By Joanna ([email protected])
Note: This fic contains minor swearing and interaction between two men. It is not very offensive. If you don't like to read about two men kissing, no matter how gorgeous they are, I recommend that you don't read this. This takes place in season 5, but all changes to the show are quite self-explanatory. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.
"Jack, when I told you to talk to him, I meant pick up the phone, not fly across the country" Jen laughed.
"Jen I have to see him, a phone call isn't good enough, not after what I did to him" Jack crossed a busy road, holding his cell phone to his ear.
"I know, I just wish you had told me before you left. I was worried about you"
"I'm sorry. There wasn't any time. I knew I had to do something and if I waited around I would convince myself not to do it"
"Don't worry" Jen paused "Jack, where did you get the money from, you said you were skint?"
"Yeah, I am. I spent the last of my money on a coach to providence, where I got down on my knees and begged my dad to loan me some money. It wasn't a pretty sight" Jack winced in remembrance.
"I wish I could have been there" Jen laughed
"It was nothing you haven't seen before. I was kind of like when I begged you to forgive me for being such a bastard towards you, very similar infact" Jack laughed.
"Yeah, you're getting good at that"
"Well, what you saw was not even a scratch on what I am going to have to do for Tobey's forgiveness. It was hard enough getting here, now I must go back down on my knees"
"I'm sure Tobey will enjoy that!" Jen joked.
"Ha, ha. Very funny"
"So, you're dad actually gave you the money?"
"Kind of"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means he has paid for the trip, he just doesn't know it yet"
"What?"
"Well after all the begging he told me that I shouldn't be jeopardising my education to go running after a boy. He never really got along with Tobey. He then reminded me about the whole Ethan thing, which I really didn't need reminding about. Like I wasn't already remembering it!"
"Oh, Jackers, Tobey is totally different to Ethan"
"I hope so"
"So, back to the money"
"I begged him again and he refused. When he went to work, I went to say Good bye to mum. I told her what happened and said I was going back to Boston when she gave me my dad's credit card. She told me that this was the advantage of both me and my dad being a 'J. McPhee'. She said that she would talk to dad when he came home and told me to buy the tickets and get cash out before dad had a chance to cancel the card" Jack laughed.
"Go, Mrs. McPhee!" Jen laughed back.
"So, here I am" Jack looked around and then looked to the map in his other hand. "I am totally lost in a city I don't know. I hope it's worth it"
"Jack, don't worry. Everything will be fine"
"I wonder how many Brad's there are in this city?"
"Jack, Tobey was really upset. There is no way he has gone and found in self a Brad, or anyone else for that matter"
"I hope you're right" Jack took a deep breath "I better go"
"Okay, Grams says good luck"
"Thanks"
"Jack, everything will be fine. I know it will"
"I hope so. I call you later"
"Okay, bye"
"Bye" Jack flipped the flap on his phone and slipped it back in to his pocket. He looked around him. He was lost, no doubt about it. He put his map in his bag giving up, he had never been good at map reading. He was going to have to take a chance. The turned right.
After about an hour of walking he found it. He looked at the sign 'Stanford College Hall of residence, Block D' He was finally here and he hadn't even considered what he was going to say to Tobey. The furthest he got was 'I'm sorry'. Jack was surprised that no one even batted an eyelid at him walking straight in. He walked up to a girl standing alone in the hallway. She was very pretty, had long brown hair that covered most of her back with hazel eyes.
"Excuse me, do you know where room 225 is?"
"Why do you want to know?" The girl asked.
"That's the room of the person I've come to visit" Jack answered.
"Wow, Tobey Barrett finally has a visitor. I was beginning to think he had no friends"
"You know Tobey?" Jack asked. The girl's cold exterior seemed to have melted.
"Yeah, I'm his friend, one of his only ones. He hardly goes out, except to classes. I used to think he was a bit, you know, weird, but then I got to know him and he's quite sweet"
"Yeah, same here" Jack remembered. "I don't suppose you could show me where his room is could you?"
"Yeah, Sure. This place can get a bit confusing. It is easy to get lost"
"Yeah, I know a bit about that" Jack laughed.
"I hope you are here to cheer Tobey up, he's been walking around with a face like a slapped bum, since his bastard of a boyfriend, Jack dumped him. The pig didn't even turn up to see him off. That's what really hurt him. Oh, well, Tobey's probably better of with out him. He's probably ugly, all the Jack's I know are!" Jack didn't know what to say. "Oh, sorry, how rude of me. My name is Kaci" Kaci put out her hand. Jack shook it.
"Hi, I'm Jack" Jack half smiled at Kaci's distraught face.
"Oh, my God" She went bright red. "I am so sorry"
"It's not your fault. You only know what Tobey told you. I deserved it anyway, everything you said was true, I have been a bastard and a pig. I hope the ugliness bit isn't true though" Jack smiled.
"I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that stuff. I was out of order"
"Really, Kaci, don't worry about it. I would have probably done the same thing"
"God, I see what Tobey means now"
"What?"
"He said that it was impossible to hate you after talking to you, no matter what you've done. He was right"
"I hope he still feels the same"
"Why?"
"I am here to apologise. What I did was so wrong and I feel awful about it. I want him back, and will do anything to do so. I miss him. I love him" Jack began to well up.
"Come here" Kaci pulled him in to hug. "If you are trying to make me feel worse than I already do, it's working" Kaci looked at Jack "You sound like you really meant that"
"I do, I really love him and I need him back"
"Well, this is his room. I'm going to leave you to it. I have a class to get to. Good luck"
"Thanks" Kaci walked away leaving Jack outside Tobey's door. After a minute or two Jack finally plucked up the courage to knock on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again and again."Tobey went out about an hour ago" a passing boy said.
"Oh, do you know when he will be back?"
"No, sorry. I'd just wait if I were you. He shouldn't be too long"
"Okay, thanks" Jack sat down with his back and head against the wall next to the door. He looked at his watch."2:30" he said to himself. After a minute or two, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled before putting it to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Jen. It's me"
"What's going on? Have you seen him?"
"No, I'm sitting outside his room, he's out"
"Oh" Jen sounded disappointed.
"I've spoken to one of his friends. I think she said her name was Kaci"
"Oh?"
"Lets just say that she didn't think too highly of me. Well, not until I spoke to her. She said that Tobey told her that he found it impossible to hate me"
"That's lucky for you"
"I know"
"Oh, Jack. Grams told me not to tell you, but I though I should"
"Tell, me what?"
"Your dad's found out and to say that he isn't very happy would be an understatement. He rang here and ...I don't know whether he was just saying it or not, but...�"
"But what?" Jack sounded nervous.
"He mentioned the police"
"Great!" Jack dropped his head forward. "So I the last 24 hours I have had to get down on my knees and beg to my dad for money, sit next to a travel sick kid on the plain, suffer being called a bastard, pig and oh, yeah, ugly. I have also got lost in a city I know nothing about so I can sit outside a dorm room praying that Tobey, who potentially hates my guts, will take me back. And now on top of all that my dad is threatening to set the police on me. Great!"
"Well, at least things can only get better" Jen suggested. "Anyway, who said you were ugly?"
"Oh, it's a long story"
"So apart from all the above, how are you feeling?"
"Scared. Totally and utterly petrified. I have no idea what I can say to him to make this any better. I am dreading seeing the pain in his eyes that I know I caused"
"I know. It's going to be really hard, I would be lying if I told you otherwise, but if it works it will be worth it"
"And if it doesn't?"
"Then at least you've tried. At least you have let Tobey know how you feel about him. You will gain comfort in knowing that he knows that you still love him and that you realise that you were wrong"
"I guess"
"But it will work. Everything will be fine"
"Thanks"
"And if the police come looking for you I'll tell them that you have run away to France" Jen laughed."That might be a possibility"
"You don't really think your own dad would report you?"
"Definitely!" Jack sighed "I don't know. I hope not"
"I'll hope for you, you concentrate on getting that man back!"
"Deal"
"I'll talk to you soon"
"Yeah. Bye"
"Bye"
Tobey walked up the path to the halls of residence. He took a quick look at his watch, 22:37. He yawned as he carried on walking. He walked inside the building and went to collect his mail.
"Hey Tobey!"
"Yeah?" He turned round and answered.
"There's someone waiting for you outside your room" The guy answered.
"Who?"
"I don't know. He's not from round here. He's been waiting ages. He arrived about 2:30. I take it you weren't expecting anyone?"
"No, I wasn't" Tobey headed in the direction of his room. "Thanks"
"No problem"
Tobey walked quickly down the hallways, wanting to see who was at his door. As he turned the corner the figure became visible. He slowed down. He was about ten metres away from his door when he realised who is was. Jack's head was tilted back against the wall; legs pushed out infront of him. His eyes were closed; he was asleep. Tobey froze. He stared at Jack, speechless. That's when he felt it, his heart skip a beat. The sight of Jack asleep next to his door flooded him with many emotions, Anger, Upset, curiosity, pain, but most of all a mixture of love and passion, which grew from deep inside of him. Jack stirred.
"Jack?" Tobey whispered, moving closer. Jack's eyes opened. "Jack?" Tobey whispered again, not able to say anything else. Jack rubbed his eyes and stood up.
"Tobey"
"Jack, what are you doing here?"
"I needed to see you. I needed to apologise and tell you that I love you. Without you I am nothing. I need you. You're the only guy I have ever loved and are the only one I ever will. I will do anything to get you back" Jack held eye contact until Tobey broke it. He walked to his door and unlocked it. He walked in.
"I guess you better come in" Jack followed him in. Tobey sat on the bed, head in his hands. "So, how long did it take you and Jen to come up with that little speech?" Tobey said coldly.
"Pardon?"
"Come on. Do you really expect me to believe that after the way you treated me? Do you think I am stupid? Did you think I would fall for that?" Tobey stood up. He didn't notice the pain in Jack's eyes.
"What I just said it totally honest and from the heart. I tried to plan something to say, I just couldn't. And I didn't even ask Jen for help. The last time I saw you I was a total bastard. I know that and I hate myself for it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I knew I wasn't enough for you. You deserved better than a boyfriend on the other side of the country. I didn't want you to feel stuck in the relationship, and feel that I was holding you back from new experiences. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but I thought it was the best thing to do"
"So, why are here now?"
"Because I love you, and I can't live without you. I realised I had hurt you anyway. I was hurting everyone" Jack explained "I left the frat" Tobey looked up in shock.
"Why?"
"It wasn't me. It changed me in to someone I have always hated. I wanted to change; I didn't want to be just the gay guy. That's why I joined the frat. It just took me too long to realise I was still the gay guy. The only difference is that when I looked at myself in the mirror, I had an added reason to hate myself. I pushed everyone that I cared about away and now I have to at least try to get them back" Jack paused. "That is why I am here. Because I care about you, and I must at least try to get you back"
"Jack, I... What do you expect me to say?"
"I don't expect anything from you. I am just going to have to live with what you decide"
"And what decision am I suppose to be making?"
"Whether you forgive me or not. Whether you believe me and whether you are going to take me back" Tobey sat back down."I...I believe that you meant everything you just said and I forgive you" Jack looked at him "But...I can't take you back. I do still love you, I probably always will. I just can't take you back"
"Why? Is there someone else?"
"No. There is no one else. But I can't risk you changing again. I am not willing to put myself through all that again. I can't, I won't" Tobey saw tears running down Jack's face. "I am really sorry, but you were right. It can't possibly work. Long distance relationships never do. Even if it does work out during college, what about after? I think this is the best thing. I'm sorry"
"It's...it's okay" Jack picked up his bag "I...I better go" Jack walked to the door
"Jack. Where are you going? Why don't you stay the night?" Jack looked at Tobey. "We can still be friends?"
"You know that never works, no matter how hard you try" Jack dried the tears from his face and opened the door. "I better go, I'll try and change my flight. The police are probably looking for me by now anyway" Jack walked out closing the door behind him, leaving Tobey standing alone, confused and on the brink of tears. The doorbell rang. Jen answered the door.
"Jack?" She could see that he had been crying "Come here" She pulled him in to a hug. She heard his crying start up again. "It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I just want to go to bed" Jen released Jack.
"I'm afraid I have some more bad news"
"What?"
"Your dad's here. Shall I get rid of him?"
"No, it's okay" Jack dropped his bag down and walked in to the living room, where his dad was seated.
"So, did you have a good trip?" His dad asked coldly.
"Not really"
"So we can add theft to your list of disappointments"
"Dad, just leave me alone. I am not in the mood"
"I was trying to protect you. The last time you ran after a boy you got your heart broken, and by the state of you I am guessing it happened again. I knew it would"
"I'm guessing it feels great to always be right?"
"Do you really think it feels good to see you in this kind of a state?"
"I don't know. I honestly don't know with you!"
"You should have listened to me. It would have saved you a lot of pain and me a lot of money!"
"God, I will pay you back. I was mum's idea to take the card anyway and it was worth it"
"How can you say it was worth it the state you're in?"
"Because I acted on my feelings, I pushed my fears aside and did what I felt was right. Last night was probably the worst experience of my life. I had the man I love tell me that he can't take me back, it was horrible, but I wouldn't change my actions. At least this way he knows how I feel. This way I faced my fears and no matter how much pain I am in, it was worth it because I got to see him again. So you can say what you like to me, you can report me to the police, I don't care, nothing will hurt more than last night and it still would have been worth it! So do what you like. I am going to bed!" As Jack left the room the doorbell rang. Jack pulled the door open and froze. Tobey stared in to Jack's blood shot eyes.
"Tobey?" Jack whispered. Both Jen and Mr. McPhee turned around in shock hearing Jack's words. "What..." before Jack could finish Tobey stepped closer and pulled Jack in to a kiss. When he finally pulled away Jack saw Kaci standing behind Tobey. She waved.
"I'm sorry. I was wrong. I can take you back. I need you too. I was shocked to see you last night. I wasn't thinking straight. I love you too. I just needed a shove in the right direction" Tobey smiled at Jack's still shocked face.
"That's where come I to it" Kaci smiled. "I felt really guilty about what I said to you. When I actually spoke to you, you seemed really nice and all the way through my lesson I just kept remembering all the nice things Tobey told me about you and I felt awful. I saw you leaving, you seemed really upset. I went to Tobey and found him in the same state. He told me that he felt awful for upsetting you and he had made the wrong choice. He thought that there was nothing he could do, so I dragged him down to the airport, we just missed you so we jumped on the next flight" Kaci smiled proudly. Jack was still totally shocked.
"You found yourself a Jen" he said to Tobey who couldn't help but laugh.
"So, do you want to try again? Do you forgive me?" Tobey asked. Jack went quiet, Tobey's face dropped. "Jack, I am so sorry about last night" Tobey was nearly begging. Jack said nothing, just pulled Tobey in to a big hug.
"I missed you" Jack whispered in to Tobey's ear.
"You too" Tobey smiled. Jack looked up to see Kaci crying.
"Does she always get this emotional?" Jack asked worriedly. Tobey broke away and looked at Kaci and then over Jack's shoulder towards Jen.
"Yeah, but I think you should be worrying about yours" Tobey laughed as Jack looked at Jen, whose face was also streaming with tears. Jen ran over and gave Tobey and Jack a hug.
"My boys are back together" she sobbed.
"Hey, Tobey's mine" Kaci moaned.
"No, he's mine" Jack smiled.
"I could get used to this" Tobey laughed.
"So are you the one who said my boy was ugly?" Jen said to Kaci.
"Guilty. But in defence, I didn't know that I was talking about him. He's gorgeous!" Kaci smiled.
"He's mine!" Jen grinned.
"Mine" Tobey laughed.
"I believe he is mine" Mr. McPhee said walking over. Kaci looked half-confused and half-scared.
"He's Jack's dad" Tobey whispered to her.
"Thank God. I was quite scared then. I thought he had a weird older boyfriend thing going on for a minute then" She whispered back.
"Jack, I'm sorry. I guess you did the right thing. Forget about the money, it's not a big deal"
"Thanks dad. So I'm guessing that I won't be receiving a visit from the police after all" Jack joked.
"What was that about the police anyway?" Tobey asked.
"It's a long story. I'll tell you later" Jack laughed.
"I can't believe you took your dad's card" Tobey laughed.
"Well, he wouldn't give me the money and I had to see you. I had no choice. Anyway, it was my mum's idea" Jack climbed in to bed next to Tobey.
"Well, in that case, I'm glad you did" Tobey smiled and he leant in to kiss Jack. Tobey pulled away out of breath. "Tomorrow, we can go out and this time I will not even answer my phone"
"Good because I don't think I can go through all this again" Tobey smiled.
"Tobey, you will never have to. I love you and will never leave you again. That's a promise"
The End