By Joanna ([email protected])
Note: I don�t own any of the characters I write about, and these events didn�t appear on the shown. I wanted to write a fic that didn�t involve Jack feeling like he needed to define himself with a boyfriend. I wanted to make him stronger than he appears in some other fanfics (No putting down those fics, they are good. I just wanted to write something different) All changes to the show are explained with in the fic. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.
The doorbell rang.
�I�m coming� Grams called. She left Jen and Jack at the kitchen table and went to the door.
�Can I help you?� Grams asked the tall dark featured boy standing in the doorway. Nether Jack or Jen could see who it was.
�Uh, yeah. I�m not sure if I have the right place. Does Jack McPhee live here?� The boy asked. Jack looked at Jen instantly recognising the voice.
�Yes, he does. Who shall I say is looking for him?�
�I�m Ethan�
�Okay, if you don�t mind waiting here I will go see if he is still around�
�Sure� Ethan answered before Grams shut the door, leaving him standing in the porch.
�What is he doing here?� Jack stood up and went to leave. Jen grabbed his sleeve.
�Where are you going?� she asked.
�I don�t want to see him�
�Why?� Jen looked at him.
�Jen, don�t you remember the last time I saw him? I totally embarrassed myself, I�m not doing it again�
�Don�t you even want to find out why he is here?� Jack looked her in the eyes. �He might be here to apologise� Jen suggested.
�Or he could be here to drag up the past that I have only just got over emotionally� Jack went to leave again, but Jen still had hold of him.
�I am not going to let you walk away from this. You are going to go out there and see what he wants� Jen stood up and started pushing him in the direction of the door.
�Grams? Please stop her� Jack pleaded staring her in the eyes.
�I�m sorry, Jack. I know it doesn�t happen often, but I agree with Jen whole heatedly�
�Thanks, remind me not to come to you for help again� Jack said sarcastically.
�Sorry, Jackers. We know what is best for you� Jen opened the door and pushed him in to the porch.
�Jen!� It was too late, the door slammed behind him leaving him alone on the porch with Ethan.
�I guessed that you wouldn�t be that thrilled to see me� Ethan said.
�Yeah, well, you guessed right� Ethan was sitting in one of the chairs at the end of the porch.
�So, I guess you want to know why I�m here?�
�Correct again. But if you are only here to make me feel stupid, I don�t want to know, you can just leave now!�
�Jack, please don�t be like that� Ethan sighed.
�Like what? Upset, angry? What did you really expect from me? You left me after that stupid prom feeling that I had let you down and that I wasn�t enough for you, which I obviously wasn�t! I managed to pluck up the courage to kiss you, infront of God knows how many people, just to find out that you were back with you ex-boyfriend and he saw every embarrassing detail of what had just happened. I then spent the whole of the summer mentally debating when or even whether you would have told me about what ever his name is!�
�Brad� Ethan added.
�I don�t care what his name is! The point is you really expect me to be happy to see you? I spent all of the summer secretly wishing you were dead! And now you�re here which leaves me wondering, what creative way you have come up with to hurt and embarrass me again?!�
�Jack, please calm down�
�Don�t tell me what to do, you�re not my boyfriend!�
�No, but I want to be� Ethan stood up.
�What?� Jack whispered.
�Brad and I didn�t work out. We aren�t right for each other, we never were. I love you, not him� Ethan answered.
�And it took you all summer to realise that?�
�No, it took me the time I spent watching you walk back to the car. I realised that I had really hurt you. I realised that I wanted you but I also knew that Brad was right behind me and there was nothing I could do�
�So basically, out of the two of us, you found it easier to see me in pain, rather than him?�
�I didn�t find it easy seeing you in pain. It broke my heart�� Jack interrupted.
�It broke ~your~ Heart?!�
�Jack I am so sorry, I really am. I broke up with him that day. I then sent the whole of the summer to pluck up the courage to come and see you. When I finally managed to find it, I couldn�t find you. I ended up asking around Capeside, everyone I saw I asked if they knew where you were�
�Who told you?�
�Um�I think she said her name was Gale�from next door�
�Yeah, Gale Leery�
�So, why have you moved away from home again?�
�My dad had to move away permanently for work and Andie is in Italy. I didn�t really fancy living alone�
�So�everything�s cool with your dad?�
�Yeah, It�s better. I guess I have you to thank for that�
�Me?�
�Yeah, my dad and I were two of the members of the �Anti-Ethan association� along side Jen, Grams and Dawson. After he saw how upset I was�I don�t know�he must have realised that just because I was gay it didn�t mean that I was no longer human� Jack explained.
�I�m glad I could help� Ethan laughed.
�I used to lie I bed at night wondering what would have happened if there was no Brad or if you had chosen me over him. Every night it was the same thoughts� Jack remembered.
�Well, I guess now is the time to find out the answers to those questions. I am here. I have chose you. Brad is out of the way� Ethan smiled, moving closer to Jack.
�But then�One night I realised I didn�t need you. And I still don�t. You�re too late. I�m 100% over you. I guess I need to thank you for something else too�
�What�s that? Ethan was confused.
�Thank you for breaking my heart, Ethan� Jack paused and carefully looked at Ethan�s confused expression. �I was so immature. I saw love as a fairytale, I don�t anymore. You opened my eyes to reality. I now see the truth. Even though you have made me totally petrified to fully giving myself to anyone emotionally, you have made me a much stronger person. And the fear, It is not necessarily a bad thing. Because when I do fully give myself to someone, it will be for love, not a teenage crush. I have realised I don�t need to devote myself to the first good-looking guy who comes along, just because he is gay. I�ve realised that all you were was a teenage crush with Disney Prince-charming good-looks and I don�t need you. I�ve toughened up, I�ve grown up and I�ve wised up� Jack paused. The pain in Ethan�s face was too intense to look at. �I stopped lying awake at night, I stopped dreaming about you. I even stopped thinking about you. You�re too late. You had your chance and you blew it� The porch went silent.
�I�m sorry� Ethan whispered in pain. �What have I done to you?� Jack looked at him confused. �I have ruined love for you. You shouldn�t be scared of love. You shouldn�t have those sorts of barriers up. You should let people in and experience new things. You shouldn�t hide from it or push people away� Ethan sighed �But, I�ve done that to you. I have possibly wrecked your future with a really great guy all because I didn�t realise what I had until it was too late. I�m sorry� Ethan picked up his coat and walked to the door. �I except that you will never take me back, but please don�t let my actions ruin you. Go back to the immature naivet� that you once possessed, that�s part what I love about you�
�That�s the part you took advantage of�
�I know and I feel awful about it, because my actions caused me to lose you and I will have to deal with that for the rest of my life. I just don�t want to be responsible for ruining your life as well as mine� Ethan walked out the door, but quickly turned and walked back in. �And what I feel for you now, it isn�t just a teenage crush, it�s love, I know it is. And if one day you wake up and feel like you have made a mistake as big as mine was, call me, I�ll be waiting, thinking about you. Because until the day you are ready to forgive me and take me back, my heart will never love again�
�I forgive you� Jack paused �But�I will never forget. I don�t think I could ever take you back not after the pain you put me though� Jack turned away from Ethan and walked back into the house, leaving Ethan alone with his tears.
The End