Part 2
By Phai ([email protected])
Author's Note: Well, here it is -- part 2. I apologize for it taking so
long, but things got pretty hectic. Thanks for being patient everyone. To
be honest though, I'm thinking about ending the fic here at part 2 since 1)
I'm a very slow writer and have no idea how frequently I will be able to
post future chapters, and 2) I don't have as much time as I'd like to give
this fic 100%. But I'll wait and see what feedback I get. Please send
feedback; it's the only reward we get. I'd also like to take this
opportunity to thank my wonderful and patient beta readers, Tammie and
Steph. Thanks for sticking with me you guys. Love ya. Okay, here's part
2. Hope you all enjoy it!
"Okay Jack �- seriously, where are we going?" Tobey finally asked after
they�d been driving in silence for fifteen minutes.
"Will you just trust me?" Jack sighed emphatically, smiling at Tobey.
"Well...alright," Tobey half-grinned, cocking an eyebrow, "just as long as
you�re not thinking of driving off a cliff or something."
Jack chuckled, shaking his head. "No cliff."
The Saab was definitely heading back in the direction of Capeside, as Tobey
watched the houses and buildings of Provincetown slowly give way to the
lush, willowy landscape. Fairly soon, they came upon a long, thin stretch
of road, where to the left, stood a minor scattering of buildings -- no
doubt the outskirts of a nearby town -- while on the right, Tobey saw
through his window an assortment of bulky trees lined all along the side of
the road. The Saab slowed down considerably as Jack made a left, pulling
the car into a small parking lot right across from the trees. He parked the
car and turned off the ignition.
"We�re here," Jack declared, opening his car door.
Tobey followed suit, opening his door and pulling himself to his feet.
Stepping out of the Saab, Tobey took note of the strong, cool breeze
whipping at his face. The parking lot was completely empty, with only
Tobey, Jack, and Andie�s Saab occupying its open space.
"C�mon, lets go," Jack beckoned to Tobey, as he closed the door and started
to walk toward the road.
The two boys crossed the narrow road, making their way to the opposite side.
Once there, Jack and Tobey entered into the enclave of trees, where Tobey
finally realized �- seeing the flickering shimmer of water just beyond them
�- where Jack had brought him to. The bright moonlight broke apart as it
hit the leaves above them, casting luminous patterns of light everywhere.
Tobey could distinctively hear the water roaring off in the distance, as he
continued to follow Jack through the diffused enclave. The grass on which
they walked quickly thinned away, replaced by the soft sand beneath their
feet. Almost at once, the trees opened up to reveal a vast and deserted
beach.
"Wow Jack," Tobey stood flabbergasted, his eyes wide. "It�s �- it�s
beautiful."
Jack internally agreed with him. He had visited this beach many times
before, often during the late hours of the night like he and Tobey were
doing now. It was the same beach that played host to Capefest every year --
and, as Jack remembered all too well, was the same beach where he and Ethan
had become better acquainted with each other. Despite his fallout with
Ethan, Jack still favored the beach a lot and came to visit at night
whenever he felt like being alone, felt stressed, or just needed to clear
his mind. He never told anyone -- not even Jen. In many ways, it had
become somewhat of a sanctuary for Jack; a place where he could unburden
himself of his worries �- his fears -� as he sat and watched the rippling
waves slowly carry them out to the open sea.
Unlike in the daytime, when the beach was normally crowded, the nights were
surprisingly deserted, with little or no people roaming the shores.
Sometimes, when Jack would come late at night, he would notice a few other
people; but much like him, they also appeared to be seeking the same feeling
of solidarity that the beach seemed to exude during the night. A feeling
further accentuated by the sweeping moonlight from above, casting pale light
across the gray shores and the dark breakwaters stretching into the sea.
"Well who would have guessed?" Tobey said incredulously, looking out upon
the beach and jolting Jack from his thoughts.
"Guess what?" Jack asked, coming back to himself.
"That despite being the country-club family type on the surface, you happen
to be a genuine romantic underneath."
Jack chortled, shrugging casually. "Yeah, well -� what would a good prom
date be without the cliched stroll on the beach afterward, huh?"
They both laughed quietly.
"Thank you, Jack �- for sharing this with me," Tobey said suddenly, a
sincere look on his face.
Jack looked down, shuffling his feet. He could feel himself blushing again.
He cleared his throat, not knowing what to say.
"You�re welcome," he whispered, giving Tobey a half-smile.
The two stood there next to each other, on the outskirts of the trees,
looking out at the boundless water; the moon continuing to shine brightly
upon it, highlighting the soft, blue horizons as they gently ascended and
fell off in the distance.
Jack fidgeted nervously; he didn�t know where to go from here. When it came
to boys, Jack had reached the inevitable conclusion, long ago, that he was a
hopeless bundle of nerves. As Jack saw it, fantasizing and being attracted
to boys was one thing, but actually attempting to build a relationship with
one was a completely different scenario altogether -� a scenario still quite
foreign to him. Jack knew perfectly well how inexperienced he truly was,
and it certainly didn�t help his confidence when -- for the first time -- he
finally summoned enough courage to express his feelings for another guy,
only to be cruelly rejected and humiliated. It took Jack awhile to overcome
such a blow -� almost an entire summer -- and even now, he wasn�t entirely
sure he had completely recovered from the wound his fallout with Ethan had
left. He definitely was over Ethan, for even Jack had enough sense to
realize he was a jerk, despite his prince-charming good looks; but
nevertheless, the fear the experience left behind �- the fear of opening his
heart again �- still lingered quite strongly. As a result, Jack had
strengthened his defenses so much to where he found it difficult to open up
again, even when he wanted to. It had almost become like a knee-jerk
reflex, whenever he was reminded of his sexuality �- of how different he
was.
"Well," Tobey prompted eagerly, "what are we waiting for?"
"Huh?" Jack said absently.
Tobey rolled his eyes, pushing Jack lightly. "Are we going for that stroll
or not?"
"Oh!" Jack faltered, smiling sheepishly, "y-yeah �- sure."
Jack started to walk forward, hands in his pockets, assuming Tobey would
follow. However, suddenly, Jack felt a hand from behind reach into his
right pocket, gently pulling out his own hand. Having stopped walking, Jack
looked up and saw Tobey standing beside him, both of their hands now joined.
"I�d much prefer walking like this," Tobey said softly, looking evenly into
Jack�s blue eyes. "That is, if you don�t mind of course?"
Jack still wasn�t exactly sure yet what he and Tobey were to each other --
but in that moment, something warm and pleasant began to well up in his
chest at the touch of Tobey�s firm but gentle hand. Never before had
another boy taken his hand like that, as if it were the easiest and most
natural thing in the world to do; and Jack had to admit, it made him feel
really content inside. Jack smiled kindly, returning the gesture by lacing
his fingers with Tobey�s. Without another word, the two resumed walking �-
this time, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, up the sand dunes toward the water.
They walked for awhile, just taking in the calm scenery of the beach and in
many ways, taking in the "feel" of each other.
"So, what are your plans for college?" Tobey asked, initiating conversation
as they walked hand-in-hand across the beach. "Are you planning to continue
playing football?"
"Probably not," Jack replied.
"How come?"
Jack shrugged. "I don�t know," he said hastily. "I guess -� I guess deep
down it never really interested me much. The truth is I sorta got dragged
into it, you know? It just so happened that I was actually good at it -�
well, at least good at catching a pig-skinned ball." Jack sniffed, then
continued. "I suppose what I liked most about it was the way it made me
feel like everyone else �- like I was normal."
Tobey suddenly stopped walking, turning to look at Jack. "But you are
normal, Jack," he said calmly.
Jack, somewhat startled by Tobey's candid statement, looked up, not exactly
sure how to respond -- so instead, he merely squeezed his hand lightly and
resumed walking.
"Yeah," Jack finally spoke again, "I know that now; but at the time, I have
to admit it felt good, for once, not to be known simply as �Jack McPhee:
resident homosexual�. It felt good just to be Jack again �- you know, just
one of the guys. But it wasn�t long before I realized that even with the
helmet on, I was still gay; I still had to deal with the stigma." Jack
sighed meditatively, his eyes looking to the skies. "I guess that�s why I
agreed to do that news interview for Dawson �- in hopes that I might find
someone out there like me, but nothing really came of it."
"Jack �- what you did was really brave, putting yourself out there like
that. Trust me, there were plenty of guys out there just like you, watching
that news report �- myself being one of them."
"Really?"
"Yeah," assured Tobey. His face revealed a wry grin, quickly adding, "not
to mention you looked incredibly sexy all decked out in your football gear."
Jack laughed in spite of himself. "Yeah, right -- this coming from a guy
who has an unwavering and particularly Herculean hatred for all jocks?"
"Hey, I�m here with you, aren�t I?" Tobey smiled, playfully nudging Jack.
"Besides, I don�t hate all jocks. In fact, I could�ve been one myself if I
wanted to."
Jack snorted sarcastically. "You �- athletic? C�mon."
"I�m serious," said Tobey. "What -� you don�t believe me?"
"Well, I have to admit," Jack said facetiously, trying not to laugh at
Tobey�s expression of mock-hurt, "it�s a little hard to imagine."
"Oh is it now?" said Tobey, his eyebrows raised.
Just then, Tobey let go of Jack�s hand, bent down and started untying his
shoes.
"W-What are you doing?"
Tobey didn�t answer; he rolled up his pant legs just below his knees, took
his shoes and socks off until he was standing there barefoot.
He straightened up to look at Jack, a huge smile on his face. "Alright
then, how about a race �- you and me?"
"What?" Jack said confoundedly. "You�re crazy!"
"Afraid I might beat you?" chided Tobey.
Jack hesitated, eyeing Tobey for a moment, then broke into a broad, resolute
smile of his own.
"You�re on!" Jack accepted, starting to untie his own shoes and bow tie,
pulling up his pant legs just below his knees.
Jack removed his shoes and socks, feeling the damp, moist sand beneath his
bare feet. It was then he realized -- standing on the cool, smooth surface
-- that he and Tobey had come very close to the tide. The sand was so
supple, Jack thought, it felt almost like rubber.
The two boys took off their tux jackets and shirt cufflinks, rolling up
their shirtsleeves just beneath the elbows. They folded their jackets
neatly and placed them �- along with their socks tucked inside their shoes
�- on dry sand a couple feet away. They made their way back down to the
shoreline, where the cool waves cascaded across their feet, sending quick
chills up Jack�s spine.
"Where to?"
Tobey pointed to a small boulder a couple yards down the beach. "How about
there?"
Jack nodded earnestly, apparently getting into competition mode.
"Okay...on the count of three," said Tobey, as he and Jack stood at a
running stance, ready to take off. "One �- two �- three!"
The two boys sprinted down the shore, their feet rapidly splashing against
the water as it rhythmically ascended and ebbed away from them. Jack,
feeling like he was back doing sprint drills in football practice, took the
initial lead easily. His swift pace carried him closer to the boulder with
each quick step, with the chilly sea breeze rushing into him. However, much
to Jack's surprise, he soon noticed that Tobey had quickly pulled up even
with him, and before he could even register this fact, Tobey was now ahead
of him. Jack couldn�t help but smile as he quickened his run to catch up,
but it was too late -- Tobey had reached the boulder first.
Both came to a halt as they hunched over with hands on their knees, each
attempting to catch their breath. Jack lifted his head and saw Tobey
looking at him. They exchanged smiles, breathing hard. Tobey then
straightened up, lifted his arms triumphantly into the air and sauntered
loftily into the dark blue ocean.
"Yes!" he bellowed to the sea, knee-deep in water as the incoming waves
washed against his legs. "Tobey Barret beats Captain America in landslide
victory!"
Jack smiled, shaking his head, continuing to get his breath back -- but he
wasn�t going to admit defeat so easily. With Tobey�s back to him, Jack ran
up from behind and threw himself onto Tobey�s back, wrapping his arms around
him and pulling him down into the water. Surprised, Tobey let out an
unexpected yell as he and Jack collapsed into the icy waves. They came up
sputtering, completely soaked.
"Oh no you didn�t!" Tobey mirthfully exclaimed.
Jack laughed mischievously as Tobey leapt at him, dunking his head into the
water. Jack resurfaced, fervently shaking his dripping head, only to feel a
sudden gush flooding him again as Tobey started tossing up handfuls of
water. Jack retaliated, doing the same, and soon he and Tobey were
vigorously splashing each other, their laughter echoing across the beach.
Now flooded, Tobey started trudging up toward the shore.
"Where do you think you�re going, huh?" Jack said impishly, chasing after
Tobey.
Tobey made his way to dry land, with grains of sand sticking to his damp
feet. With his soaked clothes weighing him down, Tobey fell to the sand,
panting and laughing. Jack quickly followed, stumbling up the dunes. Tobey
tried to get up before Jack could reach him, but Jack was too quick, jumping
on top of Tobey and pinning him to the ground.
"Give �- up?" he panted, smiling down at Tobey.
Tobey smirked. "In your dreams."
He playfully groaned, struggling to free himself, but Jack�s knees were
planted solidly to the sand and his grip over Tobey�s wrists was too strong.
"C�mon," Tobey pleaded.
Jack snickered, watching him wiggle.
Then all at once, their laughter subsided, as they met each other�s gaze for
the first time, ultimately becoming aware of the position they were now in,
with Jack on top of Tobey, pinning him against the sand �- their faces
merely inches apart. Jack could feel Tobey�s chest rapidly rising and
falling beneath him, releasing warm breath against his wet face. The mirth
seemed to dissolve, replaced now by a heightened synergy of tension, one
that literally seemed to emanate from the closeness of the two waterlogged,
yet distinctively warm bodies. Gazing into Tobey�s olive-colored eyes and
feeling the intimate proximity of the other boy, Jack could no longer
control himself -- he kissed Tobey hungrily.
Unlike the others, this kiss was strong �- fierce; one that was unmistakably
seated in lust and desire. Both boys quickly parted their lips as they
frantically enveloped over each other. Tobey�s hand reached up and cupped
the side of Jack�s neck, drawing him closer, intensifying the kiss and their
embrace. Now pressed chest to chest, with their sodden shirts clinging
tightly to their bodies, Jack could virtually feel all his anxiety and
inhibition ebbing away; and judging from Tobey�s equally forceful responses,
he felt the same way. Without thinking, Jack slid his tongue along Tobey�s
parted lips; who, much to Jack�s satisfaction, openly welcomed its warmth
into his mouth. An intense shudder surged through Jack�s body as Tobey --
in turn �- reciprocated the gesture, inserting his own tongue, both of them
now rampantly probing and exploring the heated, inner contours of each
other�s mouth. All of Jack�s cognitive reasoning seemed to abandon him in
that moment, as he finally surrendered to his primal impulses, letting them
guide his every action. The only thing his brain managed to register were
the incredible sensations �- indescribable sensations that Jack could
honestly admit he�d never felt with anyone before, boy or girl.
The two continued to kiss passionately under the twilight, muffled pants of
hot breath occasionally escaping their entwined lips. Jack briskly ran his
hands over Tobey�s arms and chest, surprised to feel nothing but toned
muscle beneath his fingertips. Tobey responded by running his hand through
Jack�s dripping hair, sending warm flashes to his damp face. Their exchange
of passion progressed in almost a cathartic fashion, as if each boy had
finally thrown open the lid to the proverbial pressure cooker bottling their
emotions, allowing them now to pour freely from themselves. Lying upon the
beach, in a tight embrace, Tobey suddenly pushed his weight forward, causing
Jack to roll over onto his back, with Tobey now pinning him to the ground.
Despite the change in position, they didn�t break apart, continuing to kiss
and caress each other wildly. Jack wasn�t sure how much longer he could
maintain what little control he had left, as he distinctively felt the
sensations making their way down to his groin. His body�s burgeoning
"eagerness" both scared and excited Jack, yet he wasn�t quite sure what to
do, where to begin, or even if he was *ready* to. After all, he was already
doing more with Tobey tonight than he had ever done with another guy since
coming out two years ago. In those two years, Jack was more than happy to
impede, and in many ways, avoid, his love life �- especially after the
incident with Ethan. In fact, he had grown used to being alone; used to not
having someone to hold; used to satisfying his urges by jerking off to
playgirl magazines each night. Yet now, Jack was finally letting himself
acknowledge his desires; he was now experiencing things he only previously
fantasized about �- and by all means, he desperately wanted to make it last
as long as possible.
His senses racing, Jack did the only thing that came to him �- he pushed his
weight forward, causing him and Tobey to roll over in the sand again,
putting them back in their initial positions, with Jack lying on top.
"Ouch!"
They broke apart.
"What?" Jack gasped. "What�s wrong?"
Tobey cringed slightly, then half-smiled. Arching his back, he reached
behind himself and pulled out what appeared to be a tiny, rigid seashell,
which apparently had dug into his back when he and Jack rolled over the
sand. He held the shell out in view for both him and Jack to see. For a
moment they just stared at the shell, breathing heavily, both boys seemingly
stunned at what had just taken place minutes earlier. Everything happened
so fast that even Jack wasn�t entirely certain what had happened �- he
certainly couldn�t explain how it came about. One moment he and Tobey were
talking, then the next, they were making out on a beach. And just like
that, their passionate exchange had stopped, as quickly as it had started.
Jack could feel his face going extremely hot at the thought of his libidinal
behavior, completely surprised by his forcefulness. Just then, Tobey broke
their silence and mounting tension by doing something totally unexpected to
Jack: he snickered.
Jack eyed Tobey with a mixture of sheer bewilderment and curiosity as
Tobey�s snicker turned into a chuckle, his mild laughter making his body
quake slightly beneath Jack�s.
"Something funny?" Jack asked, raising a single dark eyebrow.
Tobey merely responded by pointing at the shell, chuckling harder now. Jack
shifted his gaze from the shell to Tobey, then back to the shell again. For
some odd reason, watching Tobey�s jocular expression, Jack couldn�t resist
breaking into a smile himself, also chuckling at the seemingly awkward, yet
at the same time, amusing situation. Their chuckles quickly escalated into
full-fledged laughter, and soon both boys were laughing hysterically, tears
forming in their eyes as the boisterous mirth washed over them, completely
drowning out the tension. As their laughter receded, Jack slowly rolled off
Tobey and settled on his back next to the boy, both of them staring up at
the stars. The atmosphere was one of tranquility; the cool, blue tones of
the sea and sky merging together on the horizon; the only sounds coming from
the rippling waves and the quick respiring of the two boys.
"Well," Tobey panted, catching his breath. "That �- was �- unexpected."
"Yeah," Jack exhaled quietly, thankful that Tobey couldn�t see him blushing
in the darkness.
Keeping their eyes on the stars, both laid there together �- silently �-
breathing hard.
"You ok, Jack?" Tobey finally spoke.
"Uh, y-yeah," Jack fumbled, words completely escaping him. "You?"
"Great �- albeit a little surprised."
"Yeah, about that," Jack said hastily. "I�m really sorry if I...came on too
strong. I know we agreed on the boat to take this one step at a time --
but, I don�t know, I guess I just got carried away by the moment."
"Are you kidding me, Jack?." Tobey gaped in amazement. "I've been waiting
for you to kiss me like that for the longest time. If you couldn�t tell by
my reaction, I�m glad you did."
"Really?"
Tobey smiled. "Yeah."
Jack returned the smile, finally taking his eyes off the sky and settling
them on the boy next to him. It was an oddly serene moment between them, as
if no further words needed to be spoken. It was a feeling Jack was
beginning to appreciate with Tobey �- feeling like Tobey already knew
exactly what he was thinking and feeling.
"You do realize there is, of course, one major downside to our recent sexual
awakening, don�t you?" asked Tobey.
"What�s that?"
"It�s going to cost us a fortune at the dry-cleaners tomorrow to clean these
tuxes," Tobey remarked, looking down at his wet clothes.
Jack laughed, also taking note of how soaked he and Tobey really were, with
sand sticking to almost every part of their body �- all over their rented
tuxes and in their hair. Jack also noticed how suddenly cold he now was,
with the cool wind nipping at his wet skin, sending shivers down his back.
Feeling its chilly reception made Jack yearn even more for the warmth of
Tobey�s embrace.
"So what now?" Jack asked tentatively.
Tobey shrugged, then turned his head to look evenly at Jack, a gentle smile
on his face. "Just continue to take things one step at a time, I guess."
Jack gave an agreeing nod. "Sounds good to me."
Jack stood up, brushing the sand off himself, offering his hand to Tobey.
"C�mon, I�ll take you home. I think we�ve had enough partying for one
night."
"Speak for yourself," Tobey winked at Jack, taking his hand.
The two gathered up the clothes they left lying on the beach and steadily
walked back from whence they came �- back up the sand dunes, toward the
trees and Saab, walking side-by-side, hand-in-hand.
***
Tobey sighed, "Here we are �- again."
Jack simply nodded, as the black Saab sat in front of Tobey�s house for the
second time that night.
"I�ll walk you to the door," Jack offered.
"Okay."
They both got out of the car and walked up the front steps to Tobey�s door,
careful not to make too much noise with the iron gate. The house hadn�t
changed since they last saw it; all the lights both inside and out were as
they left them �- dark.
"I hope you won�t get into too much trouble with your parents for staying
out this long," said Jack, checking his watch, astonished at how quickly the
time had passed.
Tobey waved away Jack�s concern with his hand. "Trust me, it�s no big deal.
Although," Tobey paused, looking at his drenched attire, "I guess when
they see me they�re likely to think I fell off that boat." Tobey forced a
laugh, then quickly added, "What about your dad?"
Jack shrugged. "He�s away on business. I suppose he�s not too keen on the
whole �prom date with a boy� thing either. But he�s trying to be."
Tobey nodded.
They exchanged knowing smiles, though neither one seemed eager to broach the
subject of their parents any further �- at least, not tonight. Jack surely
didn�t feel like getting into a discussion about his dad, and he was
thankful that Tobey didn�t ask him to elaborate.
"Thanks for a great time tonight, Jack," Tobey blurted out, looking as
though he too was eager to change the subject.
Jack smiled meekly, looking down at his feet. "Don�t mention it," said
Jack. "I�m just glad Andie isn�t here to see how much sand we left in her
car tonight."
Tobey shifted his gaze over to the Saab parked in front of his house. "I
can help you clean it up tomorrow, if you like?" Tobey offered.
Jack looked up at Tobey again. "Y-yeah -- that�ll be great," he smiled.
An awkward pause followed; both boys standing there in silence. What comes
next, Jack thought to himself. As stupid as it sounded in his mind, and
considering the fact that he had *just* made out with Tobey not too long
ago, Jack wasn�t sure whether he should kiss Tobey goodnight, give him a
hug, or simply shake his hand.
"So," Jack started, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he
was nervous, "I�ll call you tomorrow."
"Okay." Tobey said cheerfully.
Another pause.
Thinking fast, Jack did the only thing that came to him �- he punched Tobey
lightly on the arm. "Later, man," he smiled lamely.
Tobey raised his eyebrows and slowly looked down at his arm, with an
expression on his face that clearly revealed his struggle in suppressing a
laugh.
Tobey grinned, eyeing Jack, "You�re not turning all hetero on me again, are
you Jack?" he teased.
And before Jack could respond, Tobey cupped both sides of his face and
pulled him into a tender kiss. Jack responded immediately as both their
lips mingled gently against each other, their tongues dancing languidly
together. Simultaneously, they slowly pulled apart, with Jack taking in a
deep breath and gulping thickly.
Tobey let go of Jack�s face and smiled widely, "Now that�s the proper way to
say goodnight."
Jack chuckled, clearing his throat. "I definitely like your way better."
Tobey continued to smile. "Call me tomorrow, okay?"
"You got it."
Jack waved as he got back into the Saab, watching Tobey disappear into his
house just as he started the ignition. Driving back home, Jack kept playing
over in his mind the events of that night and trying to recall every emotion
he felt. Reflecting back, it was everything he had imagined it would be and
more -- and it still took Jack by surprise that it ended up happening with
Tobey. Jack also couldn�t help but wonder how far he and Tobey would have
gone had they not rolled over onto that seashell back at the beach. Would
Tobey and I have had sex if not for that seashell, Jack asked himself. He
pondered the question over and over, and the fact that he couldn�t come up
with a definitive answer sent a mixture of anxious, yet at the same time,
blissful butterflies to his stomach. Ultimately though, Jack was relieved
he and Tobey didn�t rush into anything. He wasn�t worried, for tonight was
merely the first step, and both he and Tobey had the entire summer to take
all those additional, subsequent steps �- together. In the end, Jack
couldn�t help but laugh at the irony of the situation. Here he was �-
tired, cold, not to mention extremely wet; and yet, for the life of him, he
couldn�t remember the last time he had had as much fun or felt happier than
he did right now. Sufficed to say, Jack had a strong feeling that the smile
he wore wasn�t going to be leaving his face for the next several days.