Part 2: I Say Hello
by Daizy ([email protected])
Jen was still sick when he showed up. She was still sleeping for 12 hours a night along with a nap or two during the day. She was still living off of soup and herbal tea. She was still weary and feverish. She was still avoiding any and all contact with the outside world.
The knock on the door was a surprise. In the last few days, there had been only two calls and no visitors. The first call was from Jack, assuring her he'd made it to Scott's California condo safely. He was giddy, he rambled about their stop in Las Vegas and countless other stories that Jen may have found amusing were she not bitter. Being alone in the apartment kept her that way. She hated going to sleep knowing she was the only one home. She hated the interminable silence around her. She hated it all.
The second call was from Andie. That didn't make much sense since Andie's calls were few and far between, even though Jack had lived there for years. Jack was the better correspondent. He contacted her often enough that Andie rarely needed to initiate a call. The talk with Andie was short. Just pleasantries, mostly. At the end, Andie was cut off by her 2-year-old daughter, Chelsea, who sounded as though she'd fallen and hurt her knee. It wasn't until after Jen hung up that she realized what kind of phone call it was. It was one of those are-you-okay calls, the ones for breakups or tragic accidents or something traumatic. It was one of those if-you-ever-need-anything calls.
The knock on the door was something completely different. There was no one left to console her. Jen was more private than she'd ever been, keeping mostly to herself, and she didn't expect any kind of visitor. As she sniffed on her way to the door, she realized it was probably someone coming about the apartment. Jack had told her he'd put an ad in the paper. This wasn't the best time to search for a prospective roommate, Jen was starting to feel desperate for company. Not just any company, Jack's company.
She pushed a loose curl behind her ear and coughed before she opened the door. There in front of her was possibly the last person she'd ever expected to see: Pacey.
She didn't realize until she got into bed that night that perhaps he hadn't told her the whole truth. His enthusiasm about the coincidence seemed a little forced, his smile just the slightest bit artificial. Jen knew what that would mean.
Her feet didn't make a sound as they tiptoed down the hall. Pacey was asleep and his snores were softly calling from the next room down. She snuck past his door into the front room. The newspaper was still on the table, untouched since her first glance at it that morning. It had been forgotten the moment Pacey showed up. He threw her so far off that most of the daily rituals had been forgotten. She flipped quickly to the Classified section and scanned for a few minutes. Sure enough, no article. Jen shook her head.
It was almost midnight, which meant it was only 9 in California. She knew she shouldn't call him, he was probably busy with Scott, but she couldn't help it. She had to smile about this and she needed Jack to smile with her.
"Hello?" Jack's voice said after the third ring.
"Hey, stranger," Jen said, trying to contain her happiness at hearing his voice.
"Jen, hey," he said, recognizing her.
"So that must've been a pretty good ad you put in the paper, huh?"
"He finally came?"
"Yup."
"I was wondering when he'd make it," Jack said.
"You and Andie set this up, didn't you?"
"I admit to nothing."
Jen smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate it."
"He'll be a good roommate. You may have to pick up after him, though."
Jen closed her eyes. She just wanted him to be sitting next to her. She wanted to throw her arms around him. Instead, all she could muster was a soft, "I miss you," into the phone.
"I miss you, too."
She bit her lip. It had only been a few days, too early to cry to him and make him worry about her.
"Hey, I'll call you later. Scott and I are going out."
"Sure," she said, nodding.
"Bye, Jen."
"Bye."
Bye, Jen?? Just 'Bye Jen?' Nothing else? He gave her better goodbye's when she would be running down to the corner store for some bread. She tried to settle down. She took deep breaths and, for the first time in a few years, thought about taking up yoga again. It would be good for her right now. So would a cigarette. She'd only smoked for a brief few weeks during her junior year. That idiotic rhetoric class drove her to it. She'd quit as soon as the final was over. But a tiny part of her yearned for that comfort. It made her wish she was a drinker or a smoker or something. Just something to put off this feeling she had in her stomach right now.
To fight the urge, she got up and pulled a thin book off the shelf: her master's thesis. It was sweetly familiar to read it again, she could practically recite it by heart. She'd worked on it for so long. Every time she looked at it, it made her feel good. It reminded her that she was good at something, that she'd accomplished something, that she was an important and intelligent person. Sometimes she needed to remember all that.
"Hey," a sleepy voice said.
Jen jumped to her feet guiltily. "Pacey, I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"Nah," he said, sinking on to the couch. He patted the seat next to him. "Sit down, Lindley."
She sat reluctantly. Pacey's arm went round her shoulders and brought her cozily close to him. Jen obliged him and placed her head on the only place it had left to go, his shoulder. He was wearing a grubby t-shirt and sweat pants, but they were warm from being between the sheets. She was a little hesitant at first. After all, she hadn't seen Pacey in a few years. Even then, they hadn't been the best friends. There'd been too many other people around all the time. There was Dawson, Joey, Andie, Jacksomehow, they'd never really been able to get close. Not close enough to curl up on the couch, anyway.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"No," she said automatically.
"Sure." He sounded skeptical.
"I just don't want to talk about it yet."
"It's Jack. You think he abandoned you. You're angry at him, but you miss him like hell."
Jen smiled and looked up at him. "You're a pretty astute guy."
He shrugged. "You know, I do what I can."
"He told me about you," Jen said with a twinkle in her eye.
"What? Jack blew my cover?"
"I'd already figured it out," she said haughtily. "It all seemed a little too coincidental. You just happen to be moving out here. You just happen to be going to the same school as I am. You just happen to find my apartment has a room for rent. And it all occurs just a few days after I get a call from Andie and Jack."
"Yeah, wellI was homeless. Not on the streets homeless, but without a permanent home homeless. I was bunking up with Andie and her husband, but I knew that wasn't going to last long. The guy wasn't overly fond of the idea of his wife's ex-lover sleeping down the hall. It was all Andie's idea, really."
"Oh," Jen said. She'd hoped it was Jack's idea, a kind of exchange, a token of goodwill. "It was nice of her."
"Yeah. You need someone, I need someone, it works out."
"So how's life been for Pacey Witter?"
He paused. "You know, let's tackle that nightmare of a subject when I'm a little more awake and a little more drunk."
Jen laughed. "Sounds good."
She pulled herself a little closer to him. His hand felt nice resting on her arm. The warmth of their bodies slowed her thoughts and soon they had both fallen asleep.
To be continued...