Diary

February 24, 2007 - With the everyday happenings in life you wonder how you're going to get through. Life goes on and eventually things get better. No matter what bag of tricks life throws your way you always come back a little bit stronger than ever. Every single day we're always reminded of how we look. Weather it be what we wear, how we do our hair, if we put make-up on that day.... we're constantly reminded of what we look like. Most have good days and bad days.... I've never met anyone who didn't have a bad day, I've only met people who THOUGHT they've never had a bad day but no one had the heart to say..."Hey you look like shit"

So today, I'm at my sisters house and she says... "Hey, you have wrinkles" I'm freakin' 25 years old! How in the hell do I have wrinkles??? She might as well have said "Hey, although you did your hair and your make-up, you look like shit!"

I suppose maybe I shouldn't be so wrapped up in my looks but REALLY! Wrinkles! I've always seen myself as the cool mom who wasn't bad looking... Not the grandma with big tits! So now, how to get rid of them or at least keep them from going deeper than they do? Any suggestions?

On another note I suppose I should take this time to say that I'm offically off the market. I met a guy while out shopping with my sister and we've really hit it off. His name is Jeremy and WOW! I haven't been so impressed in a really long time. The relationship is still fresh though, we've only been seeing each other for about a month.... I know, I know, to soon to become exclusive is what you're all thinking, but really; this guy is just awesome. I'm very excited about him if ya couldn't tell lol.

February 01, 2007 - Since I'm having a bit of discomfort this is going to be a very short update.
There really isn't much else to tell at this point in time that I didn't say in the last blog. Only thing that is confirmed at this point is that it is pre-cancer. This is not saying that it is or isn't cancer. This is only saying that my cells have definitely changed into a pre-cancerous form ranging from moderate to severe. They don't know at this point if it gone to cancer or if it's still in the stages of forming. They were only supposed to take 1 sample from me today and instead they took 6. How I understand it is that there is more than one area that they are now concerned about. So now the waiting game begins. Lab results should be back within 4-10 days.

January 29, 2007 - Well since I know everyone on my friends list (bands excluded) and I've finally come to terms with this, I think it's time I fill everyone in on what's going on.

I went to the doctor eariler this month. They called me last week and gave me some not so good news. In short this is what's going on:

HSIL�high-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion. High-grade means that there are more marked changes in the size and shape of the abnormal (precancerous) cells, meaning that the cells look very different from normal cells. HSILs are more severe abnormalities and have a higher likelihood of progressing to invasive cancer.

I have to go back for more testing on Thursday and we'll know from there what's going on and what can/will be done. I'm so sorry to those of you I haven't called and/or emailed personally. Plain and simple, I haven't had the time and to be honest there are some of you who don't have the time thus you get this blog.

I'll keep everyone updated.