PART THREE 
 

“To die?” Jack repeated the clone’s words; disbelief crept into his voice and made it tight. “What the..?”

In a voice soft but resolute, the other man said,   “I figured if I stay here beyond my time.. It won’t take long… last time we were here a few hours..” His thoughts were muddled and his words were rushed. Thinking of suicide could do that to a person, Jack supposed. 

Daniel went on, “I know it’s out of the question, but..” He sighed deeply.  Jack didn’t know clones could sigh – did they even breathe?  “But I wish we could go back to your place.  We often talked of seeing our homes again.  Watching a ball game together, going to a ball game..   Some Hockey.. Jack missed Hockey so much!” Daniel smiled wistfully now as a memory warmed his thoughts.

“I missed coffee.  I didn’t need it, of course, but I missed the taste of it.  He missed listening to opera, reading Mad magazines, fishing or driving through the mountains, the sun on his face..”  Daniel lowered his face now as if thinking about the last point for a moment. 

With a soft cough as he kept his head down, he went on, “We wanted to swim in his pool, walk in the snow… make love in front of his fireplace..” He fell silent.  Jack swallowed.   As Daniel lifted his eyes to meet the Colonel’s astonished gaze, he asked in a soft voice, “Are you still living in Malbeck Drive, Jack?”

“Yeah-” He said hoarsely, all harsh words stripped from his mind as he saw the gentleness – and love - in the blue eyes looking at him.  There was something about Daniel’s expression that made Jack want to take him back to his place.. To watch hockey. To swim in his pool.  To make love to him in front of his fireplace.  He shook his head and rubbed both hands down his face roughly to scrub the idea from his mind.  He got to his feet and turned his back on Daniel to quell his thoughts and stepped away from the table.

“How are the roses?”

Spinning on the spot, Jack stared at him again.  The clone was referring to the roses that lined the pathway to his front door?  Jesus!  Jack started to feel shaky deep inside.  His mouth gaped open as his mind tried to grasp the notion that this clone - this man - once knew him as intimately as the ‘reeal’ Daniel did, and no doubt, more so than Daniel ever would.  Jack realized that this was the same ‘being’ that had spent Saturdays with him, sprawled across his sofa, drinking soda while egging him about his team losing the ball game.  The same ‘mind’ that had comforted him just by being there on the second anniversary of Charlie’s death three years ago. The same ‘body’ that he’d fantasized over whilst spurting his release into his fist and across his stomach. 

“They’re..” Jack’s voice sounded disembodied, even to his own ears.  “Rosy.” He shrugged, bereft of words.  The smile on Daniel’s face made his heart thud hard against his ribs.  Dammit. 

“It won’t take long,” the luscious pink lips said. Jack shook himself again and dragged his attention from the mouth.

“Huh?”

Daniel reached across the table with one hand as he asked, “But will you hold me?  I held.. Jack.. and..” He dropped his head again and the curtain of hair secluded his face while the outstretched hand curled into a fist against the pocked tabletop. 

Jack felt the grief like a sword in his own side, now that he knew that when Daniel spoke of being ‘alone’ he really meant it – the guy, clone, whatever, had lost his friends *and* his lover and Jack suddenly felt pangs for him that weren’t there before.  He took in a deep breath, unable to satiate his lungs, which seemed to be starved of oxygen.  His eyes searched the ceiling as if the stains upon it might hold the answers to this inconsolable situation.  Slowly he became aware of the camera in the corner, trained straight at him.  He looked at the heartbroken clone, head still bowed.  “Hold you?” He whispered, nothing in his voice indicating either agreement or repulsion at the thought.  

Daniel raised his face and there were tears in his eyes. “Please,” the clone said softly, the word skimmed of his dry lips.  “I don’t want to die alone.”

Jack searched the young face and bit down hard to avoid letting his emotions overcome him – this was Daniel asking him to help him commit suicide.  “How… How will it..?”

“I should run out of power in a few hours.  I did last time..”

“From what I read in that report, it was pretty violent.. Your .. The teams.. reactions to the power deficiency.”

“The only other way is to switch me off at the source, which is, I’ll admit, a gentler form of drain and more immediate.. and I could be with Jack when I expire..…” Daniel stumbled on the words for a moment as if saying them hurt him somehow.  After he’d regained his composure, he looked back at Jack.  “But that requires you to be on P3x-989.. with.. me..” His eyes blinked rapidly and gave away the fact that it was his preferred way to go, but that the hold-me-til-I-die idea was the only one he thought Jack would agree to it. “And that’s not going to happen,” Daniel said, with a fatalistic shrug.  “So I’ll just collapse here like I did last time.  I’m not sure what you’ll want to do with either of us...”

“What?” Jack couldn’t shake off the fog in his mind.

Matter-of-factly, Daniel said, “We know so much, about here, about Earth.  The others have been disposed of, I saw to that so that the information they held couldn’t be used against any of us.. but-” He gave a sad smile and lowered his face once more.

“I couldn’t bring myself to do that to Jack.. And I can’t do that to me… So afterwards you’re going to have to …Jack? Are you okay?” He studied Jack’s expression. “Look, I know this is a strange request but even you must be able to see the National Security issue here..”

 “A strange request?” Jack’s voice cracked with a mixture of suppressed emotion, coming out angry.  “You want to *die* in my arms and you think I’m worried about a damn National Security issue?”

“Jack, I have no one else..” the clone’s voice implored him softly as he studied his hands resting on the table.  Jack watched what he was doing.  He was rubbing the tip of his index finger onto the side of his thumb – He’d seen Daniel do that a dozen times or more, mostly when he was stressed or particularly upset about something. 

Compassion flooded through him, escaping in a heavy sigh.  He stopped at the table and leaned onto his out stretched arms.   “I can’t..”

Daniel’s face winced. “Please.  I know it’s not easy. I’ve been there.  I had to do it for Jack..”

Jack swallowed at the look on the handsome face.  The sadness upon it - borne from absolute love - tore at his lonely heart.  In a slightly choked voice, he asked, “What happened to him?”

“Does it matter now?” Daniel looked like he didn’t want to share that painful memory with him.

“It matters to me,” Jack told him, gently. 

Grief flicked across the features of the clone as he darted his head down, hiding his face once more.  Soon his shoulders lifted, as if he inhaled deeply, then said wretchedly, “About a month ago...” Instantly, Jack started to wonder what he was doing about a month ago. 

“There was this pipe that had broken.  The pressure went up and Jack told me to stay and monitor the computer while he went off to fix it.  So I waited and waited..” His voice trailed off and Jack heard his voice hitch before he looked up again.  “I went looking for him and found him…” He clenched his jaw as he stared off to the corner of the room.  “He’d fallen from the top of the complex, right to the bottom, about 12 stories.”

Feeling like he was listening to the death of a good friend, Jack reached across and laid his hand on Daniel’s arm as he sank slowly into the chair.   “I’m sorry, Danny.”

*

Hammond looked at the others surrounding him in the monitoring room. When Jack reached out to touch the forearm of the clone everyone had a reaction. 

“What the hell’s happening in there?” His frustration made his voice rise slightly. 

Sam shrugged and her gaze went over to the man standing in the corner of the room, still hugging himself.  As soon as they’d watched Jack leap to his feet on the monitor earlier, Daniel had sighed heavily and turned from the screen, moving away from the curious group gathered in front of the screen.

Sam wasn’t sure what it all meant but sensed that there was something that this clone might know about *their* Daniel that he didn’t want the others to know.   And somehow it involved Jack!

*

Daniel moved his other hand to lie over Jack’s hand.  He held the older man’s attention for a moment before the chocolate-brown eyes diverted towards the camera in the corner of the room.  Jack sat back and as he did, his touch slithered from Daniel’s grasp. 

“Sorry,” the clone said with a soft cough as he sat back as well. He draped one arm over the back of the chair now as he stretched out one leg under the table.  It brushed lightly against Jack's calf. 

“It’s okay-” Jack shrugged, not bothering to move his leg at all.  “You were saying, you found him-” He indicated with his hand for him to go on.

Sitting up straighter, Daniel brushed his thumb across his lips before tilting his face up again - the blue eyes blinking frantically as he recalled the pain of discovering the man he loved after the accident. 

“He was broken beyond any repair I could have given him-” The voice was hushed - almost a whisper.  Raising his golden brows, not hidden behind any frames as the clone didn’t wear glasses, Daniel recalled miserably; “His inner workings were snapped and bent, and he was losing fluids.  He’d .. ummm.. he’d hit a couple of railings on his way down, you see, so he couldn’t get up.” 

Pausing abruptly, the clone sniffed harshly as he looked around the room, seeming to take some solace in the fact that this was just a memory – that he wasn’t living it.  With a loud sigh, he pushed himself out of the chair, looking suddenly weary as he stood to pace the room.  Jack sat back and watched him. He was so much like Daniel was – he still hugged himself and gnawed at his bottom lip whenever he was distressed about something.  Jack had wanted to take Daniel in his arms so often when he saw his coping mechanisms kick in like that – but he knew he couldn’t! 

“Harlan gave us the knowledge we needed to repair the complex and each other, but even that was limited.  Then Jack started shaking - I knew it was *really* bad-” He paused long enough to, seemingly, catch his breath then he dropped his chin to his chest as he tightened his hold on himself.  “So..  so I scooped him up into my lap, stroked his forehead as he looked up at me and I asked him what I should do.  He said to switch him off.”

“Switch him off?”

Daniel nodded. “Through the computer system.  I stopped his Onboard Receiver absorbing the energy in the complex, and he slowly faded out on me.” The bereft man sniffed harshly. “So I did what he told me to. I turned off the transmitter. I went back to him. I made him as comfortable as I could and I.. I….” He bit his lips together as he flared his nostrils then tried for a brave smile. “I told him I loved him and  I..  kissed him, but when I pulled back, he was gone.” 

Overwhelmed by the grief of the other man, Jack diverted his eyes and sighed loudly himself, trying to settle the uneasiness that was creeping throughout him.

A quiet voice cut through the tension in the room.  “And I’ve been alone there ever since. Just me - and the complex that wanted to self-destruct.  I visit Jack, he’s lying in a room nearby, but it isn’t the same as having someone with me, you know?”

“So why don’t you let it?” he asked.

“Let it what?”

“Self- destruct?”

A wan smile came across the clone’s lips.  “I considered it.  But if it didn’t take me out, or Jack out?  What if we could somehow be taken by someone – used against Earth?” He shook his head.

“Bury the gate?” Jack said. 

Daniel looked at him and said, patiently, “We both know that not all aliens travel by Gate, Jack.”

The older man nodded as he looked away. 

They fell into a short silence until Daniel said, “Will you do me one thing?”

With an arch of his brow, Jack queried that request. Wasn’t this already about doing him one thing?  With a shrug, though, he invited the clone to put forth the new one-thing.  “Whatever it takes,” Daniel said in a soft voice, “keep us together, please.”

That sword in the side has just shifted up to pierce through Jack’s heart.  “Daniel-” He groaned and shook his head, apologetically.  The love his synthetic must have felt from this man… clone.  Part of him regretted that he would never know that kind of dedication.

The clone laughed softly like he’d thought of something funny. “You can have anything you want from the complex, we won’t need it.”  When he saw that Jack wasn’t smiling, and when he really took note of the expression on the Colonel’s face, he became crest-fallen.  “You’re not going to do any of it for me, are you?”

Jack hated that look in Daniel's eyes.  He hated even more that *he* put it there. With regret, he began to say, “Daniel, I can’t…”

“Oh, Jack please!” Daniel beseeched him, cutting him off.  “Don’t send me back there alone!  I can't kill myself.  Even if I threw myself into the biggest machine there, I’d probably just damage myself but I’d still be online. I’d lie there in a pathetic crumpled heap for thousands and *thousands* of years-”

He paused briefly, to let that thought sink through Jack.  Starting up again in a quieter, less desperate voice, the clone said, “I really need to cut my power source.  Forget coming back to the world with me.  Let’s just stay here.. in Here!” He pointed to the floor.  His eyes flicked between Jack's chocolate-brown eyes, trying to see if he’d managed to get through to this organic like he could with the clone of him.   When he saw the same resolve in this man’s eyes that he’d seen in his own lover’s eyes – right when he was about to say ‘no’ to him about something - he decided to play his trump card; “Jack, can you imagine the idea of living thousands of years, all by yourself?”

Shaking his head, Jack looked at the floor. The words, but more importantly the desperation in the soft voice, made more of an impact on him that he could let show.  It broke his heart to have to say, “Daniel, I wish I could help you, but the decision wouldn’t be up to me.  As soon as the General knows why you’re here..”

Daniel’s eyes flashed.  “Well, don’t tell him!  We can stay in here!” His voice beseeched softly.

“Daniel! We can’t hide out in here for a few hours under the pretense- ”Jack stopped short and exhaled when he saw the bitter disappointment in the blue eyes. “They’ll *know*. Trust me!” 

The men stared at each other a moment then Daniel’s eyes clouded over.  Again - Jack hated that look in Daniel’s eyes. 

“Please-” The older man entreated, asking him to not blame him for something out of his control.

“Listen,” Daniel’s voice sounded full of tears even though his eyes were startlingly clear. He continued, the situation confusing his words a little,   “I loved Jack, and I can't bear the thought of having to go on much longer without being with him, hearing his voice, seeing the way he looked at me with his incredible eyes…” He stopped as he took a close look at the man in the room with him.   “A little like you’re doing right now.”

The colonel dipped his eyes slightly, shook his head and turned away from him.   Daniel stepped up behind him, deliberately letting his front touch Jack’s back, knowing that, with their backs to the corner the camera wouldn’t pick up how close they were standing.

“Jack!” He hissed softly in his ear, aware of how that affected him.  He was right - Jack instantly hardened in his pants. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Jack tried to get a grip on his confused mind and not forget where he was or who was watching – everything!  “It’s not up to me!” He snapped abruptly as he stepped away.   The clone shook his head.

“Please don't send me back there alone,” he begged soulfully, “I miss him so much.”

Jack turned and hissed, through gritted teeth, “the decision is not up to me!”

Throwing his hands in the air, Daniel jumped up and down on the spot, his hands flailing around his head.  “Oh God, why are you being like this!?  After everything I’ve just told you!”

“I’m not your Jack!”

“Yes! You are! There!” The clone pointed start at Jack's heart.  “In there, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

Daniel pursed his lips tightly into a bud as he glared at Jack and shook his head.  With bitter disappointment in his eyes now, the clone turned away from him as he said, “I’ve seen you disobey orders before, Jack!  With Ra on Abydos.  With me and the Tollens -” His voice faltered as emotion overcame him, forcing him to slump into the chair and cover his face.   After a loud, tearless sob he arched his neck back and looked up at Jack.  “You’ve done it for strangers, why not for me?”

Hearing the distress in his friend’s voice made Jack start to tremble slightly.  He swung around on the spot, shaking his head as his mouth opened and closed but no words came out.  After a few moments of heated silent he went over and banged his fist on the door, and then the colonel was let out of the room.

The clone stared at the closed door and said, under his breath, “You’re right.  You’re not my Jack.”

.o0o.

Hammond straightened up as Jack entered the monitor room.  All eyes were on the visibly shaken man. All, including Daniel’s.  Jack avoided his friend’s gaze completely however, looking briefly at the others then at Hammond.

Pulling himself up straight he reported, “Sir, there’s a situation on P3x-989 that this clone needs my help with.”

Hammond looked at the despondent clone sitting hunched over at the table then at the man, flush faced, before him. “What sort of situation, Colonel?”

“Daniel has come through to see if I’d go back and help him with a simple problem.  It shouldn’t take too long, Sir, about an hour, tops.”

Hammond frowned.  “You can not assist them with procuring another clone, Colonel.”

“No Sir,” Jack shook his head.  “Wouldn’t - even if I could.”

“What’s that mean?” Sam asked.

Jack gave a shrug and said, “Seems the Jack clone went ballistic the day we left.  Broke the machine, saying that no one should have to suffer that kind of fate..”

Sam inhaled a loud breath.  “I always wondered how it felt knowing you’d never get out of that place, for thousands of years..”

Daniel stepped towards the small group.  “What happened to the Jack Clone?”

The ‘colonel’ remained in check as Jack fixed his gaze upon the archaeologist. “He, like the others, has died.”

“Died?”

“Long story.  I’ll grab you the book from the gift shop on nine-eight-nine if you like..” Jack snapped then realized how tight his voice was. He looked at the General and said, “It won’t take long..”

Hammond sighed, rubbed his hand over his mouth then nodded.  “SG-1, you have a go.”

Jack cut him off quickly. “Err, Sir, there’s really no need to send the full team through. I can handle this.”

Raising his brow slightly, Hammond noted Sam’s immediate reaction, which was to stiffen with suspicion.  Daniel had turned to look at Jack now as well. 

“Why not send the whole team through, Colonel?” Hammond asked cautiously. 

Daniel looked around at the group warily then he slotted his eyes to view the screen, where his double was up on his feet, pacing the tight confines and looking thoroughly miserable.  Jack's calm demeanor, however, confused him.  What had happened in there? 

The colonel was explaining to the others - “It’s a simple thing that only my clone used to do, and Daniel-” Jack hesitated as he shot the real Daniel a quick glance then waved his hand, “the Daniel–Clone thinks that I have the knowledge to help them.”

“You?” Teal'c asked.  Jack stopped mid-sentence and shot his friend a look. 

“Is that so surprising?” He screwed his face up.  Teal'c lifted his brow slightly. 

“If that’s true, then why all the hysterics when he arrived?” Sam asked. 

“You know Daniel-” Jack tried to sound flippant then realised he’d just insulted his good friend.  He turned to look at the real Daniel again, his mouth flapping in some unsaid apology.  The scientist swallowed and looked down at his feet.

“Colonel, you know procedure. I cannot account for a colonel leaving without some kind of back up.”

“Sir, he’s not going to hurt me!  He just needs my help for an hour or so.  He has to go back anyway, so I can just slip through and ..” he stopped when Hammond’s mouth dropped open.

“Colonel! That is against regulations!” He snapped. 

“Sir, I have to agree with him,” Sam backed the General as she stepped closer to the Colonel. “At least I should come along to make sure you have back up.”

“Negative, Major.” Jack dismissed her quickly.  “You and the rest of SG-1 should be preparing for P3x-459 so that we’re ready to go when I get back.”

“I’m sorry Colonel, but…”

“What about the time Jack took Charlie back?” Daniel piped up from the corner of the room.  All turned to look at him.

“Sorry, Doctor?” Hammond asked. 

Daniel wet his lips quickly then held his hand out, placatingly.  “You let him return the crystal on his own.  They tried to hurt him.  This Daniel hasn’t threatened Jack.” Daniel looked at Jack quickly, concern creeping into his voice.  “Has he?” The colonel shook his head.  “See!” Daniel lifted his hand to make his point as he looked at Hammond.

The General narrowed his eyes then nodded.  “You have one hour, Colonel. If you do not return or report back in that time, I’ll send in the team *and* SG-7 to get you out.”

Jack nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets.  “Sure, Sir. Understood.”

“Before you go, I’d like to hear his story of what happened.  Be ready to leave in a one hour, Colonel,” Hammond said before heading out of the room. 

Sam looked at Jack. “Sir, are you sure about this?” She frowned. 

“Yes, Major, I am.  It’s just a simple problem,” he obfuscated.  Sam stared a little longer then headed out of the room.

Teal'c stepped up to him. “I will gladly escort you, O’Neill.”

Nodding, Jack reached out and patted his arm.  “Not necessary, Teal'c.  You have to get ready for the next mission.”

The Jaffa lowered his head then left the room.  Jack turned and saw Daniel standing by the corner still.

“Thanks,” he said.  The anthropologist nodded.

“So, what does he need your help with?” he asked, matter-of-factly. 

Jack watched him a moment and Daniel tilted his head, furrowed his brow and wondered why Jack was staring at him like that. “Between us?” the older man finally asked, slipping his hands into his pants pockets.

“Sure-” Daniel shrugged and, unintentionally, assumed the very same pose as Jack, with his hands in his pockets. 

“I’m shutting him down.”

“Why?”

“He’s lonely.”

“Lonely?”

“As in alone.”

“I know what lonely means..”

“It has many meanings, Daniel, believe me.”

Daniel conceded that with a sharp nod. He looked around the room, slotted his eyes back towards his friend and asked, “Why you?”

It was more of a statement than a question.  Jack looked at him again, “Because.”

“Because why?” Daniel pressed.

“Just,” Jack curtailed a growl then said, “Because.”

Again with a nod, Daniel rocked on his feet and looked at the floor.  Jack waited, for he sensed his friend wanted to say something.  The words //Oh, Jack, don’t tell me you and my organic never told each other how you really felt?// kept repeating through his mind and he wondered if he’d ever get a chance to bring that up with this man. 

As he scratched behind his ear, Daniel asked, “Did he happen to say anything..?”

A prickle of heat snaked its way up Jack’s spine. “About?”

“About .. how things were going..?” Now he sounded a little uncomfortable.

Jack picked up on Daniel’s tone and tried to sound nonchalant.  “He said some things. They got along.  He and Jack rarely argued, by the sounds of it..”  He thought he’d throw that little point in, even though he didn’t have any real proof of that.

Daniel gave him a suspicious look.  “So not direct copies, then?”  He said, with a slight smile kissing his lips.

As Jack took in the slightly older face of his good, close friend he thought about the love that the clone had for ‘his’ Jack.  “Not direct, no,” he said, fatalistically.

Daniel pursed his lips, creating dimples in his cheeks, and nodded as he bounced on his feet again.  “Well, I shouldn’t keep you..”

“Don’t you have anything to say to him?” Jack asked.

“Like?” Daniel lifted his shoulders in a large shrug. 

“Nothing you want to say to him? Nothing you want to ask him about?” //Ask him about his relationship with Jack, for crying out loud!//

Again Daniel turned his mouth down as he shrugged.  “Not really.”

This surprised Jack. “Nothing?” He asked again.

“To be honest,” Daniel said, clenching his jaw. “I want to avoid him asking me about Sha’re.”

Jack read the grief in the blue eyes and nodded. “Understandable.”

“Besides, would you want to talk to the Jack Clone if he came through?”  Daniel asked, raising his chin slightly as he looked at his friend through the glasses that had perched part way down his nose. 

Jack considered that a moment. “I think we’d get along very well.”

Daniel furrowed his brow. “Really?”

Jack frowned at his friend’s derision. “Yes, really.” He lifted his head haughtily and said, “He’d be the brother I never had.”

“Jack, you have three brothers.”

“Well, he’d be the one I actually got along with.”

Daniel gave another snort of laughter as he shook his head.  “Well, I don’t have any brothers and,” - he glanced at the screen- “I think it’s better that way, for me.”

Jack wondered if he sensed something more in Daniel’s words.  They held a stare a few heartbeats then Jack nodded, like he was signaling his understanding that Daniel didn’t want to know anything the Clone might have to say. Part of him wondered if his friend already knew what the clone had told him, and by not pursuing it now, was indicating his lack of interest anymore.

As Daniel walked out of the room, the backwards pat on Jack’s shoulder left him pretty certain that Daniel was not the clone he used to be.  With a sad sigh, the colonel turned towards the monitor that showed the clone, sitting once again with his face in his hands.  Jack considered the situation.  He as much knew that Daniel wasn’t interested in him any more, yet he was still very interested in Daniel… and this clone.. needed a Jack.  Scratching his cropped hair, he left the monitor room and headed down to gear up for his mission.

 End of part 3