By Joanna ([email protected])
Setting: This is set at the end of season 4. Andie is in Italy; the rest are left in
Capeside.
Changes: Pacey and Joey never happened (None of it). Jack and Tobey never
happened (None of it) True love is still around. Everything else is the
same except someone�s sexual orientation.
Author's Note: This fic was inspired by a song called �lay my love on
you� by Westlife, I don�t know why, but I came with this idea while
listening to it. I was originally going to use the lyrics from that song,
but I changed my mind (girls are allowed to do that). The Title and Lyrics
now come from one of my favourite songs �Amazed� by Lonestar.
�It�s stupid. There�s no point in coming to school on the last few days.
All that happens is an over enthusiastic cheerleader sells prom tickets and
arrange stupid events like this� Pacey moaned, waving around a sheet of
paper. Jen took it from his hand.
�Talent show. Friday evening. $3 per ticket to be bought at auditions,
Thursday lunchtime� She read before spitting her chewing gum in to it and
throwing it in to the trash.
�Wow, it seems they have given embarrassment a new name. Who in their right
mind would do that to themselves?� Jack asked.
The group of friends sat together in the lunchroom, passing time before
their final exam.
�So. Who�s everyone taking to the prom?� Dawson asked tightening his grip
on Joey�s hand. Ever since they had got back together their hands seemed to
be glued together.
�Well�That�s a difficult one�� Joey laughed. ��I might check out the chess
club, some are kinda hot� she smiled at Dawson to make sure he knew that she
was joking.
�Well, Jackers here has set me up with a very worthy football player� Jen
smiled.
�Yeah, I even convinced him to shower and not wear his football jersey!�
Jack laughed.
�Pacey?� Dawson asked. Jack smiled. This was it. It was time.
�I�Uh�I don�t know yet. I�m leaving my options open. I�ve had a few offers
from a couple of lovely girl. Toss of a coin I guess� Pacey laughed.
Jack�s face dropped. Pacey saw it, Jen too.
�God, Pace. That�s just like you� Joey laughed. So did Dawson. Jen was
too busy looking at the expression on Jack�s face. She felt her heart brake
with his. Guilt took over Pacey�s body. �What about you, Jack?� The sound
of his name brought him back to life.
�Oh�Um�I�m�I�m not going� Jack held eye contact with Pacey before standing
from the table. �Excuse me� He whispered as he left. The table went quiet.
*~*~*~*~*
Jack rushed in to an empty classroom. He wanted to get away from everyone.
Pacey had had so many chances to tell them and each time he bailed, he was
ashamed of Jack. Jack had offered to do it for him but Pacey assured him
that he would do it. It had been three months of secrecy. The only people
who knew were Jen and Andie and that was Jack�s doing. Pacey had told no
one.
He would go round Jack�s house all the time. They would watch movies in
each other�s arms, kiss, be totally comfortable. But outside of the house
Pacey kept his distance. He never got too close, never touched Jack. The
only times he would was when he was totally sure that no one was looking.
Jack couldn�t understand why he hadn�t left Pacey. Pacey obviously didn�t
feel for Jack as much as he felt for Pacey. Jack loved him, he had never
said it out loud, but he did none the less. The night Pacey confessed his
feelings and his homosexuality was the night Jack�s dreams came true. Now,
the secrets were like a nightmare that Pacey wouldn�t let him wake up from.
That was it. He couldn�t live like that any longer. It wasn�t fair on him
and not on Pacey if he wasn�t ready to face his sexuality. Jack had already
been through all of this; he had just got through it. He wasn�t prepared to
be dragged back down by someone else�s insecurities, especially when the
other person wasn�t ready to face them himself. Jack knew it wasn�t nice,
but he couldn�t be with Pacey when Pacey denied their relationship to their
closest of friends. Jack wasn�t prepared to live another secret.
*~*~*~*~*
The door opened and Pacey poked his head round, forcing a half smile as
their eyes made contact. Jack ignored the smile, refusing to return it.
�Are you okay?� Pacey asked sitting on the desk next to Jack.
�I�m fine. I�ve kind of got used to you bailing out of telling people�
�Jack�I��
�You know, when I said it would be best if we didn�t go to the prom
together, I said it to make it easier on you, so you didn�t feel any
pressure. I�hoped�deep down that you would realise that I wanted to go�with
you. I hoped you would too and actually do something about it. I hoped
that you would keep your promise and tell people that I�m your boyfriend,
make it possible for us to go. But you didn�t. I could just about cope
with that. But�But to hear you talking about taking one of those
girls�You�ll never know how much that hurt!� Jack snapped. Pacey was unsure
what to say.
�I thought you were going to go with Jen� He sighed.
�No! Why would I? Yeah, she�s my bestfriend, but you�re my boyfriend. I
thought that meant something. Obviously not�
�Jack, it does mean something. It does to me anyway. I want to be with
you� Pacey protested. He took Jack�s face in his hands. Jack pulled away.
He stood infront of Pacey.
�You have a funny way of showing it. You say you want me, but you don�t
want anyone else to know�
�It�s not that simple!�
�Yes it is! Pacey, it is!� Jack tried to quieten down. �Pace, if you
really wanted me, you wouldn�t be too ashamed to tell anyone�
�Jack, I�m not ashamed of you� Pacey protested weakly.
�Sure you�re not, Pace. That�s why you haven�t told anyone, not even our
closest of friends?�
Pacey stood up, pulling Jack close, holding him in place. �I�m not ashamed
of you� Pacey pulled him in to a kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around
Jack�s waist and lower back, showing comfort. The kiss was soft and gentle.
Jack eventually pulled away. �I�m not ashamed, Jack� he whispered.
�So, why can you only do that when we�re alone?� Pacey was able to see the
hurt in Jack�s eyes. He couldn�t answer. �I want to be with you, Pacey.
If you felt the same way you would be able to tell people. If not�I can�t
be with you. It�s not fair� Jack tried to move away but Pacey still held
him close.
�You�re not being fair. You know how I feel. You remember what it was like
with Ethan� Pacey hated bring up Jack�s painful past, but he couldn�t help
it �Sometimes you can�t bring yourself to do things, no matter how much you
want to�
�And then it�s too late� Jack replied, pulling away from Pacey. �When you
finally do it, you realise you took too long and the person you care about
is gone� Jack sighed in remembrance. �That�s why I�m telling you, Pace.
Because if you keep stalling for time I may be gone when you finally feel
ready. That hurts, Pace. Believe me, I know what it feels like; it�s
crushing. I don�t want to go through that again and I don�t want you to
experience it either. I don�t want it to happen to either of us�
�Jack��
�But, it will if you don�t act soon�
�Jack, I don�t want to lose you� Pacey whispered, taking Jack�s hand.
�Then you know what to do. It�s been three months. I don�t want to be your
secret anymore. I want to be your boyfriend. I want you to be as proud of
that as I am, not ashamed� Jack looked down at their linked hands. �I can�t
put a time on this but I know you don�t have long, I can�t take much more of
this; it hurts� Their hands broke apart as Jack moved to the door. �I hope
you have a nice prom. Who ever fate chooses for you to take� With that Jack
left the room, leaving Pacey standing alone with his mental debate. What
was he going to do?
*~*~*~*~*
�Jen, open the door. I need to talk to you� Pacey called. The door opened.
�Why should I talk to you after what you did to Jack yesterday? He came
back here after the exam, which he probably failed because of you, near to
tears� She snapped. �I told you right at the beginning that if you hurt him
I�d��
�Jen, stop! I know I was wrong and I know that he�s hurt. I love him. I
have to make it up to him, but I need your help� Pacey begged. He couldn�t
believe he had confessed his love for Jack to Jen before actually telling
Jack himself. �Please, I can�t lose him now�
�What do I have to do?� Jen sighed. Pacey pulled four tickets out of his
pocket.
�I bought four tickets for the talent show, front row. All you have to do
is make sure that you, Joey, Dawson and most importantly Jack are sitting in
these seats tomorrow night at seven o�clock. Can you do that?�
�Pacey, why would we want to do that?� Jen asked taking the tickets.
�Because if you do your lives will change�well kinda� He forced a laugh.
�Please, Jen. Please just do it and don�t ask anymore questions. I can�t
tell you anymore. Just make sure Jack has his petty ass in that chair
before the show starts, please!� He begged.
�Okay, Pacey, I�ll do it. But where will you be?�
�Jen, I said no more questions�
�I�m sorry� She sighed.
�Make sure that they are all there, okay?�
�Don�t worry, it�s sorted� Jen smiled warmly. She knew that Pacey loved
Jack, she just hated his games, they only caused Jack pain. What ever he
had planned, it better be good. For his and Jack�s sake. Maybe he needed
an excuse to get them all together so he could spill the beans, so to speak,
before taking Jack on their first recognised date.
�Earth to Jen. Hello. Where were you, La la land?� Pacey laughed, waving a
hand infront of her face.
�Sorry, I was just thinking about what you could have planned� Jen
confessed.
�Well, by the look that stole your face, I know it�s not as good as what
you�re imagining� Pacey laughed.
�For your sake, Pace, I hope it is�
*~*~*~*~*
�Jen, why are we here? I can think of better ways to spend my Friday
evening� Joey groaned.
�Here�s our seats� Jen smiled ignoring the moaning from the other three.
�Seriously, Jen. Why are we here?� Jack requested
�Honestly, Jackers, I don�t know. Pacey came round yesterday and told me to
make sure that we were all here. It must be important, he paid out for the
tickets himself� Jen joked. She leaned in to Jack and whispered, �He made
me promise to get your �pretty ass� here� She giggled, Jack blushed.
The other two were oblivious to Jen�s last comment. �Why did he get front
row? He knows that you can�t make fun of the acts in the front row� Dawson
complained.
�Yeah. And I see he didn�t buy himself a ticket. He saved himself from
this torture. He�s obviously not coming, why�s that?� Joey questioned Jen.
�Look, I really don�t know why you are all giving me the third digree, I�m
as much in the blue as you guys are. For all I know he could be coming� Jen
sighed, marginally annoyed with Pacey for doing this to her. �Let�s just
sit down. It�s starting� They finally did as they were asked, sitting down
with out protest.
*~*~*~*~*
It didn�t carry on that way for long. By the third act they were all
complaining again.
�Jen, I�m not in the mood for all this. I just want to go home and wallow
on self-pity� Jack whispered while a cheerleader was carrying a microphone
on to the stage. �In fact, that�s what I�m going to do� Before he could
stand he heard a familiar voice coming from the stage.
�Hey, everybody� Pacey smiled.
�What�s he doing?� They all asked Jen in unison.
�I have no idea� Jen laughed.
�Ladies and gentlemen, the next act is Pacey Witter, who apparently wants to
introduce his own piece� The cheerleader smiled as she started up a warm
round of applause. It was then that Pacey realised how full the room was,
with people he�d known nearly his whole life. He stole a breath before
raising the mic to his mouth.
�Hello, everyone� The spotlight fell on him and he began to sweat. �To be
honest with you all, I don�t know why I entered a talent show, because those
of you that know me could confirm that I really don�t have any talent to
show� There were a few laughed, the loudest being from Dawson, Joey and Jen.
Jack stayed silent, looking up at his boyfriend who he hadn�t spoken to in
days. �Well, I�m here to perform a song, but I need to make a few apologies
first. I will be singing a song by �Lonestar�, so I�m sorry to those of you
don�t know them or hate their music. And I�m sorry to those of you who like
them because I am about to murder one of their songs� There were some more
laughs. �I would also like to apologise to any girl who asked me to the
prom, I kind of have a date. Actually�um�sorry to every girl. The person
I�m hoping to take to the prom is someone I�ve hurt quite badly recently by
lying to my friends. I really want to make it up to them for being such an
idiot. I�m sorry, but the person I want to take to the prom is�my
boyfriend�Jack McPhee�
Everyone looked at Pacey in shock before turning to Jack who sat
uncomfortably. Dawson and Joey looked like they�d had heart attacks. Jack
stared back at Pacey, red with embarrassment. �I�m sorry, Jack. I�ve been
so stupid and I�m so sorry for hurting you� Pacey came to the edge of the
stage and lowered the mic form his mouth. �You might want to be careful
when you leave, there�ll be some very angry girls out to get you� Jack
rolled his eyes.
Pacey moved back to centre stage and spoke in to the mic. �Anyway. I just
wanted you all to know� Pacey said to the audience. �The song I�m going to
kill is for Jack. It says a little about what I feel� Pacey nodded to the
cheerleader standing in the wing to put the music on. Pacey took a breath
as the introduction played out to the crowd.
�Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
It�s almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I�ve never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don�t know how you do what you do
I�m so in love with you
It just keeps on getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I�m amazed by you�
Pacey carried on singing.
�What the hell is he doing?� Jack whispered harshly to Jen, embarrassed by
Dawson and Joey still staring back and forth from him and Pacey.
�He�s serenading you a love song� Jen answered, smiling.
�Well, make him stop!�
�No can do, Jackers� She turned back to Pacey.
�The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby, you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
You know it feels like the first time, everytime
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes�
Pacey sand trying to hold eye contact with Jack, but he Jack kept looking
away. Maybe this wasn�t such a good idea after all. Maybe he should have
done it more discreetly. He had no time to think about it. He had a song
to finish.
�I don�t know how you do what you do
I�m so in love with you
It just keeps on getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I�m amazed by you�
The song finally came to an end. The audience jumped up from their seats
and began applauding both Pacey and Jack. Jack could feel people patting
him on the back but he didn�t turn to see who they were. Pacey smiled as he
took a bow. Jack, Dawson and Joey were the only people left seated. Two of
them shocked the other red with embarrassment. Jack quickly stood from his
seat and discreetly left the room with only Jen, Joey, Dawson and Pacey
noticing.
�Bye guys� Pacey said quickly before jumping from the stage and dashing in
the direction Jack had left in.
�Wow. I wonder how long that�s been going on. Jack and Pacey, weird�
Dawson broke the shocked silence.
�About three months� Jen replied. They looked at her shocked.
�You knew?� Joey asked.
�Of course I knew. Jack tells me everything�
*~*~*~*~*
�Jack!� Pacey dashed out of the building in search for Jack. �Jack!� He
suddenly saw him sitting on a bench near the car park. He walked over
hesitantly. �Jack?� Pacey sat next to him. Jack turned to face him and
flashed a sweet smile. �Thank God. I thought you were mad at me� Pacey
smiled, pulling Jack close, his arms around his back.
�No, I�m not mad. Slightly embarrassed, but not mad� She smiled sweetly,
laying his head on Pacey�s shoulder.
�I�m sorry, I didn�t mean to embarrass you�
�I know. It was sweet. A little out of tune, but sweet. I love that song�
�I know. I found your CD�
�Just because I had the CD, it doesn�t mean I like that specific song� Jack
looked up at him questioningly.
�Lucky guess?�
�Not buying it� Jack replied. Pacey laughed.
�Okay. A few weeks ago, when we were out on the boat you were humming it.
Obviously, as I don�t listen to that soppy rubbish I didn�t know what it
was. Anyway, you got it stuck in my head. I kept humming it. Andie rang
me one night to make sure I was being good to you and I unconsciously
started humming it� Pacey smiled as he kissed Jack�s hair. �She said that
you had been humming it on the phone earlier that day and told me what it
was� Pacey explained. �Well, I couldn�t get it out of my head, so�I
actually bought it and kind of got hooked� Jack laughed.
�Oh my, God did Pacey Witter just admit he likes �that soppy rubbish�?� Jack
mocked, raising his head from Pacey�s shoulder.
�Yeah, but it�s not the kind of thing I want spread round, y�know?�
�Oh, of course� Jack laughed. �God, wait until Andie finds out what you
just did�
�She already knows�
�What?�
�Well, I had to rehearse to someone who knew the tune and words and wasn�t
you. As far as I know that only left your sister� Pacey joked.
�You sang down the phone?�
�Kinda�
�Kinda?�
�Okay, I sang down the phone to your sister in Italy. It�s very hard when
she insists on laughing throughout the song� Jack couldn�t help but laugh.
�Oh, yeah, it was hysterical!�
�I�m sorry� Jack grinned.
�No. I am. I�ve been a total jerk. I should have told them all months
ago. I�m sorry�
�You�re forgiven� Jack smiled, cuddling further in to Pacey.
�I love you, Jack� Oh, my God. He said it. Jack froze, not knowing how to
react. �Jack?�
�I�m not surprised. I�m very loveable� Jack smiled.
�Okay, not quite the response I expected� A comfortable silence fell over
them. �Jack?� Jack looked up. �Will you be my date for the prom?�
�Well, I�m not letting you take anyone else� He smiled.
�Is that a yes?�
Jack nodded. Pacey�s lips found Jack�s and planted a gentle kiss on them.
�I love you too, Pace� Jack smiled. Their lips joined again and parted,
allowing the other�s tongue free entry. Pacey arms wrapped tighter around
Jack�s body as his tongue roamed Jack�s mouth. Jack released a soft groan,
before pulling away.
�Everytime our eyes meet, This feeling inside me, It�s almost more than I
can take, Baby when you touch me, I can how much you love me, And it just
blows me away, I�ve never been this close to, anyone or anything, I can hear
your thoughts, I can see your dreams.� Pacey whispered the lyrics of the
song to Jack as he stared I to his amazing blue eyes. �I love to kiss you,
Jack� he whispered
Jack closed his eyes and re-caught Pacey�s lips. Pacey was still holding
him close. He could almost feel Jack�s heart beating against his chest.
Pacey stroked Jack�s tongue with his own. He loved the taste of Jack�s
kiss, the smell of his skin, the feel of his soft hair running through his
fingers. He never wanted to let him go.
�Wow, that�s going to take a lot of getting used to� Jack and Pacey quickly
broke apart to see Joey, Jen and Dawson standing there slightly embarrassed.
�Sorry� Jack sighed.
Pacey couldn�t stop laughing, �You guys have such great timing�
�I�m guessing that everything�s okay between you two?� Jen giggled. Jack
nodded.
�So, Jack. Are you going to put Pacey out of his misery and go to the prom
with him?� Dawson asked.
�Well, after that tragic performance, no one else will go with him. I guess
I have no choice� Jack joked.
�Oh, yeah, everyone laugh. I pluck up a large amount of courage, confess my
love for Jack, come out to the school and you all laugh at me. Nice! Don�t
you think I�ve been through enough trauma?�
�Stop being so dramatic, Pace. The performing arts really don�t suit you�
Jack smiled.
�Oh, shut up and go write some poetry� Pacey retorted.
�At least mine was good. What was yours? Ode to the sports car or
something equally as touching?� Jack said sarcastically.
�Suddenly you know everything about both the performing arts and poetry?�
Pacey smiled.
�No. Just enough to know that you suck� Jack snickered.
�Okay, McPhee, you have three seconds to start running!�
�You wouldn�t dare�
�Wouldn�t I?� Jack looked Pacey in the eyes. �One�Two�� Jack jumped up from
the bench and stated running. �Three!� Pacey started after him.
�What are they like?� Joey laughed.
�A couple of kids� Dawson laughed back as Pacey caught up with Jack and
tackled him to the ground, straddling him.
�Try a couple of horny kids� Jen laughed.
�Jen!� Dawson and Joey snapped. �That�s just going too far� Joey laughed,
still watching them wrestle around in the grass.
�Give up, McPhee. I�ve got you!� Pacey laughed.
�Never!�
�Face it, McPhee, you�re mine� Pacey said, his face inches from Jack�s.
�You�re mine� He whispered a split second before their lips met.
Jack quickly countered, pinning Pacey to the soft grass below them. �I�m
yours and your mine�
�Fine by me. I love you and I�m not ashamed to admit it.� Pacey smiled as
heir lips met again.
�I don�t know how you do what you do
I�m so in love with you
It just keeps on getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I�m amazed by you�
The End