Another Saturday Night Date
(Epoch Two: 1983-1985)

She looked so natural
With her long, dyed blonde hair
And lovely skin tight
Transparent, black dress.
I told her how she made
My eyes shine
And my heart dance.
While all the time
Being merely a man,
My sole life consumed mission
Was to get underneath and caress
What for so long I've been missing.

I promised her the world
And if I had it to give
She would have taken it with open arms.
We went to an elegant restaurant,
Then to a Broadway show.
Escorting us resentfully my money went.

I suggested before the evening ended
We should get better acquainted.
Unlike when it came to picking up the tab
From that she didn't know
She said assertively,
Not caring if she offended
As she did shout
With the force of a rocket
"I'm not that kind of girl
Your must be demented.
If you want something to grab,
Why don't you put your hand
In your side pants pocket.
Being acutely aware
Of my continuing inept circumstance
I shamefully acted out her idea.

I was so angrily disappointed,
I was so positively sure.
With my exceptional good looks,
My warm, inviting wit
And abundant charms.
Oh yes, of course, let's not forget
My sincere modesty.
She would be dying to see
My bachelor apartment.
Instead the only thing I came home with
Which has been there so many times,
Was the early edition
Of the Sunday New York Times.