Trader Script

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE ONE (one panel)

VICTOR SOMMER is sitting in the pilot's chair of his Trade ship, straining at the yoke, trying to keep it from crashing. He's in his middle fifties with short, receding hair, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and laugh lines around his mouth. His dark eye brows are seemingly crashing into his hard-squinted eyes, crushed by the lines of worry on his high forehead. He's a well-muscled man and the strain of holding the ship as level as possible is showing in the bulging tendons of his neck. His jumpsuit is open at the neck and unzipped below his collarbone. His teeth are gritted as the lights in the cockpit are flashing behind him with crash warnings on the monitors there, as well. His pilot's chair is stainless steel rimmed around some sort of black cushioned material that he seems to be sinking into as well. His big hands are holding on for all he's worth. Our viewpoint should be from the instrument panel immediately in front of him.

FARAH (electronic): Systems overload. Impact in seventeen seconds.
VIC: I heard you the FIRST time!
FARAH (electronic): Mainframe crashing. Impact in twelve seconds.
VIC: SHUT
VIC: UP!

(credits can go here if the book is broken into two parts. Otherwise, they should have their own page.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWO (three panels)

Panel 1. From a vantage point about 50 feet off the ground on the planet that Vic's ship is crashing onto, we see the tops of trees in a forest. On this page our viewpoint should never change. In the far distance is a speck that will become the ship as it crashes to ground. But here, the scene is a typically tranquil forest shot. Trees will become important later, so this is some foreshadowing.

Panel 2. The crashing ship, seemingly on fire wobbles to it's right, the reader's left, as it approaches our stand of trees. Flames and smoke are billowing out and around it. It has not touched the flora yet.

Panel 3. The ship has passed through the frame and leaves broken branches and tinges of fire behind. From below our vantage, dust and dirt have exploded back up into the trees as the ship has run aground.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE THREE (three panels)

Panel 1. We're tracking along with the speeding ship in these three panels. From the front of the ship, it has a cloud of dust and smoke and dirt and tree debris billowing over it's top. Half of the ship should be obscured by flying dirt and debris (bushes, rocks, whatever else may have been churned up by it hitting the ground nose-first) as it comes right at us.

Panel 2. A side view of the ship as it breaks apart in the center, sending more debris flying. Only this time the debris is large wooden crates, cardboard boxes, clothing, maybe some foodstuffs. All the things that your average pioneer would need. Tools, books, pots and pans. The back half of the ship is turning away from the reader as it starts a second point of impact. The front is tilting toward the reader in the opposite direction from the back.

Panel 3. The front half rests at a 90o angle from the separated back half. It also rests on its side at about an 80o angle to the ground. The important thing in this panel is showing the window at the cockpit, even though the reader can't see inside. The dust is settling, and branches and other debris lay strewn across the landscape as well as in smaller piles.

(What's the most important about these two pages is simply showing the ship coming in over the trees and coming to rest the way it does, having broken in half. I like the idea of three 'wide screen' panels per page to do it in, but the artist can draw what looks best.)

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE FOUR (seven panels)

Panel 1. The first of three across the top of the page is a close-up of the cockpit windshield, and we can see an empty pilot's chair.

Panel 2. From on top of the ship, looking down, a small escape hatch is starting to open, with a series of handholds that look like a ladder sprouting from the skin of the ship just nearby.

Panel 3. Vic is pulling himself out of the escape hatch with some effort. His shoulders were just a bit too big. He is grimacing with the effort.

Panel 4. The same width as panel 1 and extending down to the bottom of the page. Vic is climbing down the ladder towards the safety of the ground.

Panel 5. One fourth the remaining space on the page shows Vic's feet dropping to the ground. Use a worm's eye view.

Panel 6. Same size as panel 5 as Vic drops to his knees. Same POV.

Panel 7. This panel is the same area as panels 5 and 6 put together. Vic is down on hands and knees, hanging his head in relief next to the ship.

VIC: shit.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE FIVE (four panels)

Panel 1. Vic is soldering a connection inside the control panel. Little wisps of smoke are rising from the wires within. He's sitting in the pilot's chair, leaning over.
CAPTION: Twelve hours later.
VIC: THAT ought to do it, Farah.
FARAH (electronic): THANK you, Vic. I'm sending our distress call back to Adam Corp.'s relay satellite.

Panel 2. This panel should be turned 90o in POV from the previous panel, reminding the reader that the front half of the ship is on its side.. Vic looks over his shoulder at the video display in the control panel as he grabs hold of the bulkhead to the left of the pilot's chair. Farah's face is there, smiling back at him. She manifests on the screen as a twenty-something lady with long red hair.
VIC: I need to get going.
VIC: Only three hundred klicks to home.
FARAH (electronic): I'll be here if you need me for anything.

Panel 3. Vic is climbing down the ladder on the skin of the ship, wearing a large backpack and a headset mic.
FARAH (electronic): The local GPS satellite is transmitting, too, so check it if you can't reach me.
VIC: I will. You take care, Farah...

Panel 4. Vic is a tiny featureless figure against the giant broken trade ship immediately behind him. More trees are in the far background.
CAPTION (VIC): "...And wish me luck! I'll be back as soon as I can!"

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE SIX (seven panels based on a nine panel grid)

Panel 1. (panels one and two of the grid.) Close on Vic as he marches forward with his backpack and a pair of sunglasses on. The ship and the trees look like toys behind him in the distance.
VIC (thought): Three ten year tours, and I crash land the last one. Retirement never looked so good.
VIC (thought): Jary'll kill me for being late.
VIC: Thanks, Farah! See you soon.

Panel 2. Vic slips and slides down the far slope of a hill, past more trees.
FARAH (electronic): You're welcome, Victor. Be SAFE.
FARAH (electronic): Your town is northeast of here, just over three hundred klicks.

Panel 3. Bird's eye view of Vic shading his eyes over the sunglasses as he looks straight up at the sky.
CAPTION: Second day.
VIC (thought): I should have seen a search 'droid by now...

Panel 4. Looking over Vic's left shoulder as he consults a hand-held GPS unit.
CAPTION: Third day.
VIC: GPS is still working, but---
VIC: Farah? You there?

Panel 5. Vic sits under the shade of a tree, his sunglasses on the ground in front of him, as he takes off his headset microphone.
CAPTION: Fourth day.
VIC (thought): No Farah. Still no search 'droids.

Panel 6. Vic is reshouldering his backpack in front of a ring of rocks that held his campfire.
CAPTION: Fifth day.
VIC (thought): GPS says only forty klicks to Heinlein. Maybe tonight.

Panel 7. (occupies the space where panels 8 and 9 would be in the nine panel grid. ) Vic is climbing the last little distance up a ridge. It's a steep angle so he's balancing himself with one hand forward as he struggles upward.
CAPTION: Dusk.
VIC: Jary...

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE SEVEN (four panels)

Panel 1. Vic's figure pops up over the ridge.

Panel 2. He rips off his sunglasses looking to his right. He's horribly surprised.

Panel 3. Tight on his eyes, wide in disbelief.
VIC (whisper): Jary?

Panel 4. (Dominating two thirds of the page ) Vic stands on the ridge (which is actually the rim of the blast crater ) looking down at the ruination that used to be the town of Heinlein. The wooden buildings are severely broken and barely standing up. There is a stone buildings at our edge of the crater that is really only a wall. Otherwise, anything that used to be a building in the settlement is rubble. Vic's figure is silhouetted at the top of the ridge farthest away from our POV.
VIC: oh
VIC: GOD

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE EIGHT (eight panels)

Panel 1. (These first six panels are two rows of smallish squares in the top half of the page, meant to be quick cuts of Vic's reaction ) Vic drops his sunglasses, still horrified.

Panel 2. He slips backward on some loose rocks.

Panel 3. Looking up the length of his body, we see him pushing himself up on his elbows. His mouth is still wide open and his eyes are saucer sized.

Panel 4. Vic crawls back to the edge of the ridge, becoming frantic.

Panel 5. His hand reaches out into space over the edge of the ridge. Trying to grasp at something. This is really the first indication that the drop from where he's standing is pretty sheer.
VIC: JARY!

Panel 6. Vic uses his left hand to hold himself steady, trying to extend his hand out into the air as he shouts her name and cries.
VIC: JAAARRRREEEE!

Panel 7. (half the width of the two rows of panels above, and the width of the page ) Vic hangs over the edge of the crater, his left arm on the top, his right in a fist, pounding at the wall of it. He hangs his head in grief and rage.
VIC: no no no no no

Panel 8. A bird's eye view of Vic crying on the edge of the crater and looking down at the remains of the town.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE NINE (four panels)

Panel 1. A starry, black sky with two moons in it. The larger moon is full, and the smaller one is less than half phase.
CAPTION: Fifth night.
CAPTION (Vic): This helps explain the lack of wildlife.

Panel 2. Close on Vic as he looks at what might be a palm pilot, though it has two antennae extending up from its top. Behind him, an electric camp lantern is burning brightly, helping cast him in semi shadow. He's letting his beard grow, so he's getting pretty stubbly.
VIC: This kind of event tends to drive animals away for long periods, though I'm not picking up any extraordinary radiation.

Panel 3. (Here's where it gets tricky! 'Cos Jary is a figment of his imagination here. She can be sort of ethereal, I suppose, if we need that visual cue, but I think the dialogue in the next panel will help clarify this. ) Jary is leaning up against a rock, rather provocatively. She's wearing a sarong and a sort of island-style halter top that wraps around over her left shoulder. She has long black hair and is very, very pretty. She is behind Vic.
JARY: So that means it wasn't a bomb.
JARY: Probably a meteor or something.
VIC (OP): mmm.

Panel 4. From the angle we're looking at, Vic has been squatting down to read his instruments. He turns in response to her coming up close behind him. We can't see where her hands are, but he's feeling them even though she's not there.
JARY: That's enough for tonight.
JARY: You'll start searching for us in the morning.
VIC: Yeah.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TEN (five panels)

Panel 1. Vic stands up, looking down at her, sad. She is looking back at him with passion.
VIC: Right now...
VIC: ...Jary...

Panel 2. Vic is kissing empty air, though he fantasizes he's kissing Jary. He thinks he's caressing her neck as he does it.

Panel 3. Vic is crying. He looks at Jary as she opens his jumpsuit.
VIC: I need to
VIC: to

Panel 4. Jary is straddling Vic, and both of them are nude. She's got her hands on either side of his head and is working her way down his body. His right hand is between her legs.
VIC: Jary---

Panel 5. Close-up on Vic from his shoulders up, from the same side as panel 4. He's turning his head away from us, his eyes are closed and we can't see Jary anywhere.
VIC: My darling.
VIC: My love.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE ELEVEN (four panels)

Panel 1. Vic is squatting down again, holding the broken figure of a stuffed animal in his hand, a lion. His backpack is on, and his sunglasses are on top of his head. With rubble strewn all around him, Vic is near the far edge of the blast crater from where we saw him last, in a hole that used to be where his home was.
CAPTION: Morning.
VIC: Home.

Panel 2. Close on Vic again, he's thinking hard, surveying more of the debris, but not moving.
VIC (thought): Lots of debris and rubble.
VIC (thought): But no bodies. Anywhere.
VIC (thought): Scavengers, maybe?

Panel 3. Vic stands up, wiping the dust from his hands, looking around the other way.
VIC: There were scientists here, too, just like EVERY frontier world.
VIC: All tough people. Survivors.
VIC: MAYBE they saw it coming.

Panel 4. Vic climbs toward the reader, out of the hole, grim and determined.
VIC: It's been ten years since I was here... There's GOT to be another settlement!
VIC: There's GOT to be!

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWELVE (five panels)

Panel 1. From behind Vic and above him, we see a hand carved directional sign that's been blown over. It has four names on it, Sagan, Glenn and Armstrong with the fourth being Heinlein. He's standing at a kind of overgrown crossroads and he's holding his hands out in frustration.
CAPTION: Soon.
VIC: FOUR settlements?

Panel 2. From head on, we see him trying to pick which way to go, desperate to make the right choice. Jary appears behind him, appearing to talk right into his left ear.
JARY: Sure, Vic.
JARY: We're pioneers sent to tame a wild planet. Why WOULDN'T there be multiple settlements?

Panel 3. The camera has switched angles a bit to his left so that he's on the right, looking back at where he sees her, but we don't. He's holding up the sign that indicates the direction of Heinlein is behind him. There are some trees receding back into the distance on his side, and the edge of the crater of Heinlein is in the far background.
VIC: I don't know... Adam Corp. never sprung for a sub-ether communicator, so I never got any news, couldn't stay in touch.
VIC: The money was too good to pass up. Double my pension? How COULD I pass that up? You agreed.

Panel 4. Jary stands behind Vic (who's out of the frame), with her arms crossed and frowning at him.
JARY: I told you I was pregnant and you panicked about money.
JARY: You NEVER asked my opinion. Remember?

Panel 5. Switch to her POV as Vic stands holding the directional sign, and it's leaning slightly away from him. We can see that Sagan lies in the opposite direction from Heinlein, if we can't tell which ways the other cities are, that's okay. He's a bit in shock.
JARY (OP): It's difficult being your conscience, Vic.
JARY (OP): Especially when you don't listen.
JARY (OP): Please come find me and our child.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE THIRTEEN (five panels)

Panel 1. Vic isn't wearing his shirt as he takes a long pull from his canteen. His little tent is pitched about fifteen feet behind him, near a stand of trees.
CAPTION: Eighth day.
VIC (thought): Ahhh, rainwater is SO sweet.
VIC (thought): NOW, which way?

Panel 2. Vic's shadow falls ahead of him on the grassy, overgrown trail he's been following.
VIC (thought): The overgrown trail the GPS says goes around?

Panel 3. From behind Vic as he's looking to his left, putting the cap back on the canteen, into the unimposing woods.
VIC (thought): Or save a couple of days by cutting through the woods?

Panel 4. Vic is laying down on his sleeping bag outside his tent, his hands behind his head, looking at the sky between the branches of the top of the tree the camera is looking down on him from. He's barechested and looks almost happy.
VIC: It's beautiful here.

Panel 5. Vic, startled, is pushing himself up on one elbow as we look through the silhouette of Jary's legs at him.
JARY: Well, THAT'S why you wanted us to stay here, wasn't it?
VIC: JARY? I thought you were mad?

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE FOURTEEN (five panels)

Panel 1. (These first two panels need to be squarish on the top of the page. The following three are meant to be tall panels, almost two-thirds of the height of the page, emphasizing the trees of the forest. ) Jary lays down next to him, putting her left hand on his chest, and cradling her head in her right with her elbow on the ground. He has laid back down on the ground and turns his head to look at her.
JARY: I can't REALLY stay mad at you.
VIC: I'm so sorry, my love. I thought I was doing what was best...

Panel 2. Changing angles to looking up at them from his feet, her hand is sliding toward his genitals. He's almost crying again and we can see his face, but we can't see anything of her other than her 'hand'.
VIC: I just wanted us to have everything we needed.
JARY: I know, darling.

Panel 3. (the first of three tall panels that are all the same ) Trying to give the reader a sense of movement either straight up from the 'couple' or just past them, all we see are trees balefully lighted by the glow of Vic's camp light.
JARY (OP): I know.

Panel 4. Exactly the same, only the light has been turned off, throwing shadows everywhere.

Panel 5. Just below the middle of the panel, a little to the left of center, two glowing eyes appear in the darkness.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE FIFTEEN (four panels)

Panel 1. Bird's eye view of Vic, his eyes closed and shirt off, basking in the sun about thirty feet from the edge of the forest. His backpack is nearby and his shirt is draped over it.
CAPTION: Afternoon, eleventh day.
VIC: DAMN the sun feels good.
VIC (thought): Even if I CAN'T raise Farah --- it's GOOD to be in full light.

Panel 2. From his eye level, but about thirty feet in front of him, Vic is putting his shirt back on. In the foreground is the overgrown trail he'd been following before.
VIC: And THERE'S my beacon.

Panel 3. From behind him as he starts down the path again, backpack on and his shadow falling ahead of him again.
VIC (thought): Right where it's supposed to be.
VIC (thought): Take me home, country road.

Panel 4. Vic is lowering his pack onto a crude raft made of logs and held together with vines. He's crouching on one knee at the edge of a little dock that stands about three feet out of the water, looking out towards the far side of the stream.
CAPTION: Sunset.
VIC: The trail doesn't pick up on the other side...

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE SIXTEEN (four panels)

Panel 1. A half-page panel that shows Vic standing on the raft as it floats away from the little dock. He's holding a long branch that's been sharpened to a point and his pack rests in the middle of the raft. The setting sun is behind him and the shore line he'd been on previously is to his right and receding into the distance. The other shoreline can't be seen in this shot.
VIC: So I hope this is what I need to do.
VIC: I should do some fishing for breakfast, too...

Panel 2. Vic is sitting on the front of the raft, but turned back to his pack and reaching for it. The water is black but for the little bits of moonlight bouncing off of it.
CAPTION: Midnight.
VIC: >Yawn< Better get a pep pill.
VIC: Don't want to miss my stop.

Panel 3. Vic holds up a fish he's speared on the end of his sharp branch. He looks please with himself.
CAPTION: Dawn.
VIC: FINALLY.

Panel 4. From the side of the dock farthest away from him, we see Vic crouched on his raft, looking at the dock coming up on his left side. He's got a couple of fish on the raft and appears to be steering the raft with his branch like a Venetian gondolier.
CAPTION: Mid morning.
VIC: And here we are...

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE SEVENTEEN (five panels)

Panel 1. As if the camera were in the center of the river, Vic is packing up his cooking gear. The raft is tied to the dock, and there's a sign that points the way to Sagan, initially following the river.
CAPTION: Mid afternoon.
VIC (thought): Full belly, fresh water and a nap...

Panel 2. Vic starts walking the overgrown path in the direction indicated by the sign.
VIC: Doesn't get any better until I get to my wife and child.

Panel 3. Vic is holding his GPS device up as high as he can, it's antennae fully extended. There are trees in the background and the grass is about thigh high.
CAPTION: Soon.
VIC: GPS says there's a road here ---

Panel 4. Vic stands in the middle of the overgrown path, just where it abruptly ends in front of a dense forest. The trees extend for miles in either direction.
VIC: --- but I don't see it.

Panel 5. Close on Vic as he's entered the forest and is moving a branch so that it won't hit him in the face as he passes through. He's frowning slightly and his beard is growing pretty quickly.
VIC: So onward I go, following my nose and hoping this forest isn't full of gnomes or pixies or something even nastier.
VIC: Like that riglet on Parry-six. |shudder|

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE EIGHTEEN (six panels)

Panel 1. Vic travels a path in the forest, walking slightly uphill. The foliage is dense and the trunks of the trees seem to be close around him.

Panel 2. Vic holds a flashlight up that he's turned on. He looks determined.
VIC (thought): Not yet, Jary. Not stopping yet.

Panel 3. Vic is a shadowy figure behind the glare of his flashlight. It's fully dark and the focus here is the beam of light coming from his hands.
CAPTION: Midnight.
VIC: Here we go.

Panel 4. Vic stands in the middle of a clearing that's barely illuminated by the light of his high powered flashlight. There's enough room for him to pitch his tent at least fifteen feet from the enclosing trees, as well as a small stream about two feet wide. This is the place where he's going to spend quite a bit of time, so there should be quite a bit of space, though nearly impenetrably ringed by trees and shrubs.
VIC: The perfect campsite.

Panel 5. Vic shines the flashlight into the canopy of trees. It's terribly dense and no moonlight penetrates.
VIC (thought): Foliage is so DENSE. Better set my watch.

Panel 6. Vic pulls out his tent from the backpack, having already set up the camp light we've seen previously.
VIC (thought): Or I might not wake up.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE NINETEEN (five panels)

Panel 1. Vic lays on his stomach, sipping water from his cupped hand just above the stream. His face is wet, his beard getting thick and there's a sort of ambient light. The trees haven't moved, but they are omnipresent.
CAPTION: Morning.
CAPTION: Thirteenth day.
VIC: sssuurp

Panel 2. In front of a tree that can be 250 years old, Vic reshoulders his back pack. He thinks it's heavy.
VIC: Huph!
VIC: Up and at 'em, Victor.

Panel 3. From the trees POV, Vic is beginning to walk away.
NYREI (OP): AND JUST WHERE DO YOU

Panel 4. Vic is turning, surprised to hear the voice. Surprise is just beginning to show on his features.
NYREI (OP): THINK YOU'RE GOING

Panel 5. The tree has grown two eyes and a mouth that are vaguely feminine. Her eyes do not glow, and her mouth is a prettily-shaped black hole. She should fill the panel dramatically, and the POV is Vic's, from over his shoulder.
NYREI: MAN?

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWENTY (five panels)

Panel 1. Vic stands about six feet from Nyrei. He holds out his hands in a non-aggressive gesture and she looks imperious. She should be slightly higher than he in the panel.
NYREI: I AM NYREI. MISTRESS OF THIS PLACE.

Panel 2. Vic has experience in dealing with suddenly formal situations. He's still got his pack on, but he puts his left hand over his heart and bows, holding his right hand out in a gesture of fealty. He smiles broadly as he speaks to her.
VIC: Well met, Mistress Nyrei, I am Victor Sommer. A trader in goods among my people.

Panel 3. From across the stream, we see Victor remaining humble, having crossed his hands in front of him, still wearing his back pack. Both should be in profile, showing the more trees in the background.
VIC: My starship crashed some distance from here, and I'm trying to rejoin my family.
VIC: I beg your pardon if I have unknowingly trespassed.

Panel 4. Close on Vic, still in profile. There's slight panic in his eyes. He's planning what to do if things turn ugly. (I know this is difficult to convey, and if I need to get into his head here, I will. )
VIC: If I may be allowed to continue my journey, I would return with emissaries of my people that we could coexist in peace.

Panel 5. Tight in on Nyrei's left eye, frowning.
NYREI: NO.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWENTY-ONE (five panels)

Panel 1. Vic raises his eyebrows at this. He strikes a posture of disbelief.
VIC: I'm sorry?
VIC: I meant NO disrespect ---

Panel 2. Nyrei is still imperious, very matter of fact about him. Her low branches extend from either side of her face and provide some support for the upper branches.
NYREI: YOU ARE WELL-SPOKEN AND SEEMINGLY INTELLIGENT, VICTOR.
NYREI: YOU WILL STAY.

Panel 3. Victor is backing away from her. Trying to calmly figure out which way he came into the clearing from. He's panicking more and looking for his escape route.
VIC: Mistress Nyrei...
VIC: It's very important I rejoin my people ---

Panel 4. Victor has backed up to within three feet of a tree across the clearing from Nyrei. He's still watching her and not paying attention to the tree behind him, which has suddenly come to life and whose branches are beginning to reach for him.
NYREI (OP): NOT TO ME.

Panel 5. Vic is startled badly by the reaching branches of the tree behind him as they rip the pack from his shoulders. He looks back, shocked to see it happening.
VIC: HEY!
SFX: sskrrriip

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWENTY-TWO (six panels)

Panel 1. Vic turns in an effort to reclaim his stolen pack. Anger dances in his eyes.
VIC: Why are you doing this?

Panel 2. Bird's eye view of Vic watching his pack being held far out of reach.
VIC: Give it back!

Panel 3. Vic pounds the trunk of the tree with both fists, yelling at the thief.
VIC: DAMN YOU, YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE!

Panel 4. Vic is whacked on the left side of his head by the low branch of another nearby tree.
VIC: AGK!

Panel 5. Nyrei scowls.
NYREI: WRONG.

Panel 6. Vic lays on the ground some distance in front of her, nearly unconscious as Nyrei continues her thought.
NYREI: I AM THIS WORLD. YOU LIVE AT MY LEISURE...

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWENTY-THREE (six panels)

Panel 1. Back to the broken trade ship. Both halves are littered at their bases with boxes and other debris from the exposed insides.
FARAH (electronic): VICTOR!
FARAH: Victor Sommer, trader #47326124, PLEASE respond!

Panel 2. The control panel as Vic left it in the cockpit of the ship. Farah's face is on the little screen, and she looks resigned to the fact that he's gone.
FARAH: Dammit, Vic, it's been two months.
FARAH: I'm sorry. I have to assume the worst.

Panel 3. Close on Farah, as she puts on a brave face and carries out her programming.
FARAH: Trade ship Isaac Clanton calling Adam Corporation to report trader #4736124, Sommer, Victor I., missing and presumed dead.
FARAH: Last contact with Sommer 0900 hours Greenwich local, sixty standard days past.

Panel 4. Same shot, only more from the co-pilot's side of the cabin.
FARAH: Repeating: Trade ship Isaac Clanton calling Ada ---
SFX: KABAM!

Panel 5. A shadowed figure stands behind the two chairs in the cockpit.
FARAH: VICTOR?!

Panel 6. Back close on Farah, she's narrowed her eyes and grits her teeth, preparing to defend her home.
FARAH: No. Not Victor.
FARAH: You have ten seconds to identify yourself.

TRADER #1 (second draft) Arnett
PAGE TWENTY-FOUR (three panels)

Panel 1. Tight, close shot of Victor, his beard long and scraggly, his hair hanging in his eyes because it's gotten so long, too, as he resists a drink from a leaf on Nyrei's branch.
CAPTION: SEVENTY-FIRST DAY. MORNING.
NYREI (OP): DRINK.

Panel 2. Extreme close-up of Victor's left eye. There's enough luggage underneath it to move a college football team , but it shows a grim determination on his part.
VIC: No.
VIC: Kill me, or let me die.

Panel 3. Dominating the rest of the page, we see Nyrei reaching out a branch with one leaf on it, cupping some water. She's trying to get Vic to take a drink, but he won't. He resents being stripped of his clothes and suspended in the air by vines gripping both wrists and ankles. He's had enough and he's giving up. His shadow lies beneath him and a little to his right.
VIC: I will not drink.

END OF PART ONE.Click here for part 2!

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