to say. Bitch. I hate it when she's right. Why do women always have to be right?
"Because we're women. And we know," she leaned forward till her lips brushed my ear. "Everything."
She pulled away and smirked as the waiter laid our food before us. I digested her words of wisdom along with twelve ounces of steak. Though I hate to say it, it's true about the whole guy thing. I guess I just don't feel like trying anymore.
"I give it a week, tops."
"C'mon."
"I dare you. I dare you to try and make it work with this guy. Don't even start," she said as I began to protest.
"I don't care if the guy has a disease, bad breath, bad manners, or the personality of a rock. You, my dear Goten, are going to make it work. For at least two months."
I would have tried to talk her out of it, but I knew it wouldn't work. Once she's made a decision there was no persuading her.
Damn women and their un-persuasiveness.
**************
Work sucks. It always sucks though, doesn't it? Guess you can never win. Okay, the *actual* work part was fine, but the getting *to* work was the problem.
Mr. Purple-haired tranger-drunk-guy-who-grabs-other-strangers-
assess-and-then-procceeds-to-kiss-the-other-stranger has revealed himself as the upcoming Mr. Briefs, a man with the an intelligence to leave Einstein in the dust and the integrity to use it. Must be a Sagittarious (AN-ME!).
Anyway, as I'm getting of the trolley infront of my building, I see this 'Mr. Briefs' being barraged by a bunch of reporters as he leaves his limo followed by a blue-haired woman who's authoritive aura I could sense from the twenty feet away from her I was.
Just as I'd expected, she pushed them aside and followed them inside. The reporters seemed to give up and dissipitated which allowed me to enter my building. That's when it happened.
"You!"
I looked up to see the Briefs guy looking at me wide-eyed and the blue haired woman's head making an appearance by the side. He was pointing at me, and I was scared. I mean REALLY scared. Like 'oh my god, I'm gonna die.' So I did something I believed to be a developed pattern.
I turned and ran towards the stairs.
I heard the elevator stairs starting to close and him cursing as he forced them open again. When I heard his footsteps on the stairs a little ways below me, I got even more scared. How is that possible you ask? Easy. Now I was 'oh my god, I'm gonna die and then be brought back so he can kill me again' kind of scared. There's a difference.
"WAIT!" He yelled at me but I didn't stop running. I wasn't liking this. "Little shit," I made out him mumbling as he picked up his pace. The guy showed that he was yet again more fit than I was and caught up, grabbing my ankles. I wasn't prepared for this and fell face fiirst onto the floor.
My forehead held against the tile, I closed my eyes and prayed this was a dream. I hoped that if I stayed where I was he would go away like a good boy and leave me alone. He didn't like this idea very much.
How did I know? Well, I kinda got suspicious when he grabbed the back my pants, PUT HIS FINGER UNDER THE MATERIAL, and pulled me up a few feet so I was hanging by his fingertips, my ass sticking up in the air and my face glaring at my shoes.
"Ugh." Unfortunatly, I was close enough to smell them and I could tell some lazy citizen hadn't cared enough to clean up after themselves, causing innocent people, mainly ME!, to step in it.
"Let me down!" I tried to sound threatening, but how could you take someone in my position seriously?
"Look, I need your help."
"Well, if what your doing now is any indication, I'm afraid I can't sleep with you."
His eyes got really wide then and I realized that I should've kept my mouth shut.
"OW!! Shit..." I rubbed my jaw. The stupid fuck shit DROPPED ME!!! MY SKIN IS SENSITIVE!!! YOU CAN'T JUST DROP ME!!!!!!!!
"Kami, I sorry..." He was gonna go into a string of apologizes, I could sense it. Well, not today mister. So, I let my male instincts kick and turned, doing the most manly and yet cowardly thing in my life.
I punched him in the balls. He groaned and fell to the floor giving me enough time to get away and escape to the safety of my desk.
Now that I think about it, I do that a lot when we're not busy, I shouldn't have done that. That was a pretty low blow.
Literally.
Maybe I should apologize to him. Yeah, I decided, that's what I'd do. I'd go to that room tonight, walk up to him, apologize, and..... do something I can't think of right now.
Kami, I am really, REALLY, stupid.
**************
"I am set."
I turned my head at a few different angles, posing in my new clothes bought especially for tonight. Cool shoes, cool tight pants, cool shiny shirt. I liked shiny things. That way, if I ever got bored and didn't have anything to think about, I could zone out and stare at my shirt. Very useful, believe you me.
James was sitting on my bed staring at me as I posed some 'manly' poses. The effect was lost when I burst out laughing. How men could do that was mind boggling.
My jacket and keys were awaiting me on my chair, a small package of Certs Mints on top. I popped one in my mouth and put on the jacket. I was gonna set this straight, no pun intended.
It kind of sucks I don't plan on talking to this guy again. He's pretty hot for a smart ass.
**************
"Hi, I'm-"
"Go on in. Mr. Briefs is waiting for you."
"Oh." I stared at the bouncer as he removed the rope and let me pass. I felt akward, walking through all the dancing bodies, trying to remember where Pan had taken me.
A few people bumped into me, but I recovered for the most part. The bruise that I would get from that couldn't compare to the bruise I had on my chin.
Now I started to push through the crowds with more enthusiasm, bristling from the memory.
Then, I saw it. In shiny letters on a plaque in front of a now guarded door were the three words that were to seal my fate that night.
The Capitol Room.
**************