City Hall, New York:
Carla:Oh, look, Stepmummy, Fonzie and Laverne are making out and this 
isn't even Inspiration Point.
Sonny(and Lois pull apart)Well, I see you haven't changed, Carla.
Lois:Oh, you're wrong about that, Sonny. I heard Carla's become a 
mother. Tell me, Carla, is it true what I heard? Did your baby have 
horns and a tail when it came out?
Carla:Oh, you're so witty, Lois-Marie. Did you stay up all night 
thinking up that one.
Lois:Oh, I was up all night, but Sonny kept me too busy to think, if you 
know what I mean.
Tracy(sets into the fray)Now, now, girls, no need to let the fur fly. 
(she turns to Sonny and wipes the lipstick off his mouth)You know, Mr. 
Corinthos, it really isn't very politically correct of you to be making 
out with another woman minutes before you're supposed to be marrying my 
stepdaughter.
Sonny(sticks his hand behind his back and slips off his wedding band)As 
I understand it, this marriage is in name only. So what does it matter 
who I kiss.
Carla:It matters to me, Mikey. I won't have you flaunting your affair 
with this tramp in my face.
Lois(sees red)Tramp! Why you...(Sonny grabs her as she lunges for 
Carla)I'm not the one who jumped on anything in pants in high school, 
you slut.
Carla(lunges towards Lois as Tracy signals her bodyguard to grab her)Let 
her go, Mikey. I can take her. Nails and all.
Lois:Sonny, let me go!
Sonny(hisses in her ear)Cerullo, if you don't stop this, they're going 
to notice the rings on your hand.
Lois(freezes when it hits her that her engagement and wedding ring are 
in full view)Do you think they noticed?
Sonny:No, not yet. Look, I'll distract them while you remove them.
Carla(snarls)Tracy, you tell this neanderthal to get his filthy hands 
off me, this instant.
Tracy:Will you behave if I do.
Sonny:Carla, I've been meaning to ask you something. Why are you so keen 
on marrying me? What's in it for you?
Carla:Wouldn't you like to know.
Tracy:Isn't it time we got this show on the road.
Lois(links her arm with Sonny)Let's go.
Carla:You're coming?
Lois;You gotta problem with that, Carla?
Carla:And if I do, what are you going to do about it?
Tracy(steps between them)If you want to tear each other apart, do it 
after the ceremony. Now let's go inside and get this over with. (they 
all enter the room)
Jake(wearing judges robes)I'm the Honorable Richard T. Rollins. And this 
must be the happy couple.
Sonny(hands him the marriage license)Yes, I'm Michael and this is Carla, 
my bride. And these are our witnesses, Lois Cerullo and Ms. 
Quartermaine...Mrs. Hornsby...Mrs. Solieto...what the heck name are you 
going by these days, anyway?
Tracy:I'm Tracy Quartermaine-Ashton-Williams-Hornsby-Solieto, but you 
can call me Tracy.
Jake:Will everyone please take their places. Dearly beloved we are 
gathered her to join...
Tracy:Excuse me, can't you skip all that and just get down to it. I've 
got a nail appointment.
Jake:If you insist.
Carla:(in a whispered tone)Tell me, Mikey, have you told little 
Lois-Marie about our night of passion on prom night? You haven't, have 
you?
Sonny:I do. (then replies in a whispered voice)What makes you think 
that?
Carla:Because if she knew I was the first one to have you, she wouldn't 
be accepting this marriage quite so calmly. She wouldn't let you marry 
me over her dead body.
Bodyguard:Psst! Mrs. Solieto.
Tracy:What is it?
Bodyguard:There's something wrong with that judge.
Sonny:It wouldn't matter to Lois in the slightest if she knew I'd once 
slept with you.
Carla:If you really believe that, why haven't you told her about us, 
then?
Sonny:There is no us. We had a very forgettable night of sex, end of 
story. Why would I even mention it to Lois.
Carla:Because you're marrying me and if Lois knew I was your first it 
would matter to her and you know it.
Sonny:Look, Lois hasn't told me who her first was, so owhy should I tell 
her. Besides, I wouldn't touch you if you were the last woman left on 
the planet, so Lois has nothing to worry about and there's no reason for 
me to tell her.
Tracy:What's wrong with the judge?
Bodyguard:He's not a judge. He's an out of work actor.
Tracy:What? Are you sure?
Bodyguard:He works at O'Toole's pub as a bartender. He told me C&C 
Management had taken him on as a client and were going to make him a big 
star.
Tracy(looks at a smirking Lois)No wonder my ex-daughter-in-law looks 
like the cat that swallowed the canary. She and Sonny are pulling a fast 
one on Carla. I didn't know she had it in her. I wonder where the real 
judge is?
Bodyguard:What are you going to do about it, Mrs. S?
Jake:You may now kiss your bride.
Sonny:Do I have to?
Carla:Yes you do, sweetheart.(she grabs Sonny and forces him to kiss her 
as he tries to pull away from her)
Lois(tries to pull them apart)Hey, Carla, let him come up for air. Get 
your hands off him.
Tracy:(smirks)Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Carla:He's mine now, Lois-Marie. You'd better get used to me touching 
him whenever I want.
Bodyguard:But, Mrs. Solieto, shouldn't we tell Carla she's no more 
married to Sonny Corinthos than you or I?
Carla(starts to drag Sonny out of the room)Come along, Mikey, Stepmummy 
has reserved us the bridal suite at the Plaza Hotel. You will excuse us, 
won't you, Lois-Marie. You know how newlyweds are. We just can't keep 
our hands off each other.
Tracy(as Carla drags Sonny away)Married or not Carla is Sonny Corinthos' 
problem now. The main reason I insisted Sonny marry Carla was to get her 
out of my hair and this accomplishes just that. Sonny and Lois may have 
pulled a fast one on us by Sonny not really marrying Carla, but he's 
going to have to pretend he's married to her until Lois convinces my 
family to forgive me, so it's just like he's really married to her.
Bodyguard:I don't know, Mrs. Solieto. When Carla finds out about this 
she's gonna be really mad. And a mad Carla is someone you don't want to 
be around.
Tracy:Yes, but she won't be mad at us, because she won't know we knew 
about this. The persons she'll be mad at are Sonny and Lois and I 
wouldn't want to be in their shoes when she eventually finds out.

The Gatehouse, Quartermaine Estate:
Ned(tucks Brooke in)Would you like me to sing you to sleep?
Brooke:Uncle Sonny usually tells me a bedtime story.
Ned(with an edge to his voice)Does he really.
Alexis:(looks at Ned)What kind of stories does he tell you, Brooke.
Brooke:Oh, about Sir Sonny defeating the evil Prince Candyboy. Stuff 
like that.
Alexis:Oh, I think I know what you mean. I'm pretty good at telling 
stories, myself. How would you like to hear the story of Princess 
Natasha vs. Helena: Queen of the Vampires?
Ned(tunes them out as he paces around the room in agitation)
Alexis(puts her hand on his shoulder some time later to get his 
attention)She fell right to sleep. Are you all right?
Ned:No, I'm not. All day long it's been Uncle Sonny this and Uncle Sonny 
that. I won't have it, Alexis. I won't have Sonny Corinthos being more 
of a father to my child than I am.

Outside Jax's Mountain Cabin:
V(notices Jax out on the ice and calls to him)Mr. Jacks, what are you 
doing out there?
Jax(calls back)I'm doing what you suggested. I'm trying to catch some 
fish.
V:But didn't you see the sign?
Jax:What sign?
V:This sign(she points to a sign that says, "Danger: Thin Ice" Just then 
the ice beneath Jax's feet begins to crack and he goes tumbling through 
it to the freezing water below.

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